二夜 (Audio; Public)

[shikiller]

[Nanaya's gotten into a few fights since getting here. Obviously. However, though he very much appreciates getting do-overs if he finds a battle unsatisfying, he has to admit it also takes some of the fun out of it. It reminds him all too much of the time he left the world of the living. No fun in killing those who have passed away. No will to live in them. Though he still very much prefers going out and having his own kind of fun than genuinely interacting with the tower's other residents, even Nanaya can have a taste for variety now and then.]

Death's a funny thing. Every moment of fear and anxiety anyone has ever gone through is rooted, if not directly caused, by it. Every time you turn on the lights at night, and every time you decide to close your eyes and ignore something to live just another day, that's your thanatophobia at work.

[Subtle. Not like it's the first thing any blatant psychopath says in the comm. Then again, Nanaya doesn't much care about what people know or don't know about him here.]

If that really forms such a large part of us, then couldn't you say we're effectively half of our own selves just by being unable to be truly killed? How you round it up is your own business, but that's almost like not living at all.

Aa... Although, if you're going to consider yourself dead already, then you might as well consider this some sort of hell while you're at it.

[That made all kinds of nonsense, but as always, Nanaya's much more interested in the poetic beauty of the situation, rather than the actual facts. Worth noting, though, that this isn't some attempt at standing out or intimidating others. Nanaya's genuinely intrigued, and very much interested in what others have to say.]

Comments

[shikiller]

[No worries there. Nanaya's quite confident that nothing can kill his very desire to murder. He has not gone through his counterpart's realizations. He does not know the inevitability of death for everything, even personality traits.]

And yet, most people would prefer to die before that. Don't people fear death precisely because it would bring those things about?

[nottheonly]

Everything that has a beginning has an end. Sometimes, the journey is fun, but when you know that you're at an end, you should be able to accept that end. It's not always death that brings that end...but no matter what it is, you should have the courage to see the journey to its conclusion.

[Rei had died three times in the Tower. If they were permanent deaths, she would have accepted them. But even though she was brought back to life each time, she had no complaints. The reason was that none of those times were deaths that she truly wanted.]

[shikiller]

I find the courage to continue living just as important.

[Sounds shounen hero-y, as Nanaya is faintly amused by. However, the real reason he says this is because it's the only thing that makes people put up a fight.]

[nottheonly]

That really depends on how you live. And how you want to die. For one thing, dying as a hero protecting your friends is better than dying a monster that must be put down.

[shikiller]

Is that how you want to go? That's quite an ideal.

If your time comes and such an opportunity hasn't arisen, I'll be glad to help you out.

[nottheonly]

Yep! I think that's the best way to go out.

[She perks up a little. This sounds interesting.]

Help me? How so?

[shikiller]

How else? The only way to become a 'hero' is if a risk presents itself. Your dream death can only be obtained by putting other people in danger.

Yeah... I guess we're the same that way.

[terreifying]

[A moment of silence. Then she bursts out laughing.]

Silly! I wouldn't wish for people to get put in danger. But if they do get put in danger, and if I do end up trying to save them, and I do end up dying from that, then yes, it would be ideal death.