[Video/Action] Bittersweet the Bonds of the Heart

[oathshackledbird]

[Losing Mami, who he viewed as an adopted daughter, last month had been hard, but Diarmuid had worked his way through his grief by focusing on the happy times they had spent together.  However, when three more people he is close to are sent home--two of which he cares for like his own children--those happy memories become a source of pain instead of a route passed the grief.

When he appears on the Network, Diarmuid looks more lost and empty than he has in a long time.]

Usually, when I address everyone, I am asking for help on a project that will benefit the whole Tower.  Today, I am asking for help on a more personal level.

How does one handle losing a child?  Not just one, but several over a short period of time?  Nothing I try seems to work, and I am...

[His voice trails off here, shaking and uncertain.  A short time later, the feed ends.]

Action:

[After making his post, Diarmuid can be found wandering the Tower almost as if he hopes one of the floors might give him the answers he seeks.  There are some specific prompts below, but feel free to find him elsewhere.]

Room 4-16:

[A handmade wooden box sits on the bed next to Diarmuid.  Once it held chocolates, now it holds letters.  Several written in a childish hand are sitting on the top, but what Diarmuid is looking at is a pair of drawings that are usually set up near his bed on the nightstand.

He's not crying...  He's not...]

Floor 48 (The Graveyard):

[Rabbit would probably scold Diarmuid for singing what is suppose to be a funny song in such a sad voice, but it's hard to be happy when he is singing the song alone to the gravestone of the person who was suppose to be singing it with him.  He and Yotsuba had promised to get together to sing Rabbit's songs as a way of honoring their friend's memory...

Now that is never going to happen in any way other than this.]

Floor 3 (The Library):

[There is ink smudged on his cheek and his arm, but Diarmuid doesn't notice.  On the surface, he's focused on printing more copies of the Tower Guide to put out for those who might want them, but really he's in the Library for a very different reason.  Tohko was always here and it's like he feels spending time here will help him find her again--find that cheerful voice who had so often redirected him when he didn't know what to do next.  He almost expects to look up and see her there, smiling and ready to offer her help with what he's working on.

Unfortunately, no matter how long he waits, that will not happen.]

Floor 28 (The Music Room):

[Before even his brother, Labrys had been the first family Diarmuid had in this place.  Their bond created during the January experiment, afterward they had talked about learning to play an instrument together, but life in the Tower and his indecisiveness had kept them from doing so.  Now, as his hands run over the piano he had once heard her picking a tune out on, the sound of his grief blocks any music the instrument might make.

How is it that one who once lived his life with no regrets has so many of them now?]

Comments

.......WEH.

[falseidentity]

[Kachessa is silent for a moment. That... Ah.]

...I knew her. she... Helped me. Soon after I arrived.

[She won't say with what, but her eyes betray her. A makeshift grave, a little wooden cross a ways away.]

...You asked how to deal with the loss of a child. I... I can't give you any reassuring words. You've probably already heard it, but... You never stop hurting. It does get less all-consuming, but it will always hurt.

[If Dia will allow it, Kachessa will place a hand on his shoulder.]

...And it's all right to cry if you need it. I don't think... Anyone would judge you.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid doesn't move away from the touch. He's a person who uses touch himself quite often when he tries to comfort others and doesn't mind it when others use it on him. His eyes follow hers and somehow his expression manages to sadden more than it already is when he sees the grave.]

She is a very helpful girl always ready with a hand and a smile. It is why I hate the thought of her being alone on a dead world with no one to help and no one to ask her questions too. S-she won't understand. She will call for all of us and we...

[His voice breaks there and it's probably a good thing that Kachessa doesn't have a problem with him crying because his tears spill forth now. Diarmuid raises a hand to his mouth in an effort to silence his sobs, but it does little. Just as squeezing his eyes shut to try and stop his tears does little.]

[falseidentity]

[She can't do much for him. She can't offer words of comfort because there are none, not in a situation like this. It... Always hurts to lose a child. Like something has been ripped away to cause an open wound that won't ever stop bleeding. Time won't heal it, not completely.

All she can offer, if he won't push her away, is an embrace so he at least has a shoulder to cry on.]

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid accepts the embrace even though there is something in the back of his mind that says he shouldn't be burdening her with all of this when he doesn't even know her name. Yet, she understands. He doesn't need to know her name to know that and that is what he needs right now. He needs someone who understands what he can't quite put into words.

He cries into her shoulder for several minutes before finally managing to quiet his tears. Once he has, Diarmuid sits back and wipes at his eyes before giving her a tired smile.]

I'm sorry. This is...not the best way to meet.

[falseidentity]

There are worse ways to meet.

[Her own smile is tired as well. But she understands. Emotions and tears are draining. Losing someone is... Exhausting. Especially a child. The feeling that you failed them...]

