First Specter; Text/Action

[grislytragedian]

Text A;

I find it a little weird that I was supposedly saved from the apocalypse when the apocalypse already came and went several hours ago.
Little late to the party there, mysterious letter-writer.
But whatever.
Accidents happen, nobody is perfect, and by the way: you have horrible taste in accessories.
To be honest, I am slightly more concerned with the fact that I appear to be alive again.
So I am guessing that I was either lied to or some other, outside force interferred with the way things were supposed to go.
Because this place seems like a far cry from what I was promised.
Or perhaps this is

[Nope, changed his mind apparently, abrupt subject change is a-go!]

Dave, Rose, Jade, please let me know if you ended up here as well, hopefully the four of us together will be able to figure this shit out.
And if someone would be willing to give me a more in-depth low-down of this place, I would appreciate it.
The letter was informative and all but I think a first-hand account might be better in this case.
In addition, I seem to find myself in need of a blacksmith or anyone who deals with weapons repair.
Alternatively: the location of the nearest alchemiter.
It seems that our kind, anonmyous host decided to break my weapon and shove it into a trunk when they saved my life.
And I would really rather not be caught unarmed.

Oh, and one more thing.
If anyone happens to run across a larger-than-average, bipedal, yellow salamander, please let me know.
Losing functionality of my sylladex seems to have made me lose track of Cheryl again.

Action B;
[A short boy in a rather dark outfit can be found wandering around the dormitory levels. It seems that he doesn't want to stray too far and chance getting lost or losing terminal access in case somebody answers his questions. He's clearly looking for something, pausing at every nook and cranny and looking behind every terminal he passes. Fortunately, he refrains from trying to barge into anybody's room. The search for his loving daughter salamander hasn't gotten quite that desperate yet.]

[Won't it be sad when he finally realizes she isn't here?]

[Feel free to bother him, it's not like he has anything that's actually important to do right now.]

Comments

[knightime]

youre concerned that youre alive
what
is this a shitty timeline problem or what
whatever we can get back to that later
sup dude
about time you came back but let me give you the lowdown since ive been here long enough
seriously
i am the expert of how this place is a rotting piece of shit but were cover that information in person
also no alchemiters here
sucks to be you
i dont see why people dont enjoy the use of 1/2 kinds
theyre pretty fucking sweet and everyone should just catch on to the fad
itll make your life easier when your shit breaks
but where are you
itll probably be better if we just did this in person instead of assaulting you with page upon page of text
and i would hate to deny you the chance to listen to my velvety voice
youre typing kind of funny though
when did you decide to get all fancy shmancy with being actually literate

[grislytragedian]

[This almost looks like his Dave's typing but...it's a little off. But he's fairly certain he knows who this is: the Dave his Dave is supposed to be.]

[Now...to tell this Dave who he is? Or to leave that for a surprise? Hmmm...]

If only it were broken in half.
Try four pieces.
Pretty shitty excuse for a polehammer, if you ask me.
Anyway, you could call it a shitty timeline problem, yes.
In fact, it's probably shittier than whatever it is you're thinking.
But that will be something else to save for in person.
It's kind of a long story.
I have no idea where I actually am, I just know that it basically looks like a hospital ward.

[No..John, it's a dorm. Not a hospital ward.]

[knightime]

[Look at your Dave, than to me, than back to your Dave, than back to me. Sadly, he isn't me. BUT HE COULD BE THE DAVE THE DAVE HE'S MEANT TO BE.]

hahaha omg
maybe you can throw the chunks at people
throwing kind or some shit
that would be a shitty weapon kind
youd have to keep finding new shit or something
ive been here long enough to see all sorts of shitty timeline problems
trust me its hard to surprise me at this point
im married to a snotty pretentious purple version of me for petes sake
no
youre in a dorm dude
everyone wakes up in their dorm room and bed
give me a number
come on
i swear it takes like looking at your door
versus me going through like four floors of dorms just to find you
im not too keen in randomly fucking around with the timeline here just to save time on finding your sorry ass

text

[reddeadvirtuoso]

ikr thats what i said!
i already knew the apocalypse was coming and going, you dont have to tell me twice
fuck it was half my fault anyway rub it in my face why dont you >:|
ruuuude
...
wait a minute
john?
you get sick of your eyesore green or something?
rose probably wouldn't like you being all up in her color, ngl
actually you're typing a lot like rose it seems! :|

text

[grislytragedian]

