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[stalemates]

so the flashlight

did you turn it on?

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[stalemates]

i can totally help you with that! whatever you want, i'll make it! some kind of torch? or small bombs?

[oh man she is so excited, you have no idea]

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[doctor_dismemberment]

I like your sense of ingenuity, Fräulein! Come to think of it, I do have a couple of grenades on me... But perhaps we can find some way to make them even more deadly, wouldn't that be wonderful?

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[stalemates]

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!!!!

i know!

we can set up a trap! set a bunch of them up so when a door's opened or a zombie trips a wire or something, a whole bunch of them go off!

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[doctor_dismemberment]

Ah, that would be good! Unfortunately, I believe I only have two with me. Stupid box wouldn't give me more...

Though, I do know a way to make even a single explosion far more fun!

You wouldn't happen to know if there are any wind-up toys in this place, would you?

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[stalemates]

wind up toys? hmmm I don't think so, bu~ut, that's totally something I can make! what are you going to do with it?

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[doctor_dismemberment]

If you make one, I highly suggest wind-up monkeys. The kind that smash cymbals together and dance.

And have little hats.

But that is not the important part! What I will do is wire the monkeys so that when you wind them up, they will dance for a period of time to attract attention. Then, they will explode!

[He has to laugh and clap his hands IRL because he loves it so much.]

I've done it before, and it really is marvelous.

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[stalemates]

[why is he moe]

of course, it totally has to be the monkeys! toy soldiers are pretty good too, but the monkeys are the absolute best!

Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ that does sound great! omg! when can we do it?!

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[doctor_dismemberment]

[Because Richtofen is the kawaiiest.]

I've never tried it with toy soldiers before... Excellent!

I'm ready whenever you are. There is always time in my schedule for explosions.

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[stalemates]

mine too! we should do it at night 'cause there'll be more

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[doctor_dismemberment]

Yes, that would make sense. Their limbs will go flying everywhere... Oh, it will be just like home!

[Giggling out loud again. He totally doesn't look suspicious just laughing to himself at a terminal like that, what are you talking about, go away STOP LOOKING AT HIM.]

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[stalemates]

home must have been a lot of fun

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[doctor_dismemberment]

It was! Swathes of undead roaming the land, the sound of gunfire ringing through the air, blood dripping down mein face... It makes me all giddy just thinking about it.

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[stalemates]

that sounds like fun, i'm a little jealous

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[doctor_dismemberment]

Rest assured, it was fun. It was almost like a big game, but with people actually dying!

...You know, come to think of it, it wasn't too much different than this place. There are less disembodied voices sending monsters to fetch mein soul here, though. No weapons, either!

It makes me sad.

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[stalemates]

disembodied voices sending monsters to fetch your soul?

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[doctor_dismemberment]

Ugh, yes. There is - was, rather - a certain little brat back in my world who made it her mission to remove me from the world of the living, for some reason completely unknown to me! Always with the "Fetch me their souls" und the giggling und the giving the doctor bad weapons from the box, oh, it was terrible.

Ooh, I hate her.

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[stalemates]

i'll give the doctor good weapons from the box!!

i hope you killed that kid

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[doctor_dismemberment]

Thank you, Fräulein Lambda. Very much appreciated!

I haven't yet, but I intend to. Trust me, after all that she's done, I will not let her live.