animus_network | Video post: Signless is having some doubts in his old age.

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Video post: Signless is having some doubts in his old age.

[It has been quite a while since he had come onto the network like this. It seemed that the days had come together into one brief moment. He knew that something was off deep within his gut but he chose to ignore it. He moves to click on the network feed and clears his throat before he begins to speak. His eyes are sunken and it appears as if sleep had been a last thought to him.]

I believe today marks the day of my 100th year here...no wait perhaps it is in nineties. It is hard to make sense of what is truth. I feel...the same as I had when I arrived. Here I thought age was supposed to change a person. While this holds some truth to it I am not sure if this tower has provided anything of value. Though it is only be expected when you consider just what is associated with this tower. I must say it is fortunate that I am not in the ground. That my age has not caught up with me. This I can conclude is probably due to the tower or simply that death will be soon upon me and my hopes, whats left of them, still remain.

I do not fear it. Death has been a constant visitor during my time here. Maybe it is best that it will come for me. I have not accomplished much during my stay here and given my future was only death, if I had returned home, perhaps it is to be. Considering such a situation, I feel as if hope is lost...my time has been useless within this tower. I could not come to protect those around me, or provide new hope for my friends and those who wished to follow my word. If it is to be and death is to be a visitor tonight, then I wish you well. If not I will continue to do what I can to assist you, even if you intend to detour it. I suppose it might be a miracle to some that a mutant has lived this long...heh what a load of hoofbeast shit. I was destined to die, never meant to be. I have always known this and chose to ignore it.

Nothing but words pour from my mouth and yet no one listens. It all ended in failure, here and back on Alternia. I.... I'm not sure what to do anymore.

[Any expression he had drops and slowly he turns his head away from the camera. Brows lowered and his frown was trapped in permanent doubt. ]

I am sorry for all of you.... Thank you for listening.

[With that he clicks off the feed for now, wishing to stare at the absence in the screen. Becoming lost within it.]

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I have told you before, have I not? The executor is not to pass judgment on his targets.

[Darkleer shrugs elegantly, though his voice is suspiciously clipped, as if he's making an effort to keep emotion at bay.]

I culled you. It was my duty and my orders, so I obeyed.

[There's a small pause.]

...and you have since convinced me I should not have.

[That...those words. He went silent and for a short moment, a simple second in time, there was visible shaking in his shoulders. It isn't long before he curbs what emotion he can and swallows the lump within his throat.

He opens his mouth to speak, but for once, very rare, Signless cannot find the words to speak.]

Edited 2013-01-18 06:09 (UTC)

Am I entitled now, to say you are being melodramatic?

[He's trying to make a joke out of it.]

Because it has come to my attention that there seems to be a temporal anomaly currently disrupting the Tower, and that might account for why you are acting like the world is ending when I know for a fact it is not.

[There's a pause.]

That and you do have one of these little crises of faith every fifty bloody years so it does kind of get silly after a while.

[Your humor is rather dry Darkleer.]

I am not sure if I can believe you, but I am willing to agree to disagree. Or rather the benefit of doubt. I can agree that the world is not ending, I feel a slight lift in my spirit.

[A beat.]

Do I? Have you record proof of this, I never knew you were so dedicated to my cause Darkleer.

[Wait hold that thought.]

Name. You have a name, I recall it, but I would rather hear it from you.

[Something odd crosses Darkleer's expression at the question, like Signless is taunting old demons of his.]

The name you recall and the name I was given in the caverns are one and the same. It is not the name I used most of my grubhood however.

[Yes, his name. He swallows hard. The name he took in the aftermath of his crime.]

You asked me this, once before. And you were surprised when I said Chiron, instead. And then you called me by name, a name no living creature knew to use, and I believed you and your dreams because of it.

[There goes another harsh swallow.]

Yes, I have a name. But not even I call myself Horuss anymore.

[Signless turns his position now, ever slightly so that he may reach a hand and place it upon Darkleer's shoulder. Or at least attempt to.]

It is the name that your birth granted you that I wish to call you by. You are not the only one who is shocked to be called by their hatching name. Do you wish to know mine?

[There's a long silence after that. It's an old wound, scarred over so many times to hold onto it is ridiculous. Darkleer let's out a soft sigh.]

