Three Smuppets; Text; backdated by a few days

[plushaeusrumpified]

yo.
been a fucking while since i decided to grace everybody with my presence.
tears mustve been shed in my absence im sure.
but this aint about me for once.

daves been gone a while now.
a part of me hopes he isnt coming back.
because thatd mean hes back home right?
like for real.
and not the shitty cheap imitation wasteland home that i was sent to.
actual really fucking home.

on the off chance that he does come back though.
i figured you should all know something real important.
his birthdays on dec 3rd.
and if hes back by then you should all show him how much you fuckin appreciate him.
or ill kick your ass.
kid deserves a good birthday.
feels like just yesterday i was pickin him up off that meteor.
but i aint about to get all sentimental in front of you so ill go do that in private.
guess the point of this is if hes back...
make it real goddamn awesome for him