vermicompost: (forty-nine)
Kariya Matou ([personal profile] vermicompost) wrote in [community profile] animus_network 2013-01-23 05:37 am (UTC)

Diarmuid...

[He stands still, listening to the man's words. They, too, are unexpected. He hadn't thought that Diarmuid would feel so deeply about the matter. But it's true, Diarmuid had called him Master, and he knows how seriously Diarmuid takes his role as Servant.]

I wish you hadn't lied to me. That was wrong.

I'd forgotten the truth about Sakura and what I had to do for her. That's something I can't ever let myself forget, and you shouldn't have hid it from me. But it isn't your fault I forgot. I was weak. I couldn't remember. It hurt too much. It was easier to believe the other thing.

[He doesn't feel angry so much as he feels sad. Believing he'd had a family had felt like having one, except that it had been a lie. In spite of his physical pain, he'd had that happiness. Now he knows what that feels like, and that he'll never have it.]

I shouldn't have been so foolish. I forgot what mattered most and remembered only what I wanted.

[He shakes his head, slowly.]

I don't hate you, and wouldn't kill you. You don't deserve to die for that. It wasn't all a lie. There must be a way home. I still believe that.

[He hesitates before going on. He doesn't like to ask for things, and he doesn't know if it's fair to hold Diarmuid accountable for something he did while the Tower was affecting his mind, to accept an offer made for that reason. Maybe he's selfish, because of what he wants. But is it selfish if he's doing it for Sakura's sake?]

All I ask is that you do whatever you can to help me to find it. I can't do much on my own, but with you to help, we might be able to find a way. You're still a knight. That hasn't changed. [He knows that being a knight means a great deal to Diarmuid. He doesn't want to be cruel to him.]

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