[Okay now...this one he's not so sure about. It can't be the Dave his Dave is supposed to be because he already talked to him. And even though they're typing like his Dave, his Dave would know that Rose actually types in purple, duh. So by process of elimination, this can only be Jade. But this is not his Jade, nor can it be the Jade his Jade is supposed to be.]

[What the actual fuck.]

And you're typing like Dave.
So it looks like neither of us is who the other expected.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

yeah that
yeah

[DAMNIT WHERE'S HER WITTY COMEBACKS]

ok no no wait i got this
im not dave strider or anything right
because apparently thats a thing
and im not jade harley either
which is also a thing?
im jade strider
the dave i know is dave lalonde and types in purple and is an overly pretentious fuckwad
the john i know is john harley and hes a secluded little spazz mo tron that types in bright green and may or may not be radioactive?
and also cant type for shit
so who are you? >:[

text;

[restitchtime]

[siiiiiigh. another day, another alternate version of the people she knows. Rose can almost feel the migraine getting ready to explode behind her eyes as she types.]

Surprisingly people can lie, even when they're writing letters. Great job on totally missing that conclusion on your first rundown, I'm sure it heralds more fantastic analysis from you in the future.

Not surprised about losing the weapon, though; this shithole is pretty fond of breaking everything they can get their hands on, whether it's attached to your body or not.

text;

[grislytragedian]

[The red text...it never. fucking. ends.]

Did I miss the memo about red text or something?
Is that like the preferred text color of the loony tower?
Should I switch now and save myself the embarrassment?

text;

[restitchtime]

[they're the best, just deal w/it]

Shit, did nobody tell you? You're supposed to switch to red if you want to avoid being splattered across the walls as punishment. This place loves red and isn't exactly picky about where it comes from.

But hey, who said you had to fall in line? Keep using the blue, I'm sure those great observation skills can keep you from being sliced up.

[quarkylass]

uh oh.....
i sense more universe shenanigans!!!!

hi i am jade
though i am probably not the jade you were expecting!

[grislytragedian]

Not exactly, no.
My Jade is a little less...bubbly.
So who are you then? Jade Harley or some other splintered timeline Jade who was...I don't know, raised by Rose's dad or something?
Or I guess technically he's my dad.
Or something.
Man, that doesn't get any less weird to think about.

[quarkylass]

yes!! he is your dad
but i am jade harley, it is very nice to meet you :)
our particular universe is john egbert - rose lalonde - jade harley - dave strider!!!
so are you....
john for real?
john lalonde with a blue text?

[Text]

[alephbet]

Let me be the first one who doesn't halfway know you to reply. Hello there, welcome to the tower.

There are monsters out at night, and on the more dangerous floors. I don't suggest leaving your room after it goes dark. Your first meal has to be the oatmeal (everything else won't stay down) and you have to go to collar maintenance in the infirmary every so often (they'll knock you out if you don't go willingly).

I haven't seen a salamander but I'll look out for one.

[Text]

[grislytragedian]

Ah, monsters.
Wonderful.
Somehow I just having my hammer in pieces would be a bad thing.
I am guessing that by collar maintenance you are referring to this gaudy purple tube that won't come off.
If you don't mind another question, what exactly about it needs maintenance?
I haven't been able to get a very good look at it but it doesn't seem particularly advanced or complicated.

[Text]

[alephbet]

The fluid in it needs to be checked? I've heard that they keep us alive. Or something.

[Action B] For maximum derpitude. /casually breaks hiatus

[ocariness]

[ And then?

There was a small, blue, chicken-thing running down the corridor. It was clucking furiously.

