Kariya Matou (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
vermicompost) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
animus_network2013-06-05 04:05 pm
vermicompost) wrote in animus_network2013-06-05 04:05 pm
♟ [video] ♟
I know what happened. Are you happy with yourselves? Doing things when you don't even know what you're doing, or why. Look what you did... there were people suffering, children crying. Do you know how much pain you caused? It isn't right. It isn't fair.
What gives you the right? You take other people's lives in your hands! Take their choices from them. Deciding whether we should live or die for us. Do you think that we want to die? I don't. While there's life, there still hope. We should keep on living, no matter what. We should always keep--
[After this brief speech, Kariya slumps, breathing heavily. His good eye widens, and the swollen veins in his face seem to pulse for a moment. The effort of speaking has obviously taken a lot out of him. The physical and mental shock of the worms returning has taken its toll on him. He looks as if he's having trouble standing upright at the terminal. A spasm of pain crosses his face. When he speaks again, his voice is weaker.]
I need a healer--is there someone who can help?
What gives you the right? You take other people's lives in your hands! Take their choices from them. Deciding whether we should live or die for us. Do you think that we want to die? I don't. While there's life, there still hope. We should keep on living, no matter what. We should always keep--
[After this brief speech, Kariya slumps, breathing heavily. His good eye widens, and the swollen veins in his face seem to pulse for a moment. The effort of speaking has obviously taken a lot out of him. The physical and mental shock of the worms returning has taken its toll on him. He looks as if he's having trouble standing upright at the terminal. A spasm of pain crosses his face. When he speaks again, his voice is weaker.]
I need a healer--is there someone who can help?
video
It could kill me, to take them out, but it's worth taking the chance. I know it doesn't really matter here, if we die.
I'll ask them. I can't find them right now. [He's confused, so he's not in the best state to go looking for people.]
Re: video
How about I go look for them for you?
video
[He doesn't know this for sure, but it sounds right. He feels resigned.]
You can do that. You don't have to trouble yourself, for me. I should be used to this. It's just--it was all gone. I never thought I'd feel that way again.
Re: video
[Lancer himself didn't have any problems like that, but between Kariya's worms and Diarmuid's spot, he's seen enough to know.]
Sorry. If I could make it stay away, I would.
video
I'd forgotten what it was like, not to be in any pain.
It's all right. There's nothing anyone can do about it. It was my choice, and I have to live with it.
change to action?
[And now he'll run off to look for healers. Unfortunately, he doesn't run into the right people, so when he goes over to Kariya's terminal, he's alone.]
action!
[By the time Lancer gets there, Kariya is sitting down, leaning back with his back against the wall.]
Hello, Lancer.
[He smiles up at him weakly.]
Re: action!
Hey. Sorry I couldn't find anybody. Did any healers answer that message of yours?
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Yes. I feel a bit better now. But it's hard. I wish they hadn't come back at all. It's foolish to wish something like that, I know. I knew what was going to happen when I made my choice. I knew things were going to be this way until I died.
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I might never go home and back to the War. [He looks down.] But I'm not sure if I can get rid of them. They're strong. It could kill me.
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[It seems a little insane. That worms made from illusions can actually kill a man. But when the glamour was on, they seemed to be as real as everything else.]
What about Rin? She's a Matou. Can she help?
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[He's not going to explain the different ways the worms can affect people, though--he's a man, and the worms are just going to eat him.]
She'd have already helped, if she could.
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[His hands clench into fists so hard that his fingers dig into his palm and draw blood. Rin had been so much healthier than Kariya had been. He hadn't thought of her body as being riddled with worms. Did this mean she had been hurting every time they had met? He's disgusted and angry with both Zouken, who had stuffed Kariya and Rin so full of worms, and himself for not noticing.]
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[He's silent for a moment.]
It's my fault. If I'd stepped up and become the heir like I was supposed to, Rin wouldn't be in this situation.
[Yes, he's just going to blame himself for the problems of other universes. But there was a Kariya in that world, too.]
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[He relaxes his posture and pats Kariya on the shoulder.]
You're the one trying to save her. It's Zouken's fault for sticking the worms in her.
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No, it is. I can't go easy on myself. I was a coward. It's Zouken's fault, too, but I should have known what would happen, that because I didn't accept my responsibility, someone else would have to suffer in my place. I left, without even thinking about that.
And it had to happen to the people I loved most. Sakura. Or Rin, in her world.
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[He trails off. It's hard to explain the Matou family to someone who isn't part of it.]
They're so cruel. They were always cruel to me. My father lives on other people's suffering. Even the Matou magecraft is vicious. I hated them. I didn't want to be like them, to cause suffering for other people. I couldn't--I couldn't become that person. I wouldn't have been myself at all anymore.
But I should have tried. If only I'd known.
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I don't care what happens to me, as long as they're safe. It doesn't matter, if I'm hurt, or if I cease to exist.
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How about you get yourself cured and then work hard from there? I'll help!