animus_network | ☿ // 003; [video]

[Diarmuid doesn't respond at first. Instead, he allows himself to accept the chance Waver has given him to get all of his tears out. Once he's done, he doesn't step back right away, though. He just remains standing there with his head against Waver's shoulder.]

I broke once already and hurt those closest to me. I don't want to do it again. I can't do it again.

[He sighs and steps back so he can look Waver in the eyes.]

I am honestly surprised that I didn't have doubts before this. You know my luck with leaders who I put blind faith in. I will just stick to putting my faith in my friends and family. It's easier.

You can trust me. I know that's easier said than done, but I swear on my life I'll never turn my back on you.

...You said you were thankful I let you choose to help others of your own free will. I want to give you another choice now, and whatever you say is up to you: Will you fight this godforsaken place with me? If we only have a year left, will you help me raise hell for the administration before the end?

Edited (goddamn shift key) 2013-06-05 01:15 (UTC)

[Diarmuid is quite for several moments, though, honestly his answer is not really in doubt. He had made a promise to Waver after all. And he meant to keep it.

Every war has its leaders. Every rebellion its voice of inspiration. It is merely a matter of whose banner one followed. While Diarmuid might be fighting in a war that would benefit everyone in the tower and whose leaders he did not really know or trust, in the end he is fighting not for all of them, but those who are closest to him.

He's following the master of his choice for the first time in his life, not because of duty or expectation but because he wants to. And that master, is Waver. There will never be any doubt in that.

A smirk crosses his face as he opens his eyes.]

So then, we practice for taking down those fools at the Clock Tower back home?

That's more like it. [Waver took Diarmuid's hand, a smile crossing his face.] Of course, we're not going to violently overthrow the regime at the Clock Tower.

...Probably not, I mean.

Probably not.

[Diarmuid laughs.]

It would be better to beat them at their own game, don't you think? To knock them down a peg or two.

[And suddenly something seems to click in his mind.]

Ruana does love her games. I guess calling this a game might not be so wrong after all...

[Though, he's still not sure he likes it.]

Well, fate forbid I rule anything out from the start. If all else fails, you never know. [He waved a hand with a playfully dismissive sigh, turning serious as he continued.]

Magical politics are all just a long, drawn-out game of strategy. This is no different, aside from the substitution of politics with whatever the hell you'd call the administration's...activities. It's not reckless to think of it as a game if it is one you're playing to win at all costs.

And that's what I intend to do, naturally. No matter which tower I'm fighting, I'll play to the best of my skill and ability to whatever end. Whether we win or lose...whether we live or die by this little game's end, what matters at this moment is that we intend to do it together. Right?

Edited 2013-06-05 22:32 (UTC)

Of course, and it is a good thing too. I...am not good with that kind of strategy, Waver. Give me a battlefield, I can win it, but these thinking games usually just leave me confused. I don't know enough about how modern people think. I will need you to lead me there. You can do that, right?

[Diarmuid runs a hand though his hair and then laughs, a little embarrassed.]

Never mind, I know you can. You have been playing those games ever since the war, haven't you? This is your kind of fight.

[He pauses to rub the last of this tears from his eyes.]

I'm sorry about all of this. I thought I was doing okay, but in the end the sudden lost of control got to me as well. it just took me a little longer.

It's alright, Diarmuid. I can't blame you for losing it, least of all when I was doing the same thing not that long ago. It's times like this when you should be able to rely on me.

[Waver smirked, continuing with a tone of confidence.]

Leave the subterfuge and politics to me. That's what I'm used to, and in fact it's something I quite enjoy playing.

[A gentle smile crosses Diarmuid's face.]

Maybe you can try and teach me a bit when things aren't so dire. I would like to see if I can learn. Or at least understand a little better.

I'm not sure that kind of game would suit you very well. But if you'd like to learn, I can try to teach you.

I agree with you. I am too honest to play that kind of game for long.

[Indeed, just the thought of it makes him feel uncomfortable.]

But I would like to understand so I can at least try to help you instead of hinder you.

You'll be just fine. It's something of a subtle matter; words are just as deadly weapons as blades sometimes.

I was good friends with a bard. I know just how sharp and deadly words can be. You did not want to make Oisin angry. Honestly, I think he was the most deadly of us all because he could not just kill you physically, but he could destroy you mentally and see that your reputation died just as horribly as you did.

He tried to teach me a few tricks, but...

[Diarmuid laughs.]

Even he said I was too honest. Some things are just not to be.

I've read about him--seems like my kind of person, really.

[A shrug.]

I'll admit dishonesty leaves a terrible taste in my mouth. I do what I can not to lie outright, but not telling the entire truth is another matter entirely.

[Diarmuid tilts his head for a moment, obviously thinking about something and then shivers slightly.]

I don't know if I should be excited or terrified at the thought of you two meeting. I think you would get along frighteningly well...

That is part of my problem. While I am trying to see things less in black and white, I still do see them that way. You are either lying or you are not. That makes things much harder to deal with.

[Especially when Diarmuid ends up feeling so terrible each time he lies no matter now small the lie is.]

[Waver laughed, playfully tugging on those few wayward strands of Diarmuid's hair.]

You're too nice for this sort of thing. It requires practically living in a gray area of morality. I'm hardly a backstabbing tyrant or anything of the sort, but I'm certainly not a saint when it comes to things like this.

[Diarmuid can't help but laugh when Waver tugs on his hair.]

Hey, stop that! You never know. In this place, I might become evil of something if you pull too much of that out.

[He laughs again before falling more serious.]

You are right. I don't know how you manage to do it, but I don't really need to. I trust you to handle things.

I hope you're not too upset with me. I mean, associating with someone with such a morally questionable perspective? I'd be surprised if you could deal with it easily.

Back when I first lived, you would have been right, but now that I have seen so much and had to deal with Kayn-- with him, it's different.

[Diarmuid refuses to refer to Kayneth as his master anymore, even in the past tense, but it can still be hard to say the man's name at times.]

I may not choose such a path for myself, but I can see why others chose to walk it and that they walk it for different reasons. A great many do it to be malicious, but not all do. Some do it so that they can help those who would be hurt by the others who walk the same path.

...I'm not like him. Sure, I'm kind of a jerk when it comes to things like this, but I'll never be that bad. I don't have much of a choice in the matter--it's either play by their rules and do it well or never get anywhere at all.

Of course, you aren't like him! What are you thinking?

[Diarmuid reaches out and gently tugs on a strand of Waver's hair.]

I know full well how much you have had to change because of what you are doing. Thankfully, unlike the rest of them, you have refused to give up that part of you that is you deep down. That is why you will never be as bad as most of them are.

Ow--! What do you think you're doing?! [He lightly swatted Diarmuid's hand away from his hair, mockingly annoyed.]

I still don't think you're right, but there's really just no winning an argument with you.

Returning the favor?

[Diarmuid teasingly reaches toward Waver's hair again, but doesn't actually pull on it.]

Am I really such a terrifyingly able arguer? Or are you just being lazy?

You're just incredibly stubborn--and leave my hair alone, will you?!

And you are terribly sensitive about your hair.

[Diarmuid grins widely.]

Why is that?

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