... No further than a few paces behind it is Link, the ever-androgynous not-really-an-elf Hero of Time. Fully equipped, and--

Nope, missed it. The blue Cucco decides it would be a really COOL idea to hide under the Terminal John is presently occupying. ... Yeah. There are probably weirder things? ]

...

[ Cojiroooo no this wasn't supposed to work like this. Bad chicken. Link is suddenly realizing the Terminal is occupied, too. And staring. ]

Ah...

[Action B] hehehe

[grislytragedian]

[John glances down at the chicken, then up to Link, then back down to the no wait what the fuck back at the kid in green again. Is he really seeing what he thinks he's seeing?]

[Or is this some kind of cosplayer.]

[He points to the Cucco.]

Lose something?

[Action B] derpin' all the hurr

[ocariness]

[ ....... Yeah okay Link is pretty much thoroughly embarrassed at this point because w o w one, aren't they like, a licensed Cucco-catching-genius or something? Two, it had been over a bag of millet and then a Phantom. And three, Link distinctly recalls the time they'd arrived and Cojiro had stepped on a Terminal and they'd mistakenly both got over-excited, expected it to try to kill them, and they'd fired an arrow or ten into the poor machine until some guy came and fixed it.

Definitely not what needs to happen here. ]

... Oh.

[ .... Said tiny blue Cucco seems pretty content to hide under the Terminal near your feet, John. ]

I... suppose so.

[ It's the heat, you see. The Terminal is really just nice and warm... sigh. Okay, people. Speaking! They can do this. Spooked cucco. Just gotta calm it down and get it OUT. ]

I apologize for the inconvenience, but... would you mind moving so I might be able to retrieve him?

[tortileghostwriter]

[..well, that hope was deflated quickly. he scans over the other responses...]





oh for fucks sake

[grislytragedian]

Let me guess.
You're the purple Dave I keep hearing about.
Did an alternate John take a dump on your desk too or are you just sick of universal/temporal shenanigans?
Or perhaps none of the above, you're just invoking fuck's sake for some other reason.

text

[tortileghostwriter]

right in one and might i offer a thousand congratulations for your flawless deduction and the leap of faith it must have required to draw to a close
in regards to your other queries ill itemize my responses in the name of expediency
let it never be said that do not have the interests of my conversational partners at heart
what magnanimity
be grateful that im going this far
now let us cut to the chase
no i actually get on rather well with my john utterly bizarre as he is
im not ashamed to say that he is in fact one of my closest friends and his presence would make this damned hellhole of a tower a great deal easier to endure
as would the presence of the person who i thought you were for a brief moment thanks to your chosen mode of typing
so yes for that and innumerable other reasons
which i may go into if you like but i dont see why you would really its a rabbit hole that leads not to wonderland
no wonderland at all
i am absolutely beyond fed up with the aforementioned sort of shenanigans
even driven to the brink of madness on occasion
still i shudder to think of what being raised by my or i suppose our mother might have done to you
what a horrifying thought

[papshooshing]

SO MUCH FOR HOPING FOR A FACE I'D ACTUALLY *KNOW.*

[grislytragedian]

I seem to be pretty good at that.
But I promise it isn't intentional.
Though I could say the same thing, you know.
It feels like I have heard from every version of my friends except for the ones that are actually from my timeline.
So who are you then, grey text is a new one on me.

[Action!!!]

[pegeen]

[Kidou just happened to be walking by when he noticed a slightly familiar boy looking for something. Curiously, he approaches him.]

John? [That was strange... wasn't John sent back a few weeks ago?]

[Action!!!]

[grislytragedian]

[John-but-not-actually-that-John sighs. Ugh again? How many freaking alternates are running around in this-- oh you're not actually an alternate anybody are you?]

[Nope, now that he's looking at you, you are definitely not a Dave and you are certainly not a Rose or a Jade. And it should be pretty obvious that this John isn't exactly the same one who went home a few weeks ago. Unless that one had braces and dressed like a Saw-obsessed doofus too.]

Yes, but I am guessing not the John you were expecting. Because I have no idea who in the world you are.