♟ [video] ♟

[vermicompost]

I know what happened. Are you happy with yourselves? Doing things when you don't even know what you're doing, or why. Look what you did... there were people suffering, children crying. Do you know how much pain you caused? It isn't right. It isn't fair.

What gives you the right? You take other people's lives in your hands! Take their choices from them. Deciding whether we should live or die for us. Do you think that we want to die? I don't. While there's life, there still hope. We should keep on living, no matter what. We should always keep--

[After this brief speech, Kariya slumps, breathing heavily. His good eye widens, and the swollen veins in his face seem to pulse for a moment. The effort of speaking has obviously taken a lot out of him. The physical and mental shock of the worms returning has taken its toll on him. He looks as if he's having trouble standing upright at the terminal. A spasm of pain crosses his face. When he speaks again, his voice is weaker.]

I need a healer--is there someone who can help?

Comments

[vermicompost]

I'm so sorry. I didn't know.

[Kariya can relate, to being ill. He knows very well what it's like to be on the verge of death, now.]

But--the Command Seals healed you somehow?

[His own hadn't done anything for him.]

[sicharia]

No, it's not like that. The Mage's Association— They wouldn't just let me die, of course.

[She laughs, the sound short and dry.]

They made sure I was healed. But, if Kirei were a Master instead of me...

[vermicompost]

So there was a cure, but no one healed you until you were useful to them?

[He scowls. Magi.]

That's typical.

Yes, if he were a Master, they wouldn't have cared.

[sicharia]

Mm, my body— It can't heal on its own. It had just deteriorated so much...

[She trails off. She smiles, though, even if the expression is rueful.]

Don't look like that. It's not worth getting upset about now.

[vermicompost]

[He nods. He can certainly relate to that. But he frowns. The Mage's Association--it reminds him of all his bitterness with that whole society, especially his family.]

I'm tired of the way they treat everyone like tools, basing everything on how useful people are, or how many Magic Circuits they have. It isn't right.

But you're right, that isn't the issue. [He knows that's not what they're talking about.] That still doesn't mean it's anything to do with you, if Kirei died.

[sicharia]

I didn't do enough for him.

[The words come immediately. She delivers the rest in a rush, too, once she begins. It's strange to say this out loud to someone, but once she starts, she has trouble stopping again.]

I never— Of course I never would have hurt him, like you said. But I didn't help him the way I should have. I couldn't—I couldn't make him happy. He took his own life, and I...

[She let him, too afraid to act. How could she believe his death wasn't her fault, then?]

[vermicompost]

[He took his own life? He wouldn't have expected that. Of course, priests are people just like anyone else, but it doesn't seem like something a priest would do, not that he knows very much about the religious life. Regardless, it's so sad. He must have been a very troubled man. Kariya can't imagine what drove him to such a point, but he wouldn't pry, and maybe, sometimes, no one knows why a person does that.

He can't imagine how Claudia must feel. He's never even been with someone, let alone lost them in such a tragic way.]

I'm very sorry.

Please, don't blame yourself. It's terrible, I know, whenever someone does that. It's very sad, but it isn't the fault of the people who love them. When someone does that, it's because they're very ill.

I'm sure you did all you could. You were very sick, too.

[sicharia]

I...

[Again, she wants to argue, but she doesn't. How can she explain without revealing the burden that brought Kirei so much turmoil? In the end, she just sighs. Maybe it's better off to leave it at that, rather than telling him that she wishes she had died in his place.]

I don't know. Maybe. [She leans, then, so that her weight rests against his side. She's conscious not to put too much pressure on him, and she straightens up again not long after.] Thank you, anyway.

[At the very least, she appreciates the sentiment.]