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[ou] feferi peixes

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[There's something off about Feferi when she gets on the network - when has she ever had good news to announce? - but it's not the blinding rage or crushing silence that had been there before. It's clear that she's been crying; the tear stains on her cheeks are all too telling. But when she speaks, her voice isn't as wavery as it could be, for someone who's been upset.]

...Eridan Ampora is no longer here. I checked, and there's a gravestone for him. There's not a whole lot more I can say, reely. What do you say when you grew up as close as you cod be with someone and then they were gone? Just like that. Yeah, I know, he was never the eelsiest perchson to get along with, and I know what happens further down my timeline back home. But this plaice changed even him. I wanted to believe that if we suddenly got taken back to that moment with our memories intact, somefin would have changed.

[She pauses, having only just realized she was tensing up so hard it hurt.]

I always said I wanted to make a betta world for everyguppy out there. And I still think...even with all the pain. Even if I know that bastard Jason would like nofin betta than to get me under the knife again this month, even with that crazy beach Ruana running this plaice...I still haven't lost hope.

There's something out there that's betta than this plaice. I know it. And I know we'll find it.

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Feferi...

I'll be okay. Reely. I...it's a shock, but I think it's the least bad out of the ones I've had lately, if that makes sense?

Ya sure 'bout that? I mean, I got time if ya wanna talk 'bout it.

I know. But I think...I think if these past few months have taught me anything, it's been that I can either break down when bad things happen, or I can just do my best to accept it and go on.

I'm sad, but to be honest, I think we were drifting apart. I think I'd been in a plaice emoceanally that he couldn't reach, so supporting me was hard for him. I spent more time making shore he was all right after a lot of the more recent stuff happened than he did making shore I was all right. It shouldn't work like that

Not that I think it's betta, but...I don't know. It hurts, but not as much as I would have ever expected it to hurt.

...I think I kinda get it. Sorta. You oughta have someone lookin' out for you as much as you're lookin' out for everyone else, and he wasn't really doin' it right, is that it?

That's it exactly. It was getting too one-sided, and things just can't work like that forever. It would have just wound up with feelings getting hurt.

For what it's worth, I think ya do a real good job of lookin' out for people. You're always real nice t' me, at least. So you oughta find somebody that'll have your back the same way.

[Frankenstein Gamzee at your service. He pops up on the feed with a stitched-up gash on his forehead and a placid smile on his painted face.]

Bitches fuckin' be booted up out this shindig every motherfuckin' day. Who all really fucking knows what be the haps after we go for always!?

[He laughs, eyes looking somewhere beyond the camera.]

Could be mother fucking paaaaaaaradise.

[As he stretches the word out, he raises his palms up in front of him, spreading them out and away from each other to signify an invisible banner.]

Or he could be dead.

[She's just going to ignore all of that and go straight to those stitches.]

...what the shell happened to you, Gamzee?

[His smile fades to a look of vague displeasure.]

Had some stuff fixed what's was broke.

With a row of stitches across your forehead. You don't possibubbly mean you asked someguppy here to go into your brainpan and mess with it, right? Please tell me you didn't do that, that you would have let one of us kelp you...

[He shrugged simply, and his tone was light.]

Ain't nothin' all what you motherfuckers be owing my ass. Ain't no sense delving nook-deep in squishy purple pan for not fucking nothing in the returns.

[He smirked, holding his hands up placatingly.]

'Sides, you really be knowing anythin' 'bout slicing up at a brother's nug?

I wasn't saying 'let one of us mess with your thinkpan'. I meant 'help you get through what was hurting you'. You weren't so far broken that we couldn't have reeled you back.

[He meant to scoff, but it came out as another laugh.]

Really, princess, you all gotta motherfuckin' get that savior complex checked the fuck out.

[Oh, the irony.]

"Ruana?" May I ask who this "Ruana" is? My apologies for sounding ignorant. I arrived just today. I know that's no excuse for not knowing anything, but still...

You don't sound ignorant at all. The only way to learn things like that is to ask.

We found out at the end of February that Ruana is the head administrator of the Tower. She's reely unpredictabubble, she likes playing games, and she can be all too cruel. I should warn you that this next part is not pretty.

The fact that she killed the administrator that was most sympathetic to the residents and then proceeded to...well, consume his corpse probably says all you need to know about her, though.

Thank you for your understanding

[Don't mind that pause, Feferi. She needs a moment. Hoo boy...]

She consumed his corpse? That's Beyond unconscionable

[wait one last thing-]

My name is Sajyou Ayaka. Thank you for telling me about her. I will be careful.

[TIME TO MAKE SURE HER DART RING IS CHARGED!]

No need to thank me. Everyguppy here was new once, and a lot of fins have changed, especially over the past two months or so.

[Feferi gets it. There's a reason she didn't link the video, even if it's there in the archives. In her opinion, it would be too overwhelming for someone who's only just gotten here to see something as awful as that.]

It reely is. She was after the powers that Dax had, but it's still no excuse to do something so awful. It's unforgivable.

I'm Feferi Peixes. If there's anyfin else I can answer about this plaice, or if you ever need help with anyfin, let minnow. I've been here almost a human year now, and I've seen a lot of things. I don't think anemoneone should go in unprepared.

I'm so sorry about Eridan.

It's...okay isn't the right word, but it's the best one I can think of right now. I'm not okay, not one hundred perchcent, but I will be. He wouldn't want me moping around the plaice.

Such a familiar song I've heard sung before. He may be back one day, perhaps he may even remember his time here, perhaps not...

Pleasant, though, to see you still intact, if saddened.

I'm not happy about it, but - as much as we were old friends, to be honest, we were drifting apart. If he comes back with his memories intact, then I can accept it, and if he doesn't, I can accept that, too.

Spent some time back home and missed some chaos, it seems like, but I'm still here.

In comparison to the visitors... I am unsure that any of the minimal chaos they seem to throw at us is truly that significant.

...

I met a few of your other kin. You're a ... colorful species. [Yes, that was on porpoise.]

[It didn't take Genda long to decide that a face-to-face conversation would be way better for Feferi right now, so he left after the first bit of her entry, off to find her.

And once he does, the first thing he does is wrap his arms around her shoulders. A close friend, leaving like that... it'd be like Kidou or Sakuma leaving, if it had been him.
He's not going to say anything either - not unless she wants to talk, of course.]

[Right now is one of those times she's really glad not to need words, at least not right away. Feferi's just glad that he's there and not still gone, too. She turns, hugging him close and listening to his heart beat for a few minutes.]

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