animus_network | First Specter; Text/Action

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First Specter; Text/Action

Text A;

I find it a little weird that I was supposedly saved from the apocalypse when the apocalypse already came and went several hours ago.
Little late to the party there, mysterious letter-writer.
But whatever.
Accidents happen, nobody is perfect, and by the way: you have horrible taste in accessories.
To be honest, I am slightly more concerned with the fact that I appear to be alive again.
So I am guessing that I was either lied to or some other, outside force interferred with the way things were supposed to go.
Because this place seems like a far cry from what I was promised.
Or perhaps this is

[Nope, changed his mind apparently, abrupt subject change is a-go!]

Dave, Rose, Jade, please let me know if you ended up here as well, hopefully the four of us together will be able to figure this shit out.
And if someone would be willing to give me a more in-depth low-down of this place, I would appreciate it.
The letter was informative and all but I think a first-hand account might be better in this case.
In addition, I seem to find myself in need of a blacksmith or anyone who deals with weapons repair.
Alternatively: the location of the nearest alchemiter.
It seems that our kind, anonmyous host decided to break my weapon and shove it into a trunk when they saved my life.
And I would really rather not be caught unarmed.

Oh, and one more thing.
If anyone happens to run across a larger-than-average, bipedal, yellow salamander, please let me know.
Losing functionality of my sylladex seems to have made me lose track of Cheryl again.

Action B;
[A short boy in a rather dark outfit can be found wandering around the dormitory levels. It seems that he doesn't want to stray too far and chance getting lost or losing terminal access in case somebody answers his questions. He's clearly looking for something, pausing at every nook and cranny and looking behind every terminal he passes. Fortunately, he refrains from trying to barge into anybody's room. The search for his ~~loving daughter~~ salamander hasn't gotten quite that desperate yet.]

[Won't it be sad when he finally realizes she isn't here?]

[Feel free to bother him, it's not like he has anything that's actually important to do right now.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

youre concerned that youre alive
what
is this a shitty timeline problem or what
whatever we can get back to that later
sup dude
about time you came back but let me give you the lowdown since ive been here long enough
seriously
i am the expert of how this place is a rotting piece of shit but were cover that information in person
also no alchemiters here
sucks to be you
i dont see why people dont enjoy the use of 1/2 kinds
theyre pretty fucking sweet and everyone should just catch on to the fad
itll make your life easier when your shit breaks
but where are you
itll probably be better if we just did this in person instead of assaulting you with page upon page of text
and i would hate to deny you the chance to listen to my velvety voice
youre typing kind of funny though
when did you decide to get all fancy shmancy with being actually literate

ikr thats what i said!
i already knew the apocalypse was coming and going, you dont have to tell me twice
fuck it was half my fault anyway rub it in my face why dont you >:|
ruuuude
...
wait a minute
john?
you get sick of your eyesore green or something?
rose probably wouldn't like you being all up in her color, ngl
actually you're typing a lot like rose it seems! :|

[This almost looks like his Dave's typing but...it's a little off. But he's fairly certain he knows who this is: the Dave his Dave is supposed to be.]

[Now...to tell this Dave who he is? Or to leave that for a surprise? Hmmm...]

If only it were broken in half.
Try four pieces.
Pretty shitty excuse for a polehammer, if you ask me.
Anyway, you could call it a shitty timeline problem, yes.
In fact, it's probably shittier than whatever it is you're thinking.
But that will be something else to save for in person.
It's kind of a long story.
I have no idea where I actually am, I just know that it basically looks like a hospital ward.

[No..John, it's a dorm. Not a hospital ward.]

