video

[mutab1e]

[Stop the presses, it's a video post today. Maybe Equius really doesn't want to bother, because it's a very short message, and he looks like he's pretty tired out from... something or another.]

If anyone sees a tyrian-blood troll named Nepeta Leijon, please tell me. Immediately.

[His expression is unusually severe.]

Comments

[chronomancer]

[Eridan walks resolutely towards his own room, leading Equius by the hand. He tries to go slow, though, rushing would probably just upset Equius some more, but he keeps a steady, firm hold on his hand. He hopes that's reassuring, but he wouldn't really know. He stops in front of his door, peeking inside to make sure none of his roommates is around, and breathes a sigh of relief when its empty. Good, good.]

After you.

[He steps back, holding the door open and giving Equius an expectant look.]

[mutab1e]

[Looking more confused than anything else now, Equius steps through, looking back at Eridan more than once.] W-what are we doing?

[chronomancer]

[Eridan stepped after him and closed the door quietly, shaking his head.]

Something you clearly need.

[And he's not entirely sure he wants to do, but hey. It's cool, he's used to doing what no one else wants to do. This is just Tuesday for him. He shakes his head and starts going about the room, throwing blankets and pillows onto his bed, to create a makeshift, improvised pile.]

[mutab1e]

Wait-- what?

[Equius can do nothing but stand there and watch while Eridan goes around, totally destroying all those perfectly made beds. Each corner he ripped from its place made Equius die a little bit inside. This whole situation is really not making him feel very comfortable, okay...]

Uh, those shouldn't be on the floor...

[chronomancer]

It's okay. I'll clean up once we're done.

[He eyed the pile on the bed with a critical eye. It was on the small side, but he didn't really have enough bedding to make it bigger, but it'll do. He unceremoniously shoves the entire mess onto the floor and turns to give Equius a speculative look.]

But before that, you and I, on the pile.

[mutab1e]

B-but...

[And when it's all swept onto the floor, Equius visibly cringes. THERE IS SO MUCH BACTERIA ON THAT FLOOR, ERIDAN AMPORA. HE IS NOT GETTING ON THAT!!!]

[...]

[...oh, yes he is, apparently. But he does NOT look happy about it. And he's looking at Eridan, silently pleading him to call it off, because that is gross and he sees where this is going and he does not want to do this right now.]

[chronomancer]

I know, I know. It should be a pile of rifles, blame the tower for taking my entire sylladex away.

[He rolled his eyes behind the sunglasses and then dropped into the pile. Surprisingly, it held.]

Come here.

[mutab1e]

[That... that was a direct order.]

[He couldn't disobey that.]

[Silently and carefully, Equius sat down next to him.]

[chronomancer]

[He'd never tried this in a non-doomed context. Sort of. He tilted his head to the side and softened his voice, taking away much of the edge in it.]

Where's Nepeta, Eq?

How many times have I rewritten this tag... /head in hands

[mutab1e]

...She's... she's gone.

[Pause.]

Not-- not dead, though she's probably dead too! IT's just. She's not coming back, Eridan. I know it. I found one of her roomates, they said that she's just gone, every trace of her body and everything she owns is gone, and-- and you know the plaque on the front where it lists the names of the residents? She's not there anymore. Oh my god, Eridan, I know what happened, I know what happened and she went to find them after I told her I died and-- and oh my god, she just stopped responding and never came to find me after I told her where I was and she-- she lost, Eridan, she lost, and they just destroyed her and I was supposed to stop her and I didn't and it's all my fault.

[His voice starts squeaking about two sentences into this monologue. Eventually he's just curled up again, facing away from Eridan and everything except the side of the nearest bed -- the bare bed because everything is DOWN HERE and... ugh.]

d'awwww T___T Equius, baby, come to my arms and let me love you

[chronomancer]

[Oh. Oh wow, that sucked. Eridan shifted to lie on his side, placing a hand on Equius shoulder. But... mercifully, he did have an answer for the poor troll. For once.]

Eq, Equius, breathe. It's not your fault. I need you to breathe and listen to me, very, very carefully. Alright?

