002 ♋ Text

[papshooshing]

WOW, WASN'T THAT JUST FUCKING FUN
AND BY FUN I MEAN I WOULD RATHER JUMP IN A PILE OF FRESHLY STEAMING SHIT THAN TO DO THAT AGAIN.
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO GO INTO DETAILS HERE. WE'RE JUST LEAVING IT AT THAT, OKAY?
OKAY.
NOW ONTO SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAT I SHOULD HAVE ADDRESSED EARLIER BUT WAS FAR TOO DISTRACTED BY THE FACT MY MOIRAIL CAN'T SEEM TO KEEP OUT OF THIS NONSENSE FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS AT A TIME.
WHICH HAS GOT TO STOP, BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE *MY* LITTLE PUMP BISCUIT CAN TAKE ONE MORE THING HAPPENING TO HIM.
SERIOUSLY, THE KID CAN'T CATCH A BREAK EVER AND MY LITTLE VEINS JUST BURST FROM SYMPATHY AND ALL THAT OTHER CLICHED HOOFBEAST SHIT.
IT'S NOTHING SHORT OF TRAGIC AND I HAVE TO WONDER WHOSE BAD SIDE HE MUST HAVE GOTTEN ON
OR IF THERE'S THIS SICK FASCINATION WITH HIM ON THEIR PART.
ANYWAY, PRETTY SURE MY INTENT HERE WASN'T TO RAMBLE ON ABOUT THAT.
IT WAS THIS:
WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL MY STUFF.
HALF OF MY BOOKS ARE MISSING AND THAT SHIT WILL NEVER BE ACCEPTABLE.
IF I CAN'T WATCH MY MOVIES ON MY OWN GODDAMN HUSKTOP, THE LEAST THAT THIS PLACE COULD DO WOULD BE TO RETURN EVERYTHING IN MY TRUNK ENTIRELY
BUT NO!
LET'S SIT THERE AND LAUGH AT KARKAT VANTAS. SEE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE HIM FUCKING SING LIKE SOME SONGBIRD.
YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO!


[ Filtered to Signless ]

AS FOR YOU.
LOOK, THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO...
YOU SEE, I HAVE THIS
OH FUCK IT ALL.
FORGET I EVEN CONTACTED YOU.
THIS IS DUMB AND I AM EVEN DUMBER FOR THINKING THIS WAS A FEASIBLE SOLUTION.

Comments

[papshooshing]

HA HA HA.
HOW FUCKING CUTE CAN YOU GET?
YOU THINK YOU ACTUALLY *KNOW* ME.
SIT BACK, ASSHOLE. YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY LEARN SOMETHING IN THE WEEKS TO COME.

[caliginous]

AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO SAY OTHERWISE, I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH YOU AT LEAST TWICE BEFORE.
SO I'M PRETTY SURE I QUALIFY FOR THAT MEDAL.
YOU CAN KEEP IT BY THE WAY.

TRY ME.

[papshooshing]

THOSE WERE OTHER KARKATS.
I AM NOT THEM, CLEARLY.
APPARENTLY I AM MAKING DIFFERENT CHOICES AND THUS I AM DIFFERENT.
DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME BASED ON THE ACTIONS OF PAST KARKATS.
THEY'RE DUMBASSES THAT DON'T KNOW THE SKY FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN.

[caliginous]

I'D ALMOST CALL THAT A THREAT.
BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE A LONG HOOFBEAST BASED STICK AND ALSO WOULDN'T ACTUALLY BE THAT STUPID.
OR MAYBE I'M GIVING YOU TOO MUCH CREDIT.

[but past karkats are pretty retarded, that's one thing they can agree on.]

BUT SINCE YOU'RE SO FUCKING EAGER........
WHAT'S SO DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU?
SO FAR YOU'RE PROVING TO BE PRETTY SIMILAR.
EXCEPT FOR A FEW DETAILS THAT I WON'T BOTHER BRINGING UP.

