animus_network | 1 ✘ voice

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1 ✘ voice

Something tells me that my world’s not actually been destroyed. Because my world? It’s pretty destructo-proof. We’ve proven that. A couple times, actually. We’re like cockroaches, cut off our heads and we come right back. And some letter saying that you saved me from the big bad--

[ a beat ] Hold on. Who are you supposed to be, anyway? You and your little letter with your little words. Because if you’re not Buffy then i’ve gotta wonder if you’re trying to be her and i’m not sure she’s ever been too big on imitation or flattery being the highest art of anything.

And anyway, if my world had been destroyed, you would’ve saved Buffy, not me. Probably Will, too. I’m not usually the guy that gets picked for these sort of things -- it’s like how I always picked last for dodgeball and put on the bench. I’d probably get picked last for who gets to live in the brand new world order, too.

So, uh, you maybe wanna tell me what’s actually going on? ‘Cause the fake letter really isn’t gonna cut it.

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[It's Willow on the video, and she looks overwhelmed and even a little fragile. Her eyes are wide, like she can't dare herself to believe it's really him.]

You sound like Xander. And not-- vampire Xander or, or Xander from some crazy other dimension who won't know I am, but Xander-Xander. [Oh no, not going to cry. A couple tears stand in her eyes, but she holds them back.] It is you, right?

Edited 2012-02-10 00:01 (UTC)

[ There's a couple long seconds of staring because what in the name of -- he hadn't expected Willow to be here. Or himself, but that's besides the point. And then, slowly, he's smiling, hoping that Will doesn't start to cry. ]

If it looks like a Xander and it sounds like a Xander, then you know what it probably is. [ a beat ] I'd ask you if it smelled like a Xander but I don't think these things work that way.

They-- they don't. But if I saw you I could, make sure? [Desperately hopeful look, but she doesn't cry, thankfully.]

Where are you?

If you really wanted to? I think I took a shower recently, but with this whole world destroying business, who knows when the last time I bathed could've been.

[ oh right she asked a question. ] I'm uh.. you know what, i'm not really sure.

Smelling is not really necessary, but I might need to, um. Hug. Can there be a hug?

I've been here for months, Xander. [Without anyone else from home, is went unsaid.]

Willow if I was wherever you were right now, there would have been a hug five minutes ago. Probably even ten.

[ Wait, wait, hold up. ] You've been here for months? But I just saw you at home. When I was home. Whenever that was.. even though I don't know when that was. [ this is making his head hurt. ]

[Oh a hug ten minutes ago. This is why you're her best friend. She focuses enough to actually explain things, trying to put off her urge to go find him right then.] We were still fighting the First when I left, [she explains.]

But time does, I don't know, it's funny here. I don't have any answers, it's just the way it works. There's a library but no Giles.

[ Xander's nodding slowly at first and then a little faster, in complete agreement. ] That's right! And now-- [ a beat ]

-- Now we're here. Where there's a library with no Giles, I wasn't even sure that was possible. I would've thought the siren call of any library would be too strong for him to resist.

I wish, but it seems like not. Nothing is really consistent or sensical.

I can give you a tour? And get you your oatmeal. And-- god, I just have so much to tell you, I don't even know where I'm going to start. [She's visibly worried, because Willow at this point in her life is just always scared that her friends are going to disapprove of her. There's so much to disapprove of.]

Including my oatmeal? Wait, why would I want my oatmeal. [ Xander's getting lost in his own confusion now, give him a moment. ] I want a tour and a hug more than I want my oatmeal, how about we skip that part of the trip.

[ But don't worry, because now he's trying to smile while looking around himself a bit. ] Should I try to find you, or are you gonna find me? 'Cause i'm thinking that if I start walking around too much i'll end up in a boss battle without a sword, and i'm not sure I can win one of those.

You have to have oatmeal before you can eat anything else. It's a tower thing.

[Suddenly too intense and serious for the casual tone she'd been trying before, she blurts out,] You're not going to get hurt, Xander! I'm not going to let you. [... Oh, um. She's way too antsy to pretend she's okay anymore.] I'm just-- going to come find you, there aren't that many computer terminals to check.

Stay right there.

[Boop video off.]

Staying right here.

[ Oh. But the boop and the video feed and the off. Right.

Xander's just going to sigh and sit here and twiddle his thumbs and hope he isn't eaten by Bowser. ]

[Bowser is not eating him, oh my god, Willow would be so upset.

It takes several minutes, but eventually she does find him, looking like she's trying to bottle up all of her feelings and only partially succeeding. She's glancing right and left, not harried but not taking her time, either.

The second she lays on him, she rushes up to him and wraps her arms around him, tight and wordless and hiding her face in his shirt.]

[ Yeah, Xander wouldn't really appreciate being eaten by Bowser either. Not his idea of a good day.

He's not too concerned about all of this, or at least he's trying not to let on that he's mega-concerned about this whole thing, but then suddenly there's Willow and she's clinging to him and Xander's always been a sucker when it comes to Willow and her freak outs. Always.

So he wraps his arms around her, pulling her close with his nose pressed into her hair -- soothing even though he has no way to protect. ] Hey, hey. It's okay.

[Protection is the last thing on her mind. There's so much she hasn't been able to tell anyone else, hasn't been able to say. All these doubts swirling around in her that they wouldn't get, because they're a troll or she just met them or they just wouldn't understand, would take too much explaining beforehand for it to be therapeutic. Willow has wanted her friends back, her real friends that she's lived through hell with for seven years. Through real hell and dating hell, all kinds of hell.

