animus_network | ≈ first breeze! (text)

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≈ first breeze! (text)

wow, oookay.
this place is pretty messed up!
i find it to be a terrible fourteenth birthday present.
even if it's not my birthday anymore.
but, uh, belatedly!
hi, i'm john egbert.
apparently there's a lalonde-me running around, so hi lalonde-me.
it's really freaky to consider a me, that's also a rose, but still me?
how does that even work. is that like doomed timeline shenanigans?
wow does that mean there's a doomed timeline somewhere that combined me and rose?
maybe i messed up on the ectobiology and created some weird rose-me-hybrid.
freaky tentacle-ghosty-movie-wizard baby!
oh man that sounds like an awesome horror movie or something.
we should write our own horror movie.
hi everybody else that's not-me, too!

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coolkid ironic douchebag shades an penchant to be endearingly irritatin

...wwhat the hells a condom?

so basically dave, okay.
just wanted to make sure that was the prerequisite.
though dave's actually kind of a huge loser.
he's awesome, though.
just. loser-awesome.

...oh, right.
uh.
it's like a bucket protector.
they go on your junk.
...or they go on human junk.
i don't know if troll junk is different than human junk.

wwell Yes
but wwe Dont Tell Them that
i dont think their irony filled think pans are capable a Handlin the idea
that they might just be just as much a failure as the rest a us

wwhat
wwhy the fuck wwould you evven
holy shit
thats fuckin disgustin

heheheh.
you're probably right.
it's silly, overall, since i personally don't care if dave's awesome or not-awesome, he's still my best friend, but.
striders are funny things.

yeah they're kinda weird.
i mean it's because human reproduction works waaay different than what little i know of troll reproduction, really.
they're so you don't wind up with accidental babies or diseases or stuff.

they Really are
but itd be wweird if they wwerent
like
its wwhat makes them wworth havvin around
if you knoww wwhat i mean

it sounds like it?
i mean
its not somethin ivve evver givven it much thought but givven howw wweird you guys are
no offense intended
its kind a obvvious reproduction for you wwould be just as wweird
an it sounds somewwhat inefficient
i mean
wwhy wwould you end up with accidental anythin
or diseases
wwell diseases i can see bein a problem but ovver all its just

...

you are makin me come uncomfortably close to implications a my bloodcaste
that i thought id nevver havve to deal wwith
so just so wwere clear
wwere not talkin about wweird reproduction things
just because i happen to be a jadeblood
right
because i wwill gift you a shovvel to the face if thats the case

oh totally.
if dave weren't a huge nerd that pretended to be cool with his weird dead things in jars and hipster photography i wouldn't know what to do with myself.
striders are pretty great.

oh none taken.
i mean i don't really delight at talking at length about sex, alien or human, but it's sort of interesting?
in a weird, sort of slimy way.
and by slimy i mean it makes me feel slimy.
but uh.
basically we don't use buckets, we use girls?
that sounds really awful and sexist and i feel bad for saying it.
i think we should probably change the subject.

wait what does the color of your blood have to do with it?
i didn't realize different blood colors had like... different roles in life, too.
apart from the... apparent "purple is cooler than red" bullshit.

they are
i dont knoww wwhat id do wwithout jade an her guitar an her incomprehensible irony thing

i dont
really havve much a clue howw humans wwork on that respect
nevver really had much time heh to ask or wwonder about it
but i think its natural to feel that wway
the slimy bit i mean
about reproduction in general no matter wwhat species
i mean unless youre at the age youre supposed to be indulgin in it
seems to be pretty common i guess
but yes
lets
change the subject

sort a?
i mean beyond the hemospectrum puttin cooler bloods high an wwarmer bloods loww
there are some jobs that only certain castes do
jadebloods exclusivvely wwork in servvin the mother grub an dealin wwith reproduction an stuff
they are also majorly girls?
wwhich is a bitch wwhen youre a guy because they look at you funny
wwhen they dont decide to start talkin about fuckin pails wwith you
because apparently its Your Thing
evven if it really isnt
its vvery annoyin

oh man jade's really good with a bass, too.
but i'm kind of the same way about dave, haha.
guess that's kind of a thing with friendship.

bluh.
sexy stuff is weird and kind of gross.
and i'm supposed to be nearing the age where i'm into it.
that's a nope.

oh so you're like a troll baby nanny?
and that sounds pretty awful, really.
totally not why i brought up dave's condom hat, though!
his hood just kinda looks like a condom.

i guess so?
its not like i havve that many friends to knoww
but yeah

eh
at least you dont havve the threat of giant ugly ass drones
knockin on your door an cullin your ass because you didnt do your
Duty To The Empire
an found both a kismesis an a matesprit in time
though come to think about it
neither do wwe anymore
score one for the reasons wwhy the wworld endin wwas a good thing

troll baby nanny?
sort a i guess
i mean im sure its not awwful for evveryone invvolvved
but i think id much rather shoot things
than spent the rest a my life knee deep in slurry
if thats evven a thing i dunno

really?
wwhy the hell wwould he evven wwear that thing
i mean
evven for the sake a strider irony
that seems a bit
excessivve

well, i know you guys are a little weird about friendship and stuff, but...
you seem pretty cool, i'd be pretty okay with being friends with you.

yeah that...
sounds really unpleasant.
and is probably the only positive aspect of playing a world-destroying video game, yeah.

eugh.
that just sounds nasty, dude.

well it's because he's the knight of time.
his knight hat... hood... coif. whatever it is.
it looks like a condom.
heheheh.

oh
Thanks

pretty much
though unfortunately ivve seen things that look like drones
here
Not A Pleasant WWay To Die
either

precisely my point
yeah

and theres another Great Reason
wwhy i nevver made godtier
i didnt havve to find out howw fuckin ugly
my divvine pjs wwould be

no problem dude.