Re: d'awwww T___T Equius, baby, come to my arms and let me love you

[mutab1e]

Yes it is my fault, Eridan! It's totally my fault! It's-- I'm her moirail, it's my job to stop her, and I can't even do that! I-- I even talked to her, I had every single chance to stop this, and I thought I had gotten through to her, but I didn't and now she's dead and yes, it is my fault, I can't even fulfill simple moirallegiance duties, can't you see that?!

[chronomancer]

I see a troll so devoted to his moirail he's panicking and not thinking straight. And I understand that, I do. She's your moirail, for fuck's sake, I don't expect any less from you, but Equius... you're giving up on her.

[mutab1e]

Wha-- how?

[Despite this, his fists noticeably tighten around a clump of feathers and fabric that was once a comforter for the beds.]

[chronomancer]

Because you're assuming the worst and running away with it.

[Eridan reached a claw and flicked one of Equius horns.]

Even I know Nep deserves more credit than you're giving her. You're connecting the dots in the most panicky way possible. You didn't see anything, you don't know. You don't break down and wallow in self-loathing or go on a revenge warpath over a moirail if you don't know.

[Eridan flicked that horn again, voice stern, but not cruel.]

Besides, it is not unheard of for people to leave this Tower and then come back. I talked with a bloodswapt Tavros, a brown blood. He'd been here before and then taken elsewhere, and then returned.

[And a third and final horn-flick punctuated that last bit, which was the one he hoped Equius fixated on.]

[mutab1e]

[The shiver is clearly visible when Equius felt the flicking on his horns. The next two came as less of a shock, even through the insane amount of sensors in those hunks of orange bone, but he still felt that it would be better to turn around and actually look at Eridan anyway. And also take off his glasses, which was a bad idea in the long run, but it sounded good because they were starting to get really awkward and with all this rolling around he didn't want to completely smash them.]

...W-what?

[As Eridan hoped, he did indeed fixate the most on the last one. But instead of going, "Hang on a moment, Nepeta's not dead!", his thoughts steered in an (unsurprisingly) more self-deprecating direction.]

Sorry. I'm sorry... you're right, I...

[chronomancer]

[Eridan shook his head at the apologies, though he should have expected them, really.]

I've done worse, when I thought my moirail was dead.

[But his tone implied he'd rather not talk about that, and he shook his head accordingly.]

You don't have to apologize for anything.

[mutab1e]

[And this is the one time Equius actually does pick up on intonation, it seems. Or maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it either. That's the general reaction when it comes to Feferi.]

Wha... yes I do! You just said...

[chronomancer]

I just said you weren't thinking straight, and I've said I've been there before.

[Eridan shrugs lightly.]

It's not a nice place to be in, that's all. I don't blame you for reacting the way you did.

[mutab1e]

[Someone doesn't blame him? That's new.]

[Equius rolls onto his back and folds his arms, staring at the ceiling. But it's not out of any sort of frustration at Eridan, no; in fact, it's quite the opposite. It's just...]

That doesn't change the fact that I should have been there with her in the first place. Maybe then she... wouldn't have left...

...ugh, what am I saying? This is ridiculous.

[He sighs deeply and screws his eyes shut. Stupid feelins pile, making him lose grip on his emotions. Like he's sooooo good at it otherwise.]

[chronomancer]

This whole place is ridiculous.

[Eridan shrugged, reaching to rub the bridge of his nose under his sunglasses.]

I think you're entitled to a little ridiculousness every now and then. And losing your moirail, however temporary it might be, seems a good reason for it.

[mutab1e]

Maybe... maybe. [The second word came very close to being 'but'. However, Equius thought better of it at the last second. "But just because I'm entitled doesn't mean I should do it"; "but she still may not come back", etc. Maybe changing the subject will do something to help...]

...er. How is Feferi?

[SEE, EQUIUS? This is what happens when you try to be social.]

[chronomancer]

She's fi---

[Eridan closed his eyes, sighing. He will not snap at Equius. He will not snap at Equius. He will not snap at Equius...]

Better. She's doing better.

[mutab1e]

Good.

[He develops a sudden interest in something random hanging off the wall, and stares at that for a few seconds before speaking again.]

Um... tell her... apologize to her for me, okay?

[chronomancer]

What for?

[Eridan tilted his head to the side, curious. Curious and not angry, not yet. What did you do to his moirail again?]