And one of them is finally here, and it's like it all comes pouring out. She makes a soft whimper-y sort of noise at the comforting, and relents a little in the clinging but doesn't let go.]

What if it's not okay? You could disappear tomorrow and I'd be alone again. And I've, I've made friends here but it's not the same, it's not you or Buffy, I have to explain everything.

Everyone keeps getting hurt, and what if I'm doing it all wrong? What if you get hurt and I can't do anything about it?

[ Xander doesn't know half of what Willow's thinking or what she's been through here, he doesn't even know three-quarters of that or ninety-nine percent of it, but he knows Willow. And he knows the way that she thinks, and he knows how she falls apart just like he knows how she puts herself back together. He's been there through too many things to count, but he hasn't lost track of any of them.

Being the best friend after all, it's kind of his job not to.

So he takes her by the face, palms gentle against her cheeks as he lifts her face and looks at her intently, smiling just a little. ]

I'm not hurt yet, am I? And even if I do get hurt, won't be your fault. And you'll be there to help, and you'll do everything you can do. Which means it won't be wrong, because it'll be you.

[He knows all of her weaknesses, and she doesn't need to worry about offending him or wondering what he's thinking, because she always knows what he's thinking and she already knows that she can't make him leave. She can't do anything to make him leave.

She sniffles helplessly, but something in her feels less alone. Her hands come up and rest lightly on his arms, framing her.]

You know I do a lot of things wrong, [she answers, but not like she's trying to refute what he said.]

I haven't even been here that long, and it feels like everything's changed. I don't know who I am without you and everyone else to remind me. [Even in Devon, she hadn't felt this way. She'd been scared and guilt-ridden, but this was more like after she'd crashed that car with Dawn in it. It felt like Willow wasn't sure she was ever going to get everyone back.]

[ It's easy for Xander when it feels like he's practically known her longer than he's known himself -- maybe that's part of what being a best friend means. Or, more like, he's pretty damn sure that's part of what it means. To love a person for all of them, almost more than just the good parts, because that's what you've gotta be able to put up with.

Not that he thinks Willow's got all that many faults. Except for the crazy powerful scary witch thing, but he understands that part of her too. ]

You're Will. My Willow. [ He looks at her firmly, as if he's capable of being stern, though his hold on her is still light. ] The same Willow i've always known, who can do amazing things without even having to try. You're the Willow that i've turned to almost every day of my life and nothing's gonna change that. Not even some... castle in some other world.

You're still you, and i'm here to make sure you stay that way.

It's actually a tower, not a castle. [But she's mostly saying that because she needs a second to process, too caught up in Xander's faith in her. It brings her level, closer to normal, and maybe she can actually tell him what's going on now instead of just falling apart on him.

Well, in a second she can.] You know that you're the best, right? Somewhere they held a Multidimensional Best Best Friend pageant and they said to themselves, well darn, Joe, that Xander Harris never showed up and we were going to give him the gold.

But you totally got the gold, like, ages ago, even though your invitation got lost in the mail, and I gave a rousingly sentimental speech about you at the award ceremony.

Aww, you did? Your speech was probably better than any I could have given anyway, I would've forgotten to proofread it. [ He gives her another grin, knowing full well that there's soon to be an onslaught of some sort coming on.

About what, he has no idea, it could be about anything considering where they are. But he's ready for it, whenever she decides to open up the flood gates. ]

And I hope you kept the trophy somewhere safe for me, since I haven't got any others. Maybe I can put it on my shelf right between that one empty space i've got and the other dustier one, it'll look good.

It's been feeling all lonely in my closet for ages, right next to your "Voted Most Likely To Never Take A Math Class Again" commemorative plaque. I didn't think you wanted that one.

[Feelings settled and comfort received, the inevitable outpouring of information and life details can be addressed with more appropriate Scooby flippancy. Willow takes a step back to break their closeness, but reaches out to link arms with him, better for regular talking. And walking, whenever they get their move on.]

... So I should probably tell you a couple things. [She turns hesitant, but isn't anywhere near the barely contained mess of earlier.]

[ Xander had been about to say that she could keep that plaque because really, he already had one about never taking another science class again either. But, well, erm, she seemed set on talking about other things so Xander left it where it was, content to walk along beside her.

Glancing over to look at her as soon as she looks at him, Xander lifts his eyebrows, casual expectancy written across his features.

Oh yes. He's waiting for it, and he knows its going to be the downpour of the century. ] And by a couple of things, i'm guessing you mean a couple hundred things.

[She probably shouldn't keep him in suspense, but... it's so hard to say this! Guiding him over to the stairs and shooting him nervous looks every so often.]

Not a couple hundred! Just a few. A few doozies.

Um, I should start with tower things. So everyone here is from like, different dimensions and times and species and things like that. It's like a big interdimensional mess. I almost wonder if one of Anya's old buddies got overexcited with the wrong wish and threw everyone together.

[Cause putting off talking about the stuff that actually matters to her is the best decision.]

[ Willow, you really gotta stop with the nervous looks. You're making Xander a little paranoid here.

But after a couple of surprised looking blinks, Xander digests that information about as well as anyone... possibly can. ]

So somebody tried to make a smoothie out of dimensions and ended up with this place. Okay. I got it. I can handle that, i've watched enough episodes of the X-Files to know when a guy's walked through the wrong door and fallen into a time rift.

Yeah, that part wasn't too hard for me to get used to, either, [she admits as they start down the stairs.] It's more the... well, not having any of you here that was hard.

There's a lot of trolls around and they can be great-- and also, uh, fascist and violent-- but they take a lot of explaining.

1 ✘ voice

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