...My name is Kachessa Crim. I am glad I was able to meet you, even if I can't offer real comfort.

[oathshackledbird]

I am Diarmuid Ua Duibhne. It is good to meet you, Lady Crim, though, I think you underestimate yourself.

[He reaches out to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze.]

You have been a great help and a great comfort. This pain... Part of why it is so hard to deal with is that I don't know how to put it into words completely. However, you have been there. You know how I am feeling without me needing to explain. That helps more than I can say.

...APPARENTLY DW DIDN'T SEND THE TAG.

[falseidentity]

Please, just call me Kachessa. And I am... Glad I was able to help, even a little.

[Her smile is still sad because this is... A very sad event. However, when this little exchange is done, she'll turn and bow to the grave--a polite gesture.]

...I'm not exactly religious. But I will still pray for them, Diarmuid. It's the lest I can do.

*huggles* No worries! It does that unfortunately from time to time. X.x

[oathshackledbird]

My thanks again, Kachessa. I don't know if I would say I am exactly the most religious either, since all of the gods I recognize have slept for a very long time, but the gesture is the important thing. I know she would appreciate it as I do.

[He turns to the stone, reaching forward to touch it gently before looking back at Kachessa.]

If there is ever anything I can do to aid you, please let me know. Even if it is something minor.

[falseidentity]

I'll be fine. But if I do need anything, I will ask.

[--And then she pauses. Well, actually.]

...Or, perhaps I do need help. All I have for a weapon is my Golden Key.

[oathshackledbird]

Weapons? I am no professional weaponsmith, but I can help with some things. Real things...

[Diarmuid gives her a curious look.]

What is a 'Golden Key?' It is not a weapon type I am familiar with, but if you explain, then I can do my best to find something close to it.

[falseidentity]

Ah. The problem with it is its size...

[She'll remove the key from under her shirt.]

...It was my wife's. It's... Saved us a few times.

[--Then, suddenly, the key is a knife.]

...But this is all I have for a weapon.

[oathshackledbird]

Wife's?

[Diarmuid is suddenly curious even if he probably shouldn't be asking about such a sensitive topic so soon after they have met. However, he has known women before who had to masquerade as men during their lives and as such, had a 'wife,' and he can't help but wonder if his another such case or if it something else entirely.

When she pulls out the weapon, Diarmuid holds out a hand.]

May I look at it closer? So you would like something larger? Like a sword perhaps?

[falseidentity]

Do you find it strange that I have a wife? I love her dearly.

[But she will, nonetheless, hand over the key--and it reverts to such once it's out of her hands. A curious thing.]

She was given it from a sorceress. When I was tasked with hunting down missing women, a sorceress approached me and gave it to me. A gift from her, apparently.

[oathshackledbird]

Not at all.

[Diarmuid answers her truthfully as he turns the key over in his hand.]

It is just that one of my friends is a woman who was forced to live as a man all her life. She had a wife as well. I guess I was curious if your situation was the same as hers or different.

So it is a magical weapon...one attuned to you it seems. Thank you for letting me see it.

[He holds the key back out to her.]

Does it have any other abilities?

[falseidentity]

It's less attuned and more... I was told how to use it. Concentrate, and it will change forms.

[But she'll take it back and put it back around her neck.]

As for Yufina... No, we were both in loveless marriages previous to our own. We're quite happy, though I did have to play at being a man.

[oathshackledbird]

As long as you found your happiness, that is all that matters. Sadly, my friend still is looking for hers. If she will ever find it is....

[Diarmuid shakes his head and then changes the topic back to weapons.]

So, you dislike the size of a knife. Would you prefer a sword? Of course, there are longer weapons if you are looking for more distance than even a sword would provide.

[falseidentity]

I hope she finds happiness, then.

[Now, though, she'll nod. Because, yes, a sword...]

That would be ideal. It's too easy to get hurt with how little distance there is between me and the monsters currently. I'd like to get some distance so I'm not being shredded.

[oathshackledbird]

Thank you. I hope she does as well. She has sacrificed a lot. It is time that sacrifice was rewarded.

[Diarmuid listens as she talks, nodding sightly in thought.]

A sword would be good, but if you are really worried about distance, have you considered using a spear?

[falseidentity]

A spear... No, I haven't. To tell the truth, I'd prefer archery, but I know arrows would quickly become a problem.

[Alas. She's always been a good archer.]

[oathshackledbird]

Another who wishes to use a bow. I seem to be finding them in droves all the sudden.

[Diarmuid laughs lightly.]

It is a shame I know so little about ranged weapons like that. However, if you can find yourself a bow and some arrows--or make them on the workshop floor--I do know someone who I can send you to for lessons. In the meantime, if you wish I can get you a sword and we can work with that.