shoosh: (pic#1048147)
karkat vantas ([personal profile] shoosh) wrote in [community profile] animus_network2012-02-06 04:14 pm
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00:01

OKAY.
FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW HOW THESE GO. IN A STUNNING EXAMPLE OF WHAT SEEMS TO BE A CLEAR LACK OF INTELLIGENCE, I ACTUALLY READ THROUGH THIS INANE PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE I STARTED TYPING.
I DON’T NEED YOUR WITTY BANTER AND USELESS INFORMATION SO KNOCK IT OFF IN ADVANCE.
THE REASON WHY I’M BOTHERING WITH THIS FESTERING COLLECTION OF HIGHLY DISTASTEFUL HISTRIONICS AT ALL IS FOR ONE REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY:
I’M GOING TO TEACH ALL YOU BLATHERING NUTJOBS ABOUT THE `NOT OKAY SYSTEM`.
THIS IS A HIGHLY CHERISHED SYSTEM AND I DIDN’T MAKE IT UP THIS SECOND, SHUT YOUR PUZZLE TRAP AND FUCK OFF.
BY FUCK OFF I MEAN SIT DOWN AND LISTEN BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT AND HIGHLY RELEVANT WHEN YOU'RE GOING AROUND SNATCHING PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR UNIVERSES WHEN THEY'VE GOT IMPORTANT SHIT TO DO.
`DESTROYED` ISN'T SOMETHING THAT JUST HAPPENS TO ENTIRE UNIVERSES, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.
THE `NOT OKAY SYSTEM` IS A ONE TO TEN SCALE OF HOW OKAY YOU ARE WITH A CERTAIN SITUATION.
THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH INFORMATION ALREADY, BUT I KNOW THAT A VAST MAJORITY OF YOU ARE HAPLESS, BRAINLESS, FLESHY PINK HUMAN MEATBAGS, SO I’LL ELABORATE.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
THE SCALE IS SIMPLE ENOUGH, WHERE YOU GAUGE HOW `OKAY` YOU ARE WITH A CERTAIN SITUATION USING ONE DIGIT NUMBERS, A CONCEPT THAT EVEN THE MOST INTELLIGENCE-CHALLENGED INDIVIDUAL CAN UNDERSTAND.
ONE IS THE LOWEST END OF THE SCALE, TEN IS THE HIGHEST.
THAT NEEDED CLARIFICATION.
AGAIN, YOU’RE WELCOME.
FOR EXAMPLE, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU NEANDERTHRASHING FUCKSPONGES WILL NEED ONE, I WILL RATE THE SITUATION I’M IN RIGHT NOW USING THE NOT OKAY SCALE.
THAT SITUATION BEING, OF COURSE, THAT I’VE BEEN MERCILESSLY RIPPED OUT OF MY UNIVERSE AND THEREFORE STRIPPED OF MY IMPORTANT LEADER DUTIES.
JUST IN CASE YOU’D FORGOTTEN.
RATING MYSELF ON A ONE TO TEN SCALE, WITH ONE BEING DELIGHTFULLY CONTENT LIKE A BUCKTOOTHED IDIOT DANCING NAKED IN THE RAIN AND TEN BEING PSYCHO JUGGALO ASSHOLE SUDDENLY GETTING A WICKED THIRST FOR THE KILLS
I WOULD BE AROUND A 6.
MIDWAY UP THE SCALE, DECIDEDLY NOT OKAY BUT NOT BEING AN OBNOXIOUS BULGEREEK ABOUT IT.
HAD I NOT HAD THE MENTAL CAPACITY, AS I KNOW MOST OF YOU DON’T, TO FLIP THROUGH THIS BOOK FIRST, I WOULD BE TWELVE OR THIRTEEN ON THE SCALE.
IT’S MY SCALE I CAN GO HIGHER THAN THE LIMIT IF I WANT TO, FUCK OFF.
THIRTEEN WOULD BE PEELING OFF ALL MY SKIN, FILING DOWN MY HORNS AND GOING ON A BLEARY AND CONFUSED MURDER SPREE.
I WAS FEELING MAGNANIMOUS WITH MY BRAIN POWER AND SAVED YOU ALL THE TROUBLE OF DEALING WITH THAT.
THIS MEMO HAS ALMOST REACHED ITS CONCLUSION, BUT BEFORE I LEAVE YOU DUMBFUCKS BACK TO YOUR IGNORANCE BUBBLES, I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE CLARIFIED:
THIS IS NOT ME BEING OBNOXIOUS AND TELLING YOU HOW TO ACCURATELY GAUGE YOUR LIFE WITH MY SPARKLING PERSONALITY AND ENDLESS INTELLECT
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MEMO CONTAINING A PRICELESS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE INANE AND THE IDIOTIC.
(THAT’S YOU.)
benigncancer: (I'm the troll)

