1 ✘ voice

[toomanly]

Something tells me that my world’s not actually been destroyed. Because my world? It’s pretty destructo-proof. We’ve proven that. A couple times, actually. We’re like cockroaches, cut off our heads and we come right back. And some letter saying that you saved me from the big bad--

[ a beat ] Hold on. Who are you supposed to be, anyway? You and your little letter with your little words. Because if you’re not Buffy then i’ve gotta wonder if you’re trying to be her and i’m not sure she’s ever been too big on imitation or flattery being the highest art of anything.

And anyway, if my world had been destroyed, you would’ve saved Buffy, not me. Probably Will, too. I’m not usually the guy that gets picked for these sort of things -- it’s like how I always picked last for dodgeball and put on the bench. I’d probably get picked last for who gets to live in the brand new world order, too.

So, uh, you maybe wanna tell me what’s actually going on? ‘Cause the fake letter really isn’t gonna cut it.

Comments

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

Oh really? Well I suppose that makes a change to having a different blood colour...or the same blood colour but it means something completely different.

I'm Aradia, by the way.

[voice]

[toomanly]

Aradia? Got it, i'm Xander.

So, wait- You have a different blood color? Or someone that looks like you has a different blood color than you because I think I saw that on an episode of Star Trek once.

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

It's nice to meet you, Xander.

[Oops, explanation time]

It's a little more than that. It...I'm not a human. I'm a troll, and trolls have different colour blood which determines their place on the hemospectrum. I'm red, which is the bottom in my world but there's a different world where red is the highest which makes their world's me Empress and okay, I'm stopping now because this is confusing even when you are a troll and-

[Wait. Something's falling into place here]

Hold on a minute. Xander...you mean like Willow's moirail Xander? The one who used to be matesprits with a vengeance demon?

[voice]

[toomanly]

[ He was in the middle of trying to process all that troll stuff and now you're using vocabulary he doesn't recognize when the SAT's vocabulary section was even difficult for him and what's happening. ]

Starting to think I might need to reread the dictionary again because i'm not sure I know what a moirail is. Or a matesprite. But I do know a Willow, I just don't know if i'm her... whatever it was you said.

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

Oh, sorry. I forget you only have the one quadrant. How do I explain...matesprit is someone you have flushed feelings for...like, you pity them in a way that you want to mate with them...or at least you think you'd like to eventually. Moirallegience is a pity quadrant too but it's more platonic. And moirail's the word Willow used when she talked to me about you, assuming you are the same Xander and this isn't just some huge misunderstanding.

[voice]

[toomanly]

No, I uh- I think I've got it now. [ He doesn't get it in the slightest, big surprise there. ] I'm her moirail. I'm her Xander.

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

Oh good! I'm really glad someone else from her world is here. Especially someone who means so much to her.

[voice]

[toomanly]

I'm not so sure i'm glad to be here, collars and all, but i'm gladder that I can be here for her. I'd be even more glad if we could just get on right back home.

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

Well, yeah, I guess the collars and stuff aren't such a good thing. But if we have to be here at all, it helps to have familiar faces around, right?

[voice]

[toomanly]

Always better together than apart. [ a beat ] Hey, you know anything about this collar business? Kinda thing it's one of those things that the letter should've mentioned, along with what supposedly happened to our worlds.

Makes it even more suspicious, don't you think?

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

I don't, I'm sorry. I know it has something to do with when we have to go to the infirmary but that's all I know. Mostly I try not to think about it...you get used to it after a while.

[voice]

[toomanly]

When we have to go? I don't like going to the doctors unless i've got a flu the size of texas, and even then, you might as well drug me along the way.

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

I don't think we really get much of a say in it. And it's nothing too painful. Mostly they just change out the liquid.

[voice]

[toomanly]

Because that's not creepy at all. Just wait for them to start taking other things--

Wait, who's them?

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

The people in the infirmary.

[voice]

[toomanly]

But who are they?

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

Some of them are other residents. Some I don't see around much.

But like I said, it's nothing to worry about.

[voice]

[toomanly]

Yeah. Right. Changing around the fluid in a collar I didn't ask for is nothing to worry about. That doesn't sound suspicious at all.

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

Well it's not like there's much we can do about it.

Have you seen much else of the tower yet?

[voice]

[toomanly]

Waiting for Willow to give me the grand tour.

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

Oh! Then I should probably leave you two to catch up.

[voice]

[toomanly]

Hey, don't worry about it. Not like i'm going anywhere unless the big bad boss guy says I can. I'll be around.

[voice]

[verymuchalive]

Then we'll have to hang out some time, once you've gotten used to the place.

[voice] ajfsdkl; thanks for putting up with my slow tagging bb

[toomanly]

Hey, yeah. Can't guarantee I won't get lost a few times, but you're on.

[voice] It's fine! I know how rl bites sometimes

[verymuchalive]

I'll find you. Maybe I'll get Willow to drag you to our next movie night.