.004 ♒ chronicAugustus began drowning in self-loathing. [Text]

[chronomancer]

...i Am Awware
that i havve not been particularly
Composed
lately
so i wwould like to Apologize to anyone wwhos gotten caught at the receivvin end a me bein a grubfuckin asshole
so
Sorry







...that includes you, vvan--karkat
i said a lot a shit i shouldnt havve

Comments

[chronomancer]

Um.

[AWKWARD. Oh god, please don't ask about it.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

By the way whatever you were talking about, I'd be fucking awesome at. It's the Strider lineage. Also I think there was something about fishes?

Does this mean you have a crush on Equius?

[chronomancer]

...did you just.

Ask me.

To have a feelings jam with you.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Yes?

[Sure let's go with that.]

[chronomancer]

[This sound? This is how you pronounce keysmash. Congratulations, we all needed to know that.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Dude, do you need an icepack or something?

[chronomancer]

...I need you to stop proving Karkat right.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

As much as I appreciate all efforts to make little boy blue wrong in every possible way,

What the fuck did I do?

[chronomancer]

Stop hitting on me.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

....

[what.]

Eri did you huff some of the wet paint from the tower reconstruction effort?

[chronomancer]

Not in your weird monoquadrant human way, Strider. You're dripping pale on me like it's going out of style, and I know you don't mean it that way anyway.

[This is the sound of very fang-like teeth being ground together unpleasantly.]

...so can you. Maybe. I don't know. Stop? It's awkward and you don't even know what it means and it's weird and you're validating Karkat's fucked up theory, which is always a good reason to stop doing something.

Please.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Monoquadrant sounds like some kind of physics equation.

You're right I have no idea what the fuck is going on. And frankly, I like myself too much to ask for an 8 hour lecture from ~Mr. Vantas~ there. All I'm trying to do is help a bro out. So I'm not really sure what you want me to "stop," but if you want me to stop helping you, that's definitely no happening.

I'll make some stupid bet with Karkat and make him lose later to make up for it.

[chronomancer]

I...

[Grind. Grind. Grind. He's gonna flatten his teeth at this rate.]

You're not helping. Not like this. You're doing this weird as shit pale thing right now, and I need a moirail, but I'm not going to take advantage and can we just add this to the pile of shit we're too fucking cool to talk about even though I think I burned out all my cool cred by going off the deep end last week?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

OH, that's it. The fish thing. Pale fish or something. I'll call it a Luvdisc or something. Embody all of your weird alien crap with Pokemon.

OK, but it's not taking advantage of anything if I'm offering, right? You basically said it yourself, lost all of your cool credit when you went hot-red batshit, so if I offer to be your Luvdisc instead of the other way around to keep your cool credit back in the positive, it's different. Right?

[chronomancer]

...oh god what.

[NOPE, BRAIN SHUT DOWN.]

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Luvdisc is the one that's shaped like a stupid pink heart.

[NOT THE POINT.]

[chronomancer]

...that is so not the point right now.

[Might be chuckling a bit hysterically.]

[caliginous]

[Singsong, because FIGURE A: JADE STRIDER.]

Eridaaaan~

Now that's not very polite.

[chronomancer]

You shut up, this is your fault.

[caliginous]

There's no fault, Ampora, only the truth that I've been trying to feed your pan for...what...an hour?

[chronomancer]

...I hate you like I've never hated anyone in my life before.

[caliginous]

Because I'm right, or because I'm just that devilishly handsome?

[chronomancer]

[ R E T C H I N G noises, because he just hit rock bottom when it comes to maturity levels and the ability to can.]

[caliginous]

[He doesn't even care because he saw that whole conversation up there and is literally dancing in the hallway.]

[chronomancer]

[Crankily.]

Are we done now? Are you happy? You did the Heart-y thing and somehow quadranted the shit out of me. Good job. Can we move on to something else now?