You may tell me, if it pleases you to do it.

[He only smiles and comes to relax. His eyes shut for a moment and when they open he speaks.]

Kankri. Kankri Vantas.

[This is so hideously inappropriate, god. ~~Someone get him a towel.~~ In all honesty, he will be far more horrified about it in a couple days when he's back to his actual age without memories of centuries of Animus shenanigans wearing him down into something almost mellow.

After a long moment, Darkleer allows the corner of his lip to curl into the ghost of a smirk.]

You still have not answered, however, on whether I am entitled to call you melodramatic or not.

[He must laugh at that. The laugh was airy and filled with joy, a breath of fresh air considering.]

Only for special occasions may you. When it is appropriate, after all if what you say is true. The next 50 years I may need you to sit beside me again.

[Darkleer scoffs, though it lacks his usual meanspirited air.]

Very well.

[Have a supremely delicate flick to your forehead. If he didn't have the control he does, that could have easily sent Signless' head rolling away, but this is Darkleer after all. It's barely hard enough to be felt.]

You, Kankri Vantas, are being eminently silly and all together too melodramatic. I demand that you stop it.

[He only grins at the affection and moves so that he is now sitting in front of him, a wall of water behind him. His expression drop to a serious one as he calmly takes in the other's face. Taking a moment to get a good look at it. His hand reaching up to return the flick upon Darkleer's nose.]

And you Horuss Zahhak are being improper, off book and just endearing. I will only stop if you do.

Nonsense, your delusions are reaching a dangerous point, you're clearly imagining things.

[You wish you had a pokerface as good as his.]

[He don't need a poker face, he has a smile that warms peoples hearts.]

Am I? I do not think you are speaking truth anymore, dear Horrus. I know a thing or two about truths and can tell when there are none. Shall I add to my previous statement. Tinkerer, as well as considerate. With a few drops of sarcasm thrown in, makes a good ole friend, that goes my the rightful name of Horuss.

[Deadpan.]

...I take it back, I prefer you miserable and wallowing on self-deprecation.

[It's not like you're flustering him or anything. God, no. Stop. Stahp!]

[He sees right through it, though he does numb down his joy...a little bit.]

I do not, and for that I thank you for. While I do not believe that the years are as short as you say. I feel my hope coming back and you have shown me it. I never thought that your would say such a thing about my execution and as such, it has shown the light as it were.

[A pause.]

I cannot thank you enough.

[...he does not handle gratitude well. Especially emphatic, heartfelt gratitude. It makes him uncomfortable and awkward and pleased and ridiculous. He clears his throat almost demurely.]

...waiting fifty years before another episode like this would be an adequate expression of gratitude.

[Another smile comes to his lips.]

Then I will try and do just that. If that is all you ask of me, Horuss?

For now, at least.

[He can try to make that sound menacing, but really, who'll take it seriously now?]

[Again he moves, now coming to sit on the other side of him.]

Why...is it so easy to talk to you, now of all times? I haven't talked like this, so open, in so long. It is not usually something that comes easily.

[Darkleer doesn't comment about Signless' shift in seat, though he does look down at him with a risen eyebrow.]

I find it hard to believe, that you would have any difficulty talking about something.

I do. I am not one to speak about my problems to others, usually I have...a moirail for that. [He is silent for the moment.]

But, she is no longer here. It is unfortunate, but even before she managed to allow my hear to open to her charms, I was not open with my speech when it came to matters of my own misfortunes. I do not see a point in it or more so I do not wish to worry others with my problems. I would much rather help them, then have them offer assistance to me and my woes.

[Darkleer makes a thoughtful sound. He knows well who he's talking about, and it will be forever before he can speak of her freely, if at all.]

You hardly strike me as a troll that needs a pacifying influence in your life.

[Unlike certain people with staggering anger issues barely held in check with equally staggering amounts of self-control. Just sayin'.]

But it is true you have a tendency to speak of others rather than yourself.

A moirialegience isn't pacifying on both sides, but I'm assuming you knew this. She served as a listener and I for her. This was thw relationship we shared. Among other quadrants.

...mine have always been, by necessity.

[He shrugs absently. No, really. We're talking about staggering anger problems here.]

Diamond railroad anyone?

Re: Diamond railroad anyone?

Mwahahahahaha.

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