[Look at your Dave, than to me, than back to your Dave, than back to me. Sadly, he isn't me. BUT HE COULD BE THE DAVE THE DAVE HE'S MEANT TO BE.]

hahaha omg
maybe you can throw the chunks at people
throwing kind or some shit
that would be a shitty weapon kind
youd have to keep finding new shit or something
ive been here long enough to see all sorts of shitty timeline problems
trust me its hard to surprise me at this point
im married to a snotty pretentious purple version of me for petes sake
no
youre in a dorm dude
everyone wakes up in their dorm room and bed
give me a number
come on
i swear it takes like looking at your door
versus me going through like four floors of dorms just to find you
im not too keen in randomly fucking around with the timeline here just to save time on finding your sorry ass

[Okay now...this one he's not so sure about. It can't be the Dave his Dave is supposed to be because he already talked to him. And even though they're typing like his Dave, his Dave would know that Rose actually types in purple, duh. So by process of elimination, this can only be Jade. But this is not his Jade, nor can it be the Jade his Jade is supposed to be.]

[What the actual fuck.]

And you're typing like Dave.
So it looks like neither of us is who the other expected.

[...And in that moment John began to realize that there was a chance that he understood precisely jack shit. So much for being the one with all the info and the know-how.]

...Right. Ok.
My room is 4-20, if I remember correctly.
I'll have to meet you back down there though because right now I am staring at door 5-17.

yeah that
yeah

[DAMNIT WHERE'S HER WITTY COMEBACKS]

ok no no wait i got this
im not dave strider or anything right
because apparently thats a thing
and im not jade harley either
which is also a thing?
im jade strider
the dave i know is dave lalonde and types in purple and is an overly pretentious fuckwad
the john i know is john harley and hes a secluded little spazz mo tron that types in bright green and may or may not be radioactive?
and also cant type for shit
so who are you? >:[

ugh
ok ill meet you at your room
youd get back before i would get there anyways
holy shit why are you so far
im on the first floor
you better be glad i love you bro
i dont just casually get my ass up and travel that far for just anyone
im pretty much the best bro you could ever ask
anyways dont expect a reply back because im gonna ollie outtie to your room

[And off he goes! Except he's a cheating mccheaterpants and can float up the staircase. Hah.]

[siiiiiigh. another day, another alternate version of the people she knows. Rose can almost feel the migraine getting ready to explode behind her eyes as she types.]

Surprisingly people can lie, even when they're writing letters. Great job on totally missing that conclusion on your first rundown, I'm sure it heralds more fantastic analysis from you in the future.

Not surprised about losing the weapon, though; this shithole is pretty fond of breaking everything they can get their hands on, whether it's attached to your body or not.

Jesus, just how bad do these alternate timeline mixups get?
The Jade I know is also a Strider, so you're good in that regard.
But she types in green and doesn't bother with any kind of punctuation whatsoever.
And if she's ever used an emote, it hasn't been while talking to me.
So, no offense, but you aren't the Jade I was hoping to hear from.
Just like I am not the John you were hoping to hear from.
Because my last name is definitely Lalonde, not Harley.
And last I checked, I wasn't radioactive.

[The red text...it never. fucking. ends.]

Did I miss the memo about red text or something?
Is that like the preferred text color of the loony tower?
Should I switch now and save myself the embarrassment?

[they're the best, just deal w/it]

Shit, did nobody tell you? You're supposed to switch to red if you want to avoid being splattered across the walls as punishment. This place loves red and isn't exactly picky about where it comes from.

But hey, who said you had to fall in line? Keep using the blue, I'm sure those great observation skills can keep you from being sliced up.

[Welp...this is going to be a little awkward. Sounds like Alpha Dave is really close to Alpha John. Maybe he should have said something, oh well too late.]

[Even not being gifted with cool floaty powers, it doesn't take John long to walk down one flight of stairs and and walk all the way down to his room at the end of the hallway.]

[And now the waiting game for his not!bro bro begins. He folds his arms in front of him, kind of rocking back and forth on his feet as he waits.]

Right, so another dumb question for you.
Are you actually going to be helpful at any point in time?

Just as soon as you prove worth helping. I'm not exactly holding my breath on that, but who knows? Miracles happen every day.

[Dave has gotten pretty good at knowing the layout of the tower, so it doesn't take him that long to find the room in question.

