animus_network | (no subject)

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Why do we depend on others? And I don't mean for survival. I get that. Why... Do we need friends? Emotional attachment? I think I get it sometimes, but... I'm tired of being alone, but when I try to find people, that's how I almost always end up. A lot of people I've become close to have disappeared, and I only have a few I've known for a long time or been close to. I'm starting to wonder if emotional attachment is even worth it.

So really, why do we bring this hurt on ourselves?

[For those who want to seek out the boy, he's curled up in the library near the computers so he can check periodically. Otherwise, he'll only respond in text.]

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But I'll still be left behind in the end. And I don't know if I can take any more of that.

You don't know that for certain. There may be a chance that things will happen that way but there's also a chance that they won't.

I know it's hard. It's a terrible thing to be separated from a friend. But they're in your heart and you're in theirs. Memories can help you if you let them even if it's not the same. [She knows a thing or two about having to be satisfied with the shades of past moments, after all.]

I'm tired of taking chances when I still have so few people. Everyone keeps leaving, just like my parents did.

[Just like his parents-- oh man, Sora.]

Not everyone.

[Not her. Never her. There are others, too, she's sure--]

I understand why you're tired but

would you really want to never have met those people? The ones that left or the ones that are still here.

I don't know. Maybe? If I'd never met the people that left, then I wouldn't be hurting.

But you also wouldn't have been able to enjoy being with them either. You never would have known that happiness.

I guess.

But does it all matter when I'm still left behind and hurting? I had good memories of my parents, too. They still abandoned me.

That's something that you have to decide for yourself. I can't answer it for you.

But to me? It matters more than I know how to express.

[Or would, you know, if she could actually feel those feelings.]

Just because you lost them doesn't mean you'll lose everyone or that everyone will treat you the same way.

Maybe. I don't know. I really don't know anymore.

...Can you come find me? I'm in the library.

[--....]

[It would be nice to provide him with more stability than that, but--]

Of course. I'll be there soon.

See you in a few then

See you in a few.

[And, true to her word, it takes her no time at all to come looking for him in the library, nor is it any trouble for her to locate his heart and head toward it.]

[It's not like he's hiding himself. In fact, as soon as he spots her, he'll be walking over and just... Hugging her. No words said, just. He needs to touch someone right now.]

[She starts to slow as she sees him, not out of hesitation but because she realizes he's walking toward her, and her reflex is to stop. She doesn't accomplish it before he reaches her, but her arms have already started to raise of their own accord, despite that she doesn't consciously realize what's coming.]

[She finds out soon enough, though. After a startled moment... she wraps her arms around him in return, eyes shutting. No words needed. He can stay that way as long as he wishes.]

[He won't be letting go just yet, and in fact, he's probably crying very quietly. Poor kid doesn't know what to do anymore, but his first instinct is withdraw.]

[She holds him through it, gentle and unrelenting. Though she knows so little of this sort of thing, she at least thinks to try moving her hand slightly back and forth to rub his back, just a bit. There are things she could say, she thinks, but at least for the moment - she'll just let him let things out.]

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