1st - Voice

[ceasetoexist]

First off, let me just tell the wonderful people who brought me to this dump. No, really. Thanks a bunch. God knows there's nothing I'd want less than to be killed in some poorly defined cataclysm that you give just the barest evidence of! Because you know the whole screening room sure couldn't be faked! Still, think you could have found a better place to put the letter you gave me detailing all this, like up your butts.

Secondly, lay it on me. Just how bad is this place. I just got brought here from someplace like this - whole schtick that it was a better place to live than the alternative and I should be grateful and blah blah blah - so I kinda get the idea. I mean I guess I could be wrong and this could turn out to be some fantastic land of lollipops and fairies and lovey magical crap that just happens to have floors full of monsters, but I'm not getting my hopes up. So should I expect to have, like, my head chopped off and sewn onto some kind of guerrilla alien body once every week, or month, or what? What's the schedule for bullcrap around here like? Also don't bother to tell me about how you're working to get free, or how things are bad right now but we'll get over them or any crap like that. You don't win situations like this, you just survive them. So don't waste my time with any hope crap.

Finally, since we got crap from "home" to bring with us, did someone here manage to get a video game system and TV or something? I mean even a Game Boy. It feels like forever since I've even played Tetris or something and as great as pointlessly wandering monster filled floors are - I mean some of them are cool - I can only see the same horrific creature so many times before it gets passe.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

... Welp.

You in the market for a bodyguard?

[ceasetoexist]

Could be.

What's the catch?

[plushaeusrumpified]

I dunno, I'm feeling pretty goddamn generous. What kinda sweet loot you got in your trunk?

[ceasetoexist]

I've got crapola.

I can work with electronics and mechanical crap in fixing, programming, and building I and that's as far as I've got in services. If that isn't enough I'm willing to listen to other suggestions. For the moment. I'm a busy guy.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Hmm...

[He's quiet for a moment, as he mulls it over. Honestly, what he's offering isn't anything Bro needs right now, but he honestly can't think of anything offhand that he does particularly need.]

You know what? Why don't we work it out as an IOU thing and when I think of a way you can pay me back, we work something out. Deal? Because trust me, bro, you're gonna need a bodyguard. This place ain't pretty and I'm nice enough to not want more unnecessary death around here. I just ain't risking my life for no gain, either. In the end we both benefit from it.

[ceasetoexist]

[In a lot of ways, Pokey wants to tell Bro to buzz off. He's been through danger before and....well, he usually can't handle it, not alone, but his feelings of annoyance coupled with how shot his ego has become and the belief that anyone but him deserves protection makes seriously considering the offer hard.

Still. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to boss around, he's gotta admit. At least until it comes time to pay up.]

...Deal.

But I want at least a rough idea of what you want in the end by the end of the first month. I'm not crazy about being in debt and not knowing the fee.

[plushaeusrumpified]

That's fair. You've got yourself a deal yourself, man. I'd suggest we meet up and seal it with blood, but there's gonna be plenty of blood shed already, so no point in hurrying that along.

[ceasetoexist]

Yeesh c'mon. You make it sound like being kidnapped into some freaky tower could lead to something bad.

[plushaeusrumpified]

See, that's how you're gonna get through this in the end. Having a sense of humour about it's gonna get you further than having a body guard ever will.

[ceasetoexist]

Tell me about it. Just got done dealing with one hole like this place. Guess another can't kill me. ...Much more than the last one.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Well. I wanna say it's a good thing you have experience dealing with this kind of shit, but.

That'd be kinda disturbing.

But it really is a good thing.

Where are you from?

[ceasetoexist]

Mayfield.

It was a real treat.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Mayfield? As in Mayfield, New York? Seriously? I mean, I've heard some crazy shit about New York, but I didn't think it was that bad.

[ceasetoexist]

Dunno. Could be.

All they told us was that it was called Mayfield. Thing probably wasn't a real town to begin with.




I guess I'm originally from Onett, in Eagleland. But I kinda guess you've never heard of that, right?

[plushaeusrumpified]

I guess that doesn't sound like Mayfield. Maybe it was an imposter.

And... nah, can't say I've heard of that. Are you saying you were kidnapped from there and then brought to Mayfield? And then here?

[Christ, what an unfortunate life you lead.]

[ceasetoexist]

There's a stretch in between point A and point B there where I was wandering the stream of time and space but yeah. That's pretty much the gist of it.

[You don't know the half of it.

To be fair he brought most of it on himself. But you don't know the half of it.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Well if that doesn't sound suspiciously like a certain BBC show then I don't know what the hell does.

[ceasetoexist]

A what?

That like another internet thing or something?

[He has absolutely no idea about Earth culture the type of would be found on most worlds beyond what Mayfield showed him, and having come from '96 his knowledge of the internet is limited and has only been informed beyond what he knew by the people he met in Mayfield again.

The kid has no clue what the fuck you just said to him is the gist of what I'm getting at, Bro.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Well then. That certainly makes this a lot more difficult. It's always disappointing when references go over people's heads, but hey. He can deal with it.]

Uhh. Not really the internet, no. You ever heard of TV?

[ceasetoexist]

Of course I know what TV is! Don't be stupid!

[plushaeusrumpified]

Calm your tits, Jesus Christ. Anyway, it's a TV show. About a time traveling alien guy. What you said reminded me of him.

[ceasetoexist]

Well I've met aliens, but not time traveling ones. So I guess TV lied to you on that part.

Only a human has gotten to time travel so far. Go humanity.

[plushaeusrumpified]

No? It's fictional. Not all TV's about real life.

Who're you referring to? Because I know of a time traveler myself, actually. My bro.

[ceasetoexist]

Yeah, I know you massive jerkface.

I mean me.





But now that I mention it, I knew another kid my age who did the same thing, though he was from a different world than me. Or universe. Whatever.

Your last name isn't Strider, is it?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Yeah, it sure i-

[There's a pause as it suddenly hits him what was just said to him.]

Have you met a Dave Strider before coming here?