animus_network | text; ANONYMOUS

[She has too many friends in the Tower she doesn't feel ready to explain this to yet to do it un-anoned]

Maybe.

Back home something's going to happen. Something really bad. And I don't want it to, but I'm not sure I could change it. Lately I've been wondering if I should try anyway, but what I do could really hurt the people I care about most, and I could never let that happen. Ever.

But things can't stay the way they are now. I don't think the admins understand that they're hurting us. Even if we can't die. Even if these aren't our real bodies. The stuff they do hurts us and feels real. That's why so many people want to leave even if they'd want to stay otherwise.

And if they do understand that, then they need to be stopped even more.

I know we have to get rid of the admins, but I'm kind of worried that the people who are most interested in doing it seem like they'd destroy this entire place to do it. I mean, I know why they'd do that! Maybe it's selfish of me, but I want somewhere to live, too, and at home there isn't anything even if it gets fixed.

I don't think they're trying to destroy the Tower. We're just trying to find the truth, because so much has been kept from us for so long. Like with breaking the power cores. We didn't mean to do that - we only did it looking for those answers. And we did get them. A lot of them.

[She hesitates before sending this next message]

There's so much we don't know, and since the admins won't tell us, so we'll just have to get the answers ourselves. If we don't do anything because of we're afraid we'll break something, we'll be doing that learned helplessness thing, won't we? We'll be too scared to do anything that might actually stop them.

I thought they knew the power cores would break if they did that. They got them from Dax, right? Because he was the one who sent that letter that got put on the network? But he was an admin too... Are we sure he was on our side? I want to think he was, but...

We didn't know. He asked us to trust him, and we did, because he's the one who's cared about us. I'm not sure how long you've been here but I've been here a pretty long time. He always helped us, he even did something for me once without question or reason. Just because I asked. And he died standing up to Ruana for us.

I guess I don't know for sure, but I don't think those are the kinds of things an enemy would do. Or even someone just pretending to be a friend. If he was just pretending, why die for us?

I don't know, I guess, but we don't really know that much about the admins. Do you think they'd die if Ruana told them to?

I don't know.

I guess I don't really know what anybody would do if someone just ordered them to die. But for the admins... Ruana seems a lot more powerful than them, and they seem afraid of her. If she could kill Dax, she might do the same for them if they went against her.

I'd like to think they wouldn't, but maybe that's just because I don't want to die just because my future says I will.

Maybe I want to be too careful. But being too reckless is dangerous, too.

It is, but it's hard to say what's too reckless or too careful. Except for maybe a few things, I don't think we've been too reckless yet. But you think we have.

I'm betting people are probably going to fight about that a lot, which is probably bad for us all.

I was involved with that and I can say we didn't know. We were only following what opportunities we could because we felt it was all we had. It was all we could do, to make a choice - something unknown that will land a blow against the tower, or to remain in this captivity being fed a handful of half-truths at a time and tormented by our hosts?

We didn't know what exactly would happen. But Dax gave his life to give us that opportunity, so we took it. One doesn't ignore a man's dying wish.

What if it had killed everyone or something? You didn't ask everyone if what you did was okay. Was what one of the admins wanted more important than what we wanted?

It wouldn't have killed anyone. It wouldn't have brought immediate and permanent harm to anyone, not anyone up here, because Dax was fighting for us. But we had to keep it secret, for fear of our hosts discovering us, and for that, for our inability to get as many judgments on it as we could, I'm sorry.

How did you know for sure that it wasn't a trick?

I doubt he would give his life to deceive us.

In any case, I've never seen one of them lie outright. They've only given us partial truths.

text; ANONYMOUS

text, anonymous;

anonymous text

anonymous text

anonymous text

anonymous text

anonymous text

anonymous text

anonymous text

anonymous text

text

anonymous text

text

anonymous text

text