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-02-06 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
NO, I'M NOT ANOTHER KARKAT, KID.
I'M YOUR ANCESTOR, THE SIGNLESS.
SOMETIMES ALSO CALLED THE SUFFERER, BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY MY FAVOURITE THING, SO WE CAN JUST FORGET THAT PART.
benigncancer: (Captured)

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-02-09 03:38 pm (UTC)(link)
NO, SORRY, IT WASN'T A DODGE.
I ASSUMED THAT YOU'D KNOW THE STORY, SINCE A LOT OF THE TROLLS AROUND HERE, SEEM TO.
DO YOU WANT THE LONG VERSION, OR THE SHORT VERSION?
THE SHORT VERSION IS THAT I STARTED A REVOLUTION, SORT OF BY EXISTING, AND THE HIGHBLOODS STRUNG ME UP AND PUT ME TO THE IRONS.
IT PROBABLY WASN'T PLEASANT TO WATCH AND THOUGH I HAVEN'T YET EXPERIENCED IT, I'M WILLING TO BET MY RIGHT SHAME GLOBE THAT IT WAS EVEN LESS PLEASANT TO LIVE THROUGH.
HENCE THE 'SUFFERER'.
benigncancer: (Defiant)

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-02-15 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
ARE YOU SURE?
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO SUPPRESS THE INFORMATION THAT I EVER EXISTED.
BUT THERE ARE STILL FOLLOWERS, EVEN IN YOUR TIME, I THINK.
DID YOU HAVE A LUSUS, KARKAT?
DO YOU HAVE A SYMBOL?
benigncancer: (Worried)

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-02-16 04:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I DIDN'T.
BECAUSE OF MY BLOOD.
NO TROLL WITH MY BLOOD - AND YOURS - HAD EVER BEEN BORN BEFORE.
I SUSPECT THAT FOLLOWERS OF MINE BRED A LUSUS, AND ADOPTED A SYMBOL, TO PREPARE FOR YOUR ARRIVAL.
WHICH APPARENTLY I PREDICTED AT THE MOMENT OF MY DEATH.
benigncancer: (Defiant)

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-02-20 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS, KARKAT.
CHILL.
IT'LL BE FINE. NO ONE'S EVEN CULLED ME FOR IT, AND I PRETTY MUCH YELL MY BLOOD COLOUR FROM THE ROOFTOPS, LITERALLY.
AT LEAST, NOT IN A WHILE.
benigncancer: (Down)

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-02-22 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
AS YOU WISH.
I'D CERTAINLY NEVER WANT TO PUT YOU IN DANGER IN ANY WAY.
AND BELIEVE ME, I *DO* GET IT. I SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE HIDING FROM THE HIGHBLOODS, BECAUSE OF MY BLOOD, BEFORE IT REALLY DIDN'T MATTER ANYMORE.
I CAN'T CHANGE WHAT'S ALREADY HAPPENED, THOUGH.
benigncancer: (But I can't hug every troll!)

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-02-24 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
A COUPLE DO.
BUT I'M WORKING ON THEM.
I'VE ACTUALLY HUNG AROUND WITH THE GRAND HIGHBLOOD SUBJUGGLATOR ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS AND HE HASN'T CULLED ME YET.
ORPHANER DUALSCAR AND THE EMPRESS ARE MORE TOUCHY.
BE CAREFUL AROUND HIGHBLOODS, BUT MOST PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO HURT YOU OVER YOUR BLOOD COLOUR.
NOTHING YOU COULDN'T HAVE FIGURED OUT FOR YOURSELF.
benigncancer: (Peace and love man)

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-02-24 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
HONESTLY, BECAUSE THEY DESERVE A CHANCE TO KNOW THAT THEY CAN BE BETTER TROLLS.
EVERYONE DESERVES THAT CHANCE.
AND BECAUSE IF I SPEND TIME WITH THEM, THEY MAY REALIZE THAT I'M NOT WHAT THEY BELIEVE I AM.
benigncancer: (Chained)

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-02-28 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
THAT'S ALWAYS A POSSIBILITY THAT'S AT THE FOREFRONT OF MY MIND...
benigncancer: (Burning (Karkat))

[personal profile] benigncancer 2012-03-01 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
GOOD LUCK, KARKAT.
IF YOU EVER NEED A HAND WITH ANYTHING, I'M HERE.