00:01

[shoosh]

OKAY.
FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW HOW THESE GO. IN A STUNNING EXAMPLE OF WHAT SEEMS TO BE A CLEAR LACK OF INTELLIGENCE, I ACTUALLY READ THROUGH THIS INANE PIECE OF SHIT BEFORE I STARTED TYPING.
I DON’T NEED YOUR WITTY BANTER AND USELESS INFORMATION SO KNOCK IT OFF IN ADVANCE.
THE REASON WHY I’M BOTHERING WITH THIS FESTERING COLLECTION OF HIGHLY DISTASTEFUL HISTRIONICS AT ALL IS FOR ONE REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY:
I’M GOING TO TEACH ALL YOU BLATHERING NUTJOBS ABOUT THE `NOT OKAY SYSTEM`.
THIS IS A HIGHLY CHERISHED SYSTEM AND I DIDN’T MAKE IT UP THIS SECOND, SHUT YOUR PUZZLE TRAP AND FUCK OFF.
BY FUCK OFF I MEAN SIT DOWN AND LISTEN BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT AND HIGHLY RELEVANT WHEN YOU'RE GOING AROUND SNATCHING PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR UNIVERSES WHEN THEY'VE GOT IMPORTANT SHIT TO DO.
`DESTROYED` ISN'T SOMETHING THAT JUST HAPPENS TO ENTIRE UNIVERSES, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.
THE `NOT OKAY SYSTEM` IS A ONE TO TEN SCALE OF HOW OKAY YOU ARE WITH A CERTAIN SITUATION.
THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH INFORMATION ALREADY, BUT I KNOW THAT A VAST MAJORITY OF YOU ARE HAPLESS, BRAINLESS, FLESHY PINK HUMAN MEATBAGS, SO I’LL ELABORATE.
YOU’RE WELCOME.
THE SCALE IS SIMPLE ENOUGH, WHERE YOU GAUGE HOW `OKAY` YOU ARE WITH A CERTAIN SITUATION USING ONE DIGIT NUMBERS, A CONCEPT THAT EVEN THE MOST INTELLIGENCE-CHALLENGED INDIVIDUAL CAN UNDERSTAND.
ONE IS THE LOWEST END OF THE SCALE, TEN IS THE HIGHEST.
THAT NEEDED CLARIFICATION.
AGAIN, YOU’RE WELCOME.
FOR EXAMPLE, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU NEANDERTHRASHING FUCKSPONGES WILL NEED ONE, I WILL RATE THE SITUATION I’M IN RIGHT NOW USING THE NOT OKAY SCALE.
THAT SITUATION BEING, OF COURSE, THAT I’VE BEEN MERCILESSLY RIPPED OUT OF MY UNIVERSE AND THEREFORE STRIPPED OF MY IMPORTANT LEADER DUTIES.
JUST IN CASE YOU’D FORGOTTEN.
RATING MYSELF ON A ONE TO TEN SCALE, WITH ONE BEING DELIGHTFULLY CONTENT LIKE A BUCKTOOTHED IDIOT DANCING NAKED IN THE RAIN AND TEN BEING PSYCHO JUGGALO ASSHOLE SUDDENLY GETTING A WICKED THIRST FOR THE KILLS
I WOULD BE AROUND A 6.
MIDWAY UP THE SCALE, DECIDEDLY NOT OKAY BUT NOT BEING AN OBNOXIOUS BULGEREEK ABOUT IT.
HAD I NOT HAD THE MENTAL CAPACITY, AS I KNOW MOST OF YOU DON’T, TO FLIP THROUGH THIS BOOK FIRST, I WOULD BE TWELVE OR THIRTEEN ON THE SCALE.
IT’S MY SCALE I CAN GO HIGHER THAN THE LIMIT IF I WANT TO, FUCK OFF.
THIRTEEN WOULD BE PEELING OFF ALL MY SKIN, FILING DOWN MY HORNS AND GOING ON A BLEARY AND CONFUSED MURDER SPREE.
I WAS FEELING MAGNANIMOUS WITH MY BRAIN POWER AND SAVED YOU ALL THE TROUBLE OF DEALING WITH THAT.
THIS MEMO HAS ALMOST REACHED ITS CONCLUSION, BUT BEFORE I LEAVE YOU DUMBFUCKS BACK TO YOUR IGNORANCE BUBBLES, I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE CLARIFIED:
THIS IS NOT ME BEING OBNOXIOUS AND TELLING YOU HOW TO ACCURATELY GAUGE YOUR LIFE WITH MY SPARKLING PERSONALITY AND ENDLESS INTELLECT
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MEMO CONTAINING A PRICELESS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE INANE AND THE IDIOTIC.
(THAT’S YOU.)

