001 BITE. VOICE.

[bewareofdog]

It's a bit to take in. The entire world is gone... or my world.

And all I got to console myself is with this fuckin' oatmeal bullshit.

These people really don't know how to treat anyone, do they?

Comments

audio

[skullphones]

[For a minute, all you get over the line is clapping. And though Beat's tone of voice is jokingly irrelevant, his sentiments are true.]

Amen, sir. Amen.

audio

[bewareofdog]

Stuck in the same boat, eh?

audio

[skullphones]

A'yeah. You get used to it after a while, but it still sucks.

audio

[bewareofdog]

Ain't that the truth?

But, can't sit around bitchin' and moanin'.

audio

[skullphones]

Very true. [There's a noise that comes from the other end of the line that sounds like he's stretching.] But, I mean, chances come up to kick 'em around a bit -- but only chances. Otherwise they got so many layers of smoke and mirrors between them and us that everybody ends up dying.

audio

[bewareofdog]

Eh?

What are you talkin' about?

audio

[skullphones]

Oh boy. [He sighs.] Alright kids, get in a circle for story time.

So, the first thing you gotta know about this place is that dying? Isn't a thing. Someone mows you down, you come back to life the next morning. It can happen over and over. So anyway, when I got here, the whole tower was out of commission, right? All the lights were off except emergency ones, place looked like a dump 'cause no one cleaned it, monsters prowling all over the place. Apparently that's because all the guys who run this operation just decided to drop what they were doing and go do something else.

So yeah, they don't know how to treat anyone.

Anyway, there was a bunch of guys who decided to go figure out where they went, and I chipped along with them, because I want answers as much as the next dude, y'know. Long story short, we found them, and it was so easy because we literally rode the fuckin' elevator. But we only saw them for a second -- and hell, I'm not even sure it was them, because the next minute they had us running all over the place from God knows what, and eventually all of us died.

So yeah, they're kind of really shitty hosts, if you ask me.

audio

[bewareofdog]

... wow.

Then, this is like a videogame, huh? Infinite lives, eh?

[ No, he's processing everything else, but that's the part that is sticking out most for him. ]

audio

[skullphones]

That's one way to call it, sure. You are now inside the world's nastiest video game.

audio

[bewareofdog]

Don't you mean universes'?

audio

[skullphones]

...Universes', yeah.

[He likes this guy.]

What's your name, bro?

[keeps_count]

I'm afraid that they do with us as they please. They may claim to have rescued us but there is little peace to be found but for the friends you make.

If it is any consolation, you need only eat the oatmeal but one time while you are here.

audio

[bewareofdog]

Goro Majima.

[ He thinks of giving his entire title, but shrugs and decides against it. ]

Ah, nice yer callin' me 'bro' and not 'uncle' or 'old man.' Most punks do.

[bewareofdog]

I'm not really one who likes pallin' around too much.

Just once, eh? I suppose you've already eaten this. Like chokin' down warm vomit, right?

[keeps_count]

It makes it much easier to stay alive if you find companions.

I have, yes. I wouldn't compare it to something so... vulgar but I suppose it is a close enough comparison.

audio

[skullphones]

Beat.

You're not a cop or an asshole, so I don't care.

audio

[bewareofdog]

Pleasure.

A cop? Ah, farthest from those snakes.

[bewareofdog]

Listen, I just lost all of my companions and family. I ain't thinking about finding anyone, even a warm body to cuddle up with right now. Besides, I heard somethin' about infinite lives. So, why worry just yet?

I would. And I did. Chunky flavored.

[keeps_count]

Yes, we do come back from the dead here but it will not lessen the trauma of dying. Attempting to be solitary is foolishly reckless and I advice against it.

[Legolas just... makes a face.]

I think I have enough of a visual, I needn't have it explained to me or I might be sick.

audio

[skullphones]

[SCORE. He didn't sound at all like a cop, granted, but that was basically a shot in the dark.]

Good. Very good. If you were a cop then we'd have some serious problems. [Like, for example, the fact that his version of cops are brainless drones ordered around by some of the biggest maniacs in Tokyo.]

audio

[bewareofdog]

Oh?

And, well, I can't say they're all snakes. I like a few of 'em, but the majority of 'em stink.

[bewareofdog]

Yeah, yeah... I'll keep it in mind. We can get each other some friendship bracelets later, okay?

[ A beat. ]

Yer like that one, eh?

audio

[skullphones]

We don't even have that comfort. They got a badge, they're worthless, through and through.

audio

[bewareofdog]

Sorry to hear that.

I met at least three I'd stick personally. [ And that's a compliment in his book. ]

[keeps_count]

Friendship bracelets? This is a matter of survival more than anything. And considering I've hardly met you, I wouldn't consider us friends.

[A tilts of his head.]

That one?