[Video/Action] Bittersweet the Bonds of the Heart

[oathshackledbird]

[Losing Mami, who he viewed as an adopted daughter, last month had been hard, but Diarmuid had worked his way through his grief by focusing on the happy times they had spent together.  However, when three more people he is close to are sent home--two of which he cares for like his own children--those happy memories become a source of pain instead of a route passed the grief.

When he appears on the Network, Diarmuid looks more lost and empty than he has in a long time.]

Usually, when I address everyone, I am asking for help on a project that will benefit the whole Tower.  Today, I am asking for help on a more personal level.

How does one handle losing a child?  Not just one, but several over a short period of time?  Nothing I try seems to work, and I am...

[His voice trails off here, shaking and uncertain.  A short time later, the feed ends.]

Action:

[After making his post, Diarmuid can be found wandering the Tower almost as if he hopes one of the floors might give him the answers he seeks.  There are some specific prompts below, but feel free to find him elsewhere.]

Room 4-16:

[A handmade wooden box sits on the bed next to Diarmuid.  Once it held chocolates, now it holds letters.  Several written in a childish hand are sitting on the top, but what Diarmuid is looking at is a pair of drawings that are usually set up near his bed on the nightstand.

He's not crying...  He's not...]

Floor 48 (The Graveyard):

[Rabbit would probably scold Diarmuid for singing what is suppose to be a funny song in such a sad voice, but it's hard to be happy when he is singing the song alone to the gravestone of the person who was suppose to be singing it with him.  He and Yotsuba had promised to get together to sing Rabbit's songs as a way of honoring their friend's memory...

Now that is never going to happen in any way other than this.]

Floor 3 (The Library):

[There is ink smudged on his cheek and his arm, but Diarmuid doesn't notice.  On the surface, he's focused on printing more copies of the Tower Guide to put out for those who might want them, but really he's in the Library for a very different reason.  Tohko was always here and it's like he feels spending time here will help him find her again--find that cheerful voice who had so often redirected him when he didn't know what to do next.  He almost expects to look up and see her there, smiling and ready to offer her help with what he's working on.

Unfortunately, no matter how long he waits, that will not happen.]

Floor 28 (The Music Room):

[Before even his brother, Labrys had been the first family Diarmuid had in this place.  Their bond created during the January experiment, afterward they had talked about learning to play an instrument together, but life in the Tower and his indecisiveness had kept them from doing so.  Now, as his hands run over the piano he had once heard her picking a tune out on, the sound of his grief blocks any music the instrument might make.

How is it that one who once lived his life with no regrets has so many of them now?]

Comments

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid's eyes fall shut.]

Edgeworth...we don't have time...

[frilliance]

[Ah. Did he interfere too much?]....Perhaps I've overstepped my boundaries. I apologize. [After all, Edgeworth's got no reason to involve himself in Diarmuid's personal affairs without a really good reason - eg. Diarmuid hiding something is stopping everyone from coming closer to the truth about the tower.]

[oathshackledbird]

No, no. You've done nothing wrong.

[Diarmuid sighs, setting down the papers in his hands and motioning for Edgeworth to follow him to a nearby table to sit down.]

I...am just not sure what to say. I've never experienced loss like this before. Everyone says, just give yourself time, but time is short here and to be honest, just thinking isn't getting me anywhere. Maybe if I could better express how I am feeling, but I can't.

[frilliance]

[Edgeworth follows him although he does not sit down just yet.]

I see......[He sighs.] Unfortunately, I cannot give you an answer there. You will have to find it for yourself. Nobody is going to blame you if it takes a long while [Says the guy who still works his arse off during Christmas because it reminds him of DL-6 and therefore makes him really moody and depressed. AND berates himself for being moody and depressed.].

[oathshackledbird]

It's okay. It is as you say. These are answers I really need to find myself. I guess...my emotions got the best of me. That is why I made the post to the Network that I did, and why I am here working myself so hard.

[Diarmuid runs a hand through his hair and then gives Edgeworth a guilty smile.]

I always tell people to be strong and control themselves. This time I let my fear control me.

[frilliance]

[Sigh.] We are still searching for the truth about the tower and discovering what results come from that. That is the least we can do for those who have gone.

[oathshackledbird]

The least...

[Diarmuid shakes his head.]

The least is the last thing I want to do. It is why I always feel like I should be doing more, why it never feels like it's enough.

[frilliance]

Perhaps I should rephrase my statement; We can look for the truth and grab every fragment of it we can find. Those are things that we know we can do at present.

If 'doing more' were that easy, we would all have escaped this miserable tower months ago.

[oathshackledbird]

I know.

[Diarmuid sighs and raises a hand to rub at his forehead.]

It just seems like lately nothing is happening fast enough. Before, I was okay just moving forward as we were no matter how slow because progress was progress. Now, that has changed and I don't know why.

[Sure he does, but Diarmuid isn't about to admit that the longer they are here the more chance there is for Waver to be sent home, and for all of his hopes to be crushed to ashes as they have been so often in the past.]

[frilliance]

[Luckily for you, Diarmuid, Edgeworth doesn't come to that conclusion.] ....It is understandable that you feel that way, Diarmuid. As I've said, you have just suffered a great loss.

[He'd like to make the guy feel better but HOW DOES I CHEER SOMEONE UP?]

[oathshackledbird]

Yes...

[He doesn't sound very convinced, but part of that is because he knows he is being too hard on himself again. However, that's something else Diarmuid isn't going to talk about just because he can guess what Edgeworth will say.

Why should Diarmuid be surprised to be called a fool when he knows that is what he is being?]

[frilliance]

....

Is there anything I can do to help? Perhaps you would like assistance with that printing?

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid seems to think on this for several moments before shaking his head and giving Edgeworth a weak smile.]

No. Not unless you would like to drop some of the copies I have printed off in the cafeteria and the 4th floor lounge. I can do that just as easily, though. I have a few other places I want to stop today. It might be time to switch gears. Maybe a change of scenery will help clear my mind.

Not late for this. No way.

[frilliance]

Perhaps it will.

Either way, I am willing to lend you a hand if it helps ease your mind a little but I am not going to coerce you into letting me help.

*pats*

[oathshackledbird]

Thank you. I do appreciate it.

[Diarmuid gets up and gathers a stack of papers from near the press.]

Do you mind dropping these off? I think I will take that change of scenery.

Re: *pats*

[frilliance]

Very well. [And he holds out his hand to receive any papers that Dia gives him.]

I am ready when you are.

[oathshackledbird]

Actually, feel free to go ahead.

[Diarmuid motions toward the press.]

There are just a few things I need to do to make this ready for whoever might wish to use it next. I don't like leaving it dirty. It is too valuable of a tool to us not to take good care of.

[frilliance]

It's all right. I can help you with that as well if you wish. [He doesn't want to push Dia - Dia is a big boy who can take care of himself - Edgeworth at least makes the offer, though.]

[oathshackledbird]

I would...prefer to do it alone please.

[Diarmuid gives him a grateful, though stern look.]

I realize what you are trying to do, but...

[He lets the sentence trail off hoping Edgeworth will get the message.]

Aaaaand thread end. Hooray!

[frilliance]

[Thankfully, he does.] Very well. [And, with the leaflets, he heads out of the room and down the stairs, ready to drop the leaflets on the first floor and deliver them to anybody who passes by and needs one.

He's not going to interfere but hopefully Diarmuid will be all right.]