Comments

[shoosh]

BEFORE YOU LAUNCH INTO A LONG AND POINTLESS CONVERSATION ABOUT NOBODY FUCKING CARES WHAT IT'S MY JOB TO INFORM YOU I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE AND I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

[Text]

[lethechained]

Okay. [... She seems to be taking it very well, since she is not surprised by that at all.]

Thank you for doing your job. [This is not actually sarcasm, although there might be a hint of humorous intent.]

[shoosh]

[ he's not used to people not reacting badly to his dickishness, this is a refreshing change. not that he'll stop or anything. ]

YEAH, NO PROBLEM.
WHO ARE YOU?

[lethechained]

[She's entirely too familiar with both Karkats and their tendencies to be at very perplexed by his attitude.]

My name is Naminé. I guess I should say that it's nice to meet you again since you don't remember the last time. [Assuming, of course, there are no alternate universe shenanigans taking place. Truthfully, she finds the idea that his memories might have been tampered with quite concerning, but... well, it's too early to tell for sure what's happened.]

[shoosh]

NAMIN
WAIT WHAT'S THAT THING ON TOP OF THE E?
DOES THAT MEAN SOMETHING SPECIAL.
IS THIS HOW YOU BLATHERING NITWITS DIFFERENTIATE YOUR CLASSES?
OR ARE YOU SOME KIND OF MUTANT ALPHABET CASTE OR SOMETHING.

[lethechained]

[What--?]



I'm not sure what it's called. I don't think it means anything like that it's just

the way my name has always been spelled. [She didn't make up the spelling, okay.] I think maybe it's because you're supposed to pronounce the e[?]. [She can't really argue about the mutant caste thing, though.]

[shoosh]

I CAN'T MAKE MY E DO THE THING.
NAMINE.
NAMINEEEEE.
NAM
THIS IS STUPID.

[lethechained]

[...Okay, she can't help laughing a little at him. Fortunately, that doesn't come across through text.]

That's okay. You don't have to worry about it. I don't mind if you type it like that.

[shoosh]

IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR NOT HAVING A NORMAL NAME.

[lethechained]

Oh


[Well. :c She... probably didn't name herself but,]

I'm sorry.

[shoosh]

[ oh no she wasn't supposed to apologize now he feels like a dick. ]

WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?

[lethechained]

Because my name isn't normal and it's an inconvenience?.

[Come on this makes total sense--]

[shoosh]

IT ISN'T LIKE YOU CHOSE IT, RIGHT?
DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING UNLESS IT'S YOUR FAULT.

[lethechained]

Right. I'm still sorry that it troubled you but

I can try. [To not apologize, she means. Other than... that one, if that actually counted.]

[shoosh]

OKAY.
FIRST OF ALL, SHUT UP, I'M ABOUT TO TEACH YOU A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON HERE.
WHEN SOMEBODY GIVES YOU SHIT FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T YOUR FAULT YOU DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR IT, YOU TELL THEM TO GET THEIR FINGERS OUT OF THE ROE HOLE AND GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF.
GOT IT?
ALTERNATIVELY `SHUT UP` IS A TRIED AND TRUE METHOD.

[1/?]

[lethechained]

[2/?]

[lethechained]

[3/?]

[lethechained]

[4/4] [Text]

[lethechained]

[... Hah. She doubts she'll do it, but she still finds herself smiling, and,]

I've got it.

Thank you for the life lesson. [This may or may not be somewhat humorous.] I'm sure it will be invaluable.



I'm not sure what a roe hole is.

[shoosh]

I WON'T SCHOOLFEED YOU THE MANY WAYS IN WHICH TROLL VOCABULARY IS VASTLY SUPERIOR TO HUMAN DIALECT
BUT A ROE HOLE IS SOMEWHERE YOU DON'T WANT TO STICK YOUR FINGERS.

[lethechained]

Oh


okay. [Well.]

That doesn't sound very nice.

[shoosh]

YOU ASKED.

[lethechained]

I know. I wasn't blaming you.

I probably shouldn't have asked. Sor [... Is she allowed to apologize for that one?]

[shoosh]

I'LL LET THAT ONE SLIDE.

[lethechained]

Thank you.