[papshooshing]

FUCK YOU.
I DON'T HAVE TO *TELL* YOU JACK SHIT.
I'M STILL CONVINCED I'M BETTER OFF NOT HAVING ANY SORT OF INTERACTIONS WITH YOUR SORRY NUBBY ASS.

[caliginous]

BETTER OFF NOT DEALING WITH THE NUBBY ASS WHO'S BEEN HERE FOR A YEAR AND KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK HE'S TALKING ABOUT?
I TAKE IT BACK, YOU'RE SOMEHOW *WORSE* THAN PAST VANTAS.
AT LEAST PAST VANTAS COULD TAKE THE FOOT OUT OF HIS MOUTH ONCE IN A WHILE.
WHAT'S GOT YOUR PANTIES IN A TWIST?
ASIDE FROM THE OBVIOUS.

[papshooshing]

IF YOU WERE THE END ALL BE ALL, THEN YES THAT WOULD MAKE ME WORSE, WOULDN'T IT?
IT WOULD JUST BE FUCKING *DUMB*
HOWEVER, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE TO DEFER TO SO DON'T GET ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY.
RELYING ON YOU ALONE IS FUCKING STUPID AND ANYONE WHO DOES THAT SHOULD JUST ACCEPT THEIR MISFORTUNES THAT WILL SURELY FOLLOW.

[caliginous]

IF WE WERE CALCUL8ING ALTERN8 TIMELINES, THEN YEAH.
IT WOULD.

GO ON AND SHARE YOUR INTIMID8INGLY LARGE SWIMMING HOLE OF KNOWLEDGE THEN.
I'M SURE PLENTY OF THE OTHERS WOULD BENEFIT FROM IT.

IMPLYING ANYONE IS DUMB ENOUGH TO PUT ALL OF THEIR STOCK IN ONE TROLL.
BUT I PROBABLY SPOKE TOO SOON.

[Especially not him.]

[papshooshing]

I NEVER SAID IT WAS ME EITHER?
HOLY SHIT, NO ONE SHOULD LISTEN TO ME.
I GOT SIX AND A HALF TROLLS KILLED, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

[caliginous]

GLAD WE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY.
I MEANT ALL OF YOUR OTHER KNOWLEDGEABLE CONTACTS, ASSHOLE.







SIX AND A *HALF*?

[papshooshing]

I HAVEN'T SLEPT YET AND HAVE OTHER MORE *PRESSING* MATTERS TO DEAL WITH.
ONLY HALF OF MY ATTENTION SPAN IS EVEN BEING DIRECTED YOUR WAY.
SO YEAH.
AND A *HALF* I GUESS.

[caliginous]

GOD YOU'RE INFURI8ING.

HOW DO YOU GET HALF A TROLL KILLED????????
UNLESS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SOLLUX OR CAPTOR.
LAST I CHECKED, YOUR'S WAS STILL ONE DUDE.

[papshooshing]

GOOD.
AT LEAST I CAN DERIVE SOME FORM OF PLEASURE FROM THAT.

[caliginous]

YOU KNOW.
I'M GOING TO BE STR8 WITH YOU.
SINCE I RAN OUT OF FUCKS TO GIVE SOMETIME IN THE PAST FEW PERIGEES.
IF THAT WAS WHAT YOU WANTED, ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SAY SO.

[papshooshing]

...
YOU'RE NOT IMPLYING WHAT I THINK.
PLEASE, DEAR FUCKING HUMAN GOD ABOVE.

[caliginous]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
JESUS FUCK.
YOU ARE SO EASY.
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IOTA OF THOUGHT IN REGARDS TO HOW WE ARE EVEN CLOSE TO BEING SIMILAR.

[papshooshing]

THANK GOD I'M NOT.
I MIGHT BE A RAGING ASSHOLE, BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT A DICK.

[caliginous]

I'D CALL IT BRUTAL HONESTY.
I TAKE GR8 PRIDE IN MY PROFICIENCY IN SAID SKILL.

[papshooshing]

ALL I'M HEARING IS BLAH BLAH BLAH.