I'm just not allowed to ask you to talk to me about stuff in general, am I? Jeez, cagey. [He's trying to lighten the mood a little, but he's also a little put off that Dave is so determined to only talk about what John was already spoiled for.]

Well, no, but now that I'm aware that my best friend has kind of been dragged backwards through a mulcher and then had his wounds cleaned with steel wool and lemon, I'd like to kind of give him some bandages in the form of a bro chat.