[Video/Action] Bittersweet the Bonds of the Heart

[oathshackledbird]

[Losing Mami, who he viewed as an adopted daughter, last month had been hard, but Diarmuid had worked his way through his grief by focusing on the happy times they had spent together.  However, when three more people he is close to are sent home--two of which he cares for like his own children--those happy memories become a source of pain instead of a route passed the grief.

When he appears on the Network, Diarmuid looks more lost and empty than he has in a long time.]

Usually, when I address everyone, I am asking for help on a project that will benefit the whole Tower.  Today, I am asking for help on a more personal level.

How does one handle losing a child?  Not just one, but several over a short period of time?  Nothing I try seems to work, and I am...

[His voice trails off here, shaking and uncertain.  A short time later, the feed ends.]

Action:

[After making his post, Diarmuid can be found wandering the Tower almost as if he hopes one of the floors might give him the answers he seeks.  There are some specific prompts below, but feel free to find him elsewhere.]

Room 4-16:

[A handmade wooden box sits on the bed next to Diarmuid.  Once it held chocolates, now it holds letters.  Several written in a childish hand are sitting on the top, but what Diarmuid is looking at is a pair of drawings that are usually set up near his bed on the nightstand.

He's not crying...  He's not...]

Floor 48 (The Graveyard):

[Rabbit would probably scold Diarmuid for singing what is suppose to be a funny song in such a sad voice, but it's hard to be happy when he is singing the song alone to the gravestone of the person who was suppose to be singing it with him.  He and Yotsuba had promised to get together to sing Rabbit's songs as a way of honoring their friend's memory...

Now that is never going to happen in any way other than this.]

Floor 3 (The Library):

[There is ink smudged on his cheek and his arm, but Diarmuid doesn't notice.  On the surface, he's focused on printing more copies of the Tower Guide to put out for those who might want them, but really he's in the Library for a very different reason.  Tohko was always here and it's like he feels spending time here will help him find her again--find that cheerful voice who had so often redirected him when he didn't know what to do next.  He almost expects to look up and see her there, smiling and ready to offer her help with what he's working on.

Unfortunately, no matter how long he waits, that will not happen.]

Floor 28 (The Music Room):

[Before even his brother, Labrys had been the first family Diarmuid had in this place.  Their bond created during the January experiment, afterward they had talked about learning to play an instrument together, but life in the Tower and his indecisiveness had kept them from doing so.  Now, as his hands run over the piano he had once heard her picking a tune out on, the sound of his grief blocks any music the instrument might make.

How is it that one who once lived his life with no regrets has so many of them now?]

Comments

[oathshackledbird]

Ah...a good kind of unsteady.

[Diarmuid gently pulls Waver's head toward his shoulder so the man can rest it there if he would like.]

Someday, we will get you more used to it. I promise.

[fionnuisce]

[Waver leaned his head on Diarmuid's shoulder, arms dropping to wrap around the knight's waist.]

Diarmuid, I-... [Faltering, he trailed off before trying again.] ...you're of vital importance to me. No matter what happens, I want you to remember that.

[oathshackledbird]

I will. I promise. I just hope...

[Diarmuid pauses, his voice suddenly sounding unsteady. To cover for it, he leans forward to press a light kiss to Waver's forehead.]

You mean the same to me. I don't lie when I tell people I love them. No matter what happens, don't ever forget that or that I am proud of you.

[fionnuisce]

I know, Diarmuid. Hopefully we won't be going anywhere, but if one of us does...I just wanted to be sure that was clear.

[oathshackledbird]

It is. I just get scared when I think about it. I don't ever want to forget you, but if I have to go back to my world...

[If he is sent home, he will return to the Grail and he will be forced to forget everything. Even if Diarmuid wants to believe some things can't ever be forgotten, deep down he is scared that the power of the Throne of Heroes is much greater than any wish or hope he could ever have.]

[fionnuisce]

I know, Diarmuid. But I won't let that happen if I can help it. You don't want to be alone any more than I do, right?

[oathshackledbird]

Right.

[And if his answer isn't proof enough, the tight squeeze he gives Waver should be.]

I know I say all the time that people are stronger when they are together, but when it comes to us I think that is especially true.

[After all they have both been through, there is just something between the two of them that helps to balance out all of the bad that has happened. At least, that is how it feels to Diarmuid.]

[fionnuisce]

We're just exceptional like that. You and I are a perfect team of walking complexes and trauma.

[oathshackledbird]

[Diarmuid laughs gently.]

We are a perfect pair of somethings. What I don't know, but I don't really mind the mystery.

[fionnuisce]

You love it all the same, I'm sure.

[oathshackledbird]

I do. I'm not even going to deny it. People have called me perfect at times. I don't agree with them...except in this. This is perfect even if we struggle at times. That just makes it more real.

[fionnuisce]

Any kind of relationship that's actually perfect would be bland, really. The faltering and uncertainties of it make things much more interesting.

[oathshackledbird]

Remember that the next time you doubt how well you are doing in all of this, okay Mo Stór?

[fionnuisce]

And I'll ask you to remember when next you're not feeling like you're good enough. Fair?

[oathshackledbird]

Completely fair.

[Diarmuid smiles at Waver.]

I'm trying to work on that anyway. My friends and family get upset when I think so little of myself.