And it isn't hard for Dave to recognize John either. Just that...well that isn't John Egbert now is it? He's mixed between feeling incredibly disappointed and relieved. It doesn't show on his face though. He's been getting better at that too, but probably because he just tries ridiculously hard to poker face.]

So....[He kind of just drawls it out as he gathers his thoughts.] You obviously aren't a Strider. [Haha! A John Strider. Jesus, that would be all kinds of weird.] And I'm pretty sure if you were from an island, you wouldn't dress that way. I guess that explains why you type like you actually give a shit about being grammatically correct.

[He's feeling like this might be a really bad idea suddenly. Maybe he should stop trying to meet people in person.]

Are you one of those routine types who has to fold their towels a certain way and eat the same thing for breakfast every morning?
Random question, I know, but really it's the second part that I am interested in.
Because it seems like somebody pissed in your Wheaties this morning and frankly that's not a flavor I enjoy, so I would like to avoid it if at all possible.

Seriously though, if you're just going to be a jackass until I "prove myself," I am not going to bother answering you again after this.
I can think of better ways to spend my time.

Yes, that is exactly it! My favorite brand of oatmeal was poisonous this morning and that combined with the fact that I didn't get enough hugs as a child means that I'm going to take it out on you.

And not, you know, the more plausible idea that not everybody vomits rainbows when they receive the honor of talking with you.

But hey, if you don't want to get your next alternate universe sessionmate bingo tile and jump straight to the torture porn that abounds around here be my guest. Watching you assholes fuck up never gets old.

[He chuckles a little at that, face cracking into a small smile. It's hardly a signature Egbertian doofus smile but even with all the metal and rubber now adorning it and small though it is, it's still pretty blatantly John. So is the laugh.]

Well you're right about that. I am certainly not a Strider, nor am I a Harley. And obviously, I am not the Egbert that you expected.

[He feels a little bad about that, not that it's his fault but from the sounds of things, the real John isn't here. And it kind of sounds like Real John and Real Dave are even closer than their alternate selves are. Shit, maybe he can adapt this into a screenplay later...yes. Yes this is a good idea, it will be his best work yet! Oh wait, they were having a conversation weren't they?]

You took it better than I thought you would. Though I guess I shouldn't be surprised since you are apparently married to an alternate version of yourself.

uh oh.....
i sense more universe shenanigans!!!!

hi i am jade
though i am probably not the jade you were expecting!

Not exactly, no.
My Jade is a little less...bubbly.
So who are you then? Jade Harley or some other splintered timeline Jade who was...I don't know, raised by Rose's dad or something?
Or I guess technically he's my dad.
Or something.
Man, that doesn't get any less weird to think about.

yes!! he is your dad
but i am jade harley, it is very nice to meet you :)
our particular universe is john egbert - rose lalonde - jade harley - dave strider!!!
so are you....
john for real?
john lalonde with a blue text?

Edited 2012-08-01 00:29 (UTC)

[Jesus Christ, all you Johns are actually huge, enormous dorks aren't you? It's like Johns were just meant to be total losers.]

I never said I was expecting an Egbert.

[Dave just reasons that John was off back at home doing heroic things and being his usual heroic, stupid, lame self. Wow, he misses that idiot.]

I've been here for months. I've seen like four different Striders that isn't me and a purple pretentious Lalonde version of myself. I was due to meeting some different version of my best bro eventually. And look, the tower delivered. You can say it even blew my expectations out of this world. [That was so bad.]

[Pretty much. Comes with the territory of being John.]

You didn't have to say it. If you're Alpha Dave, Dave as he should be, then what other John would you be expecting?

Yes, I know how the lineup goes in your universe.
Or rather, how it's supposed to go.
It's not universe shenanigans at work here, but rather time shenanigans.
So I don't know about being John "for real," but I am John Lalonde. And I do type in blue.
Which I guess is surprising because you're the second Jade to comment on that fact now.
Does the Alpha version of me type in some other color?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

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First Specter; Text/Action

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