First Sermon [Text]

[iron_infidel]

[Upon his arrival there had been no access to such a network and now that The Signless had found such a device. Now he would be sure to use it to his advantage. He had been informed that their were others here that were of his species. There was even another 'him.' Using his instinct he goes to the network, to introduce himself, and let others know of his presence. Hopefully there would be no repercussions.]

[Network Post]

I give a humble welcome to those who are residents in this tower. I have come to this network to ask a favor.
To start out, I do wish to apologize if I am disturbing any of you.
I am speaking to all of you, but I wish to inquire about the location of those of my species.
That species being, Troll. It is that I am and all I ever have been.
I wish to find who I can and gain information about our location and the different universes that we have come from.
I have already found a considerable amount of information about this neighborhood, consumed the required nutrition and made a few friends.
Unfortunately I have not made contact with any of my roommates and have been informed that they do reside there. I believe my room number is 01-14.
It is not required to meet you, for this I am certain of, but I would like to know the residents I will grow accustomed to seeing daily.

Recently I have seen a increasing amount of disarray and new arrival confusion on the network.
If I may, I am willing to offer assistance to anyone in need.
Given the situation we are all currently in, there is no gain in a solo effort, if we are to leave this place and find a new life for ourselves.
This why I am willing to offer my help.
Do not be shy and I do thank the tower for their time.

Comments

[iron_infidel]

[Long sigh.]

Wishing death upon others for being different is not the way.
How about you tell me about the other trolls in this place?

[Was this troll always going to be this irritable?]

[papshooshing]

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING WORDS INTO MY MOUTH.
THAT'S *SO* APPRECIATED.
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYONE SO FUCKING BAD THEN BOTHER THE OTHER KARKAT. THE CERULEAN ONE.
I ONLY CONTACTED YOU BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAD HEARD FROM YOU
BUT I GUESS, MUCH LIKE THE CONSISTENT SHIT HOLE THAT MY LIFE FALLS INTO
YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.

[iron_infidel]

Nice to meet you Karkat, I have met him and you are both equally irritable.
This constant problem of amnesia can be mended if you just explain to me what I am missing.
I am a good listener and while I cannot promise anything will come of it; it is possible that I will learn something new so that I may not be such a nuisance to you.

[papshooshing]

I THINK HIS IRRITABILITY JUST STEMS FROM HIS INNER DOUCHEBAG.
THAT IS A QUALITY THAT WE DO NOT SHARE, FOR I HAVE NOTHING BUT RAGE AND WRATH THAT BURN PERPETUALLY.
STUPIDITY FUELS IT AND THUS THERE IS NEVER A CRISIS CONCERNING THE MATTER.
THE THING IS, SIGNLESS
YOU WILL NEVER NOT BE A FUCKING NUISANCE TO ME.
FOR A WHILE I HAVE THOUGHT THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I WAS THE CANCER THAT FUCKED OVER OUR SESSION AND DESTROYED NOT ONE, BUT TWO UNIVERSES.
HOWEVER, SINCE MEETING YOU THE FIRST TIME AND VERIFYING THE GOD AWFUL MYTHS THAT THE HIGHBLOODS SPREAD AROUND
I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT YOU SHARE ADEQUATE BLAME FOR THIS MESS.
WHY?
YOU CAME FUCKING FIRST.

[iron_infidel]

There is no pride in blaming someone for your own actions, Karkat.
I do not see how coming first is valid reason for you bring the blame onto my shoulders.
We all have our faults and mistakes. Learn to take actions for them, grub.

[He was starting to get disappointed in this troll. He could come to a few conclusions based on the trolls words, however he did not know for certain and wasn't one to assume.]

[papshooshing]

ANY PRIDE I HAD WENT RIGHT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW AGES AGO.
CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, BUT I DID SAY *SHARE* DIDN'T I?
OH FUCK ME, I DID!!!!

[iron_infidel]

So our faults are that of equal blame.
I do not see how that is.

[papshooshing]

ADEQUATE DOESN'T MEAN EQUAL HERE.
I *KNOW* I FUCKED THINGS UP ROYALLY.
IT'S JUST THAT YOU FAILED SPECTACULARLY
AND IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOOFBEAST SHIT, THEN THERE WAS NO WAY I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ANYTHING LESS THAN A FAILURE TOO.

[iron_infidel]

I did not fail. I managed to gather many followers and extend friendships beyond that of blood color.
This is not a failure.
I am sorry that your outlook on the life you live is dark and dull like the text that you type in.
It is a grave disappointment.

[papshooshing]

SO HAD I, BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY THE POINT HERE.
OR AT LEAST I HAD ABOUT A HANDFUL BUT IN MY TIMELINE TWELVE IS NOW DOWN TO, LIKE, FIVE AND A FUCKING HALF.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE?
TO KNOW THAT WHAT WAS A RACE OF MILLIONS IS NOW DOWN TO FIVE TROLLS AND A HALF GHOST OF ONE?

[iron_infidel]

I am sorry to hear about such a misfortune. I am willing to listen if you wish to talk about it.
I can not offer much guidance but I will offer what I can.
Maybe your struggle was not in vain.
Surely there was something that came out of it?

[papshooshing]

NOTHING GOOD HAS COME FROM IT.
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING.

[iron_infidel]

That is unfortunate to hear that you think of your efforts as that.
However there are goods and bads to every tale and I do not believe that what you claim is all there is to tell./strong>

[papshooshing]

YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU THE PLAY BY PLAY?
THAT'S MOST CERTAINLY SOMETHING I CAN DO
THEN MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T BE TRYING TO TURN SHIT INTO A DIAMOND.

[iron_infidel]

Diamond?
Are you insinuating a pale quadrant is at play? I can assure you that is not the case.
I have no need for that. Merely I am trying to help you see that you are wrong in saying everything was for not.

[papshooshing]

WHAT? FUCK NO!
I MEANT THAT LITERALLY AS IN CARBON COMPRESSION!
DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY BECAUSE I AM SICKENLY PALE FOR MY *REAL* MOIRAIL.
EXCEPT THAT ANY HONKING HE MAKES STILL CREEPS ME THE FUCK OUT.

[iron_infidel]

I apologize, please continue with the play by play.
It is good to hear that you have a moirail or any quadrant for that matter.

[papshooshing]

HE'S PROBABLY THE ONLY GOOD THING IN MY LIFE, HONESTLY.
ANYWAY, DO YOU WANT ME TO START THIS GALLIVANTING TALE BEFORE OR AFTER EVERYONE ON ALTERNIA DIED?

[iron_infidel]

Pick where you wish to start, Karkat. I shall catch up.

[papshooshing]

YEAH, I DOUBT THAT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO CATCH UP.
THERE'S ONE CATCH TO THIS.
I'M NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY MULTITUDE OF FAILURES OVER AN OPEN NETWORK.

[iron_infidel]

I understand it would incite a crowed you might not wish to engage with.
You may switch this conversation to private to make yourself feel comfortable.