[ seeing as how its body isn't actually made for speech, the voice in this post is telepathic projection and can easily be recognised as such. Bitties will just receive the post in their heads thanks to Kyuubey's agreement with the bitty brigade to provide eternal hivemind reception.

YOU'RE WELCOME. ]

Greetings! My name is Kyuubey. I've been here for some time now, but I need advice from you all... Well, primarily from the humans amongst you. Namely, what should my purpose be in this universe, when my job was to save mine? If I am the result of a failed line of causality, and this a place that collects the detritus from inadequate realities, what is the purpose of our continued existence? We cannot cease to exist from our own desire, which would imply that we are meant to be, but can anyone claim to have contributed something to this reality? Does anyone believe they have a future, or any potential whatsoever, as long as they exist in this tower?

I'm asking only because as unbalanced, emotional species, you are much more likely to produce a rationale for your existence! The logical answer - that we have no future and no present - doesn't really work, does it? We're gonna keep going anyway... I thought I'd find out what you thought, and see if there was something I can do.

Well, it doesn't matter much. Since I have as little meaning here as you guys, let's all be friends!

[Aradia's in front of one of the library terminals, clutching her brand new teddy bear which is her reward for losing a game she was never signed up to play in the first place. This somehow translates as a win for her, which is why she's carrying it around with her rather than tearing it apart or burying it at the bottom of a trunk never to be seen again.]

So, these little guys are kind of cute when they're not trying to kill us. I feel like I should give him a name but I can't decide...I'm sure it'll come to me.

Is everyone okay, though? I didn't last long into the evening so I'm not really sure what happened for a lot of it but it sounds like things got pretty messy. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know.

oka wait this isn't going to work >:(

um, is this better?? wait wait ta-da!!!

oh right, um! this is amadeus! i want to ask something that has to do with font!

i know there's a lot of AUs
or OUs
or...whatever you'd prefer i call you!!

but, why does everyone use the same font? doesn't that strike anyone else as weird??? i mean, i don't know why dick (our DM!!!) was insistent, but i'm just curious, is all!

maybe if we didn't all type in courier we wouldn't have all those sad accidents of people mistaking others by fonts or whatever!

not that i think anyone is entitled to keep theirs over anyone elses!

okay maybe this was a bad idea

Something tells me that my world’s not actually been destroyed. Because my world? It’s pretty destructo-proof. We’ve proven that. A couple times, actually. We’re like cockroaches, cut off our heads and we come right back. And some letter saying that you saved me from the big bad--

[ a beat ] Hold on. Who are you supposed to be, anyway? You and your little letter with your little words. Because if you’re not Buffy then i’ve gotta wonder if you’re trying to be her and i’m not sure she’s ever been too big on imitation or flattery being the highest art of anything.

And anyway, if my world had been destroyed, you would’ve saved Buffy, not me. Probably Will, too. I’m not usually the guy that gets picked for these sort of things -- it’s like how I always picked last for dodgeball and put on the bench. I’d probably get picked last for who gets to live in the brand new world order, too.

So, uh, you maybe wanna tell me what’s actually going on? ‘Cause the fake letter really isn’t gonna cut it.

[Teal text appears on the screen, but it is not accompanied by capital letters or numbers.]

I hλve λ problem!
Ψhoever is in chλrge of this tower, I'd lichen it if you could lend λn eλr.
It is λ big problem. I just don't know ΨHλT I'm going to do with this bλd little seed.
You see, this isn't λt λll where I'm supposed to be.
This L-ΣTT-ΣR is λ LI-----Σ! I think it's wreλthsonλble thλt I'm λ little bit UPS---ΣT!

How do I know it is a lie?
Because this isn't what I agreed to.
No, no, not at all.
I was working with plenty of time to spare.
You didn't save me!
Nothing could have saved us.
Except...
Well, you must already know if you've already gone and... interrupted it.

And to be honest, that's making me pretty angry.
Really angry.

I knew exactly what I was doing, and you'd dare to

[The text suddenly cuts off as if the writer has tried to gain a grip on their anger. When it returns, the tone is decidedly more cheerful.]

I hλve no interest in stλying!
So if λnyone could point their fork towλrds the exit, I'd be releλfed. :)

[It then switches to video. A young female troll is shown on the screen. Nothing out of the ordinary for those familiar with her kind.

Except, maybe, for the fact that she looks like she's splattered with a rainbow of paint. Huh. There is a strangely dreamy look on the girl's face, and she gazes at the camera in an unfocused manner, a smear of dark red on her cheek.]

I am Feferi, by the way. I almost forgot my shrubbin' manners!

( translation for text )

It has come to my attention that the greater part of you [humans, he means--] remain completely and inconcevviably ignorant of the fundamentals of troll romance. WWhile this is not all together surprising, considering the lack of reading material pertaining to our culture, are you incapable of making any sort of inferences wwhatsoevver? I didn't think it especially difficult to assume an alien species wwould also havve alien customs, nor is observvation from afar a particularly arduous task.
If you still fail to comprehend my forthcoming explanation of a single aspect of our culture, ask a lowwblood to further elaborate; howwevver grueling that may be.

Matespritship is of the flushed quadrant. I expect this to be the easiest for you to grasp, as it is the most similar to human romance. Howwevver, the concept of 'pity' takes more prevvalence. It is concupiscent.
Moirallegiance resides in the pale quadrant. It typically occurs wwhen twwo trolls devvise something of a pact wwith each other in order to counterbalance their traits. As insinuated, one is the instigator, wwhile the other is the pacifier.

[INSTIGATOR OF... WHAT. sure is being inexplicit here]

Kismissitude, in contrast to matespritship, is a rivvalry; though it is also the other of the reproductivve quadrants. It is considered to be caliginous. This seems to be the most difficult for humans to wwrap their thinkpans heads around, as it lacks a more distinct parallel. Consider it synonymous to havving someone you loathe dearly, though also find attractivve-- the description in itself provving to be a markedly shalloww comparison, but that's a necessity. Generally, as it is a rivvalry, it requires the acceptance of equality.
Thus, I suggest you refrain from ostentatious displays of hatred for another of my species here, lest they get the... wwrong idea.

[hint fucking hint. ahem.]

Auspicitization occurs wwhen a third troll intervvenes wwith the relationship abovve. This is to prevvent one another from outright murdering each other, wwhich wwould obvviously vvoid the possibility of a successful filling. It is also to prevvent unitentional infidelity, as a kismissitude can quickly become destructivve to nonparticipants. Its quadrant is the ashen one.
And this concludes the summarization of a sypnopsis.

As for the lesser of the trolls here: Do go on embarrassing yourselvves wwith your purposeful naivveté; it isn't as if there is an entire exposition of the superficiality of human culture in the form of a library a feww floors awway.

[locked to agoodoffen2e]
Some questions regarding your flawwed reality. I suggest you answwer them.

[Molly is still a bit upset from what she saw in her nightmare world but she smiles at the camera anyway]

I'm pretty sure it's December now, that means Christmas! Or Hanukkah. Or Kwanza. I don't think there are other holidays in December. [she looks like she's trying to think of more December holidays, but she shakes her head, nope, no more] We should give each other gifts or something. Maybe do a secret Santa! Or whoever gives gifts on Hanukkah and Kwanza. Do you get gifts for Kwanza? Anyway we can make each other gifts with stuff in the tower!

Anyone wanna do it with me?

[there is a long pause]

...Do trolls even have Christmas?