...oh, crap.
man i feel like i'm missing out, only not really.
i've been here like two weeks and i'm still alive.

what's your title? i know you're time, but...
my divine pjs are pretty rad, if i may say so myself.
i mean, i get a windsock on my head.
nobody can top that.

youre pretty nice too
so
yeah
lets be friends

Youre Not really
i lasted a feww months before i died
since it aint permanent
its mostly just annoyin

mage a time
though its more like
mage a fucks shit up usually wwith time
wwell
it is definitely better than a condom hat

awesome.
i'm not any good at crafts or anything though, so don't like... expect friendship bracelets.

that's still creepy.
i mean it's like... oh sup, i'm gonna die now.
oh look now i'm back!
oh, it's been a few weeks! must be time to die again.
doesn't that get... scary?

ooh. we don't have a mage.
i'm heir of breath, dave's knight of time, jade's witch of space and rose is seer of light in my timeline.

friendship... bracelets?
dare i ask?

i dont knoww
i used to be scared a it
like
bein afraid a dyin wwas a Big thing for me
wwhich is funny because
yeah
fail time player wwho needs to literally shovvel his owwn piles a corpses out a the wway
but its just
i dont knoww
you get used to it i guess
an its useful too
if you lose a limb or somethin
because you come back to life just the wway you wwere
wwhen you first arrivved

lets see
kans heir a blood, ters seer a doom, vvriss knight a life, eqs prince a space, gamzs rogue a vvoid, fefs maid a rage, kars thief a heart, ars wwitch a mind, tavvs bard a light, sol an captor are page a hope, and neps sylph a breath
an then theres the humans
jades wwitch a time, davvids knight a light, roses seer a breath an johns heir a space

it's another human thing.
kind of a girl thing i guess, too.
human kids a lot of times will take colored yarn and weave it together into bracelets to wear around your wrists to signify friendship.
i'm just really shitty at crafts.

well i guess that's pretty cool that you don't wind up a paraplegic from one too many bouts of limb-removal but it's still weird to me.
maybe i'll get used to it, too.
i kinda don't want to, though.

...sol and captor? two people are the same title and aspect?
but that makes thirteen...
aren't there only twelve of you?
whoa i'm a space player in your session?
good grief.
so much responsibility.
so many frogs.
i'm kinda glad to be little old windsock-me, to be honest.

huh
that sounds Odd
but hey
its okay
i suck at crafts too

i dunno
i mean bein a god youre kinda already hard to kill
so it probably wwont be so bad

sol an captor share title, aspect an body
its kind a Awwkwward
so wwere still technically twwelvve
you are
though i nevver really talked much to you
him you knoww wwhat i mean
to tell you the truth
after meetin myself
im kind a glad im me too

...can i ask you a really random question?

well yeah.
but i mean.
i've technically died like three times in this game?
and i don't really delight in it.
it's sort of.
not fun.
i don't really think i want to repeat it over and over again.
i guess i was sorta looking forward to getting the whole thing over with...
so that we could stop dying and being in constant peril and all that.

...oh whoa.
so like a split personality? that's...
almost kind of neat i guess?
huh.
i dunno if i've met the you from my timeline.
here or otherwise.
i know i've talked to karkat, and vriska, and terezi.
and i think i've talked to a couple of others?
or at least heard about them.
i know karkat's mentioned a gamzee.

sure

yeah
its not likely, here in the towwer
but it WWould Be Nice

split personality, twwo people in one body
its WWeird
hmm, he types like me but in vviolet
karkat is here
an vvriska an terezi wwere here but theyre gone noww
gams also here

what's the pattern with your capitalization?
i can't figure it out, hahaha.

lame.
well i guess i'll get used to it.
again.
or something.

whoa.
sounds kind of intense.
yeah, i think i remember karkat and vriska mentioning him.
like, briefly.
but sort of disdainfully?
at least on vriska's end.
though vriska seems to talk about everybody disdainfully.
yeah i've talked to karkat.
...my karkat, at least?
i dunno if there's more than one.
huh.
well i'm just gonna get to meet the whole brady bunch aren't i?

i
kind a dont havve one?
i mean i capitalize wwhen id use italics
because im lazy like that
but thats not exactly a pattern

hey
look at the brightside
not evverythin here is terrible
i mean
the movvie selection is almost tolerable

intense is a vvery polite wway a sayin it, yes
your vvriska is vvery disdainful yes
she wwasnt particularly nice to hang out wwith
theres twwo karkats right noww
yours an mine
mine is kinda bulgemunchin asshole
but hes okay sometimes
probably

...oh!
okay see that makes more sense.
it just looked really random to me so i was confused.
but no that's totally a pattern.
shh.

...did you say movie collection??

yeah vriska's kind of mean.
i like her all right anyway, though.
i mean sometimes people are mean because they don't know how else to be.
i think vriska is one of those people.
like i don't really think she means to be mean.
if that makes sense.
hahaha bulgemunching.
i think most karkats are kind of bulgemunching assholes.
but in a funny, capslock-rage-induced way.

wwell, noww you knoww then

yeah
theres a media floor wwith all sorts a movvies an games an stuff
its my favvorite floor
though i havvent really seen any really good movvie yet

mine isnt
the one from my wworld i mean
shes pretty nice
shes a browwnblood
youd like her i think
ah yeah
uh
you should
probably
not mess around wwith the karkat from my wworld
hes a cerulean like your vvriska
an hes
kind a douchebag sometimes
especially wwhen hes mad
an bein here in the towwer
hes alwways mad
hes not really funny

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≈ first breeze! (text)

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