1 ✘ voice

[toomanly]

Something tells me that my world’s not actually been destroyed. Because my world? It’s pretty destructo-proof. We’ve proven that. A couple times, actually. We’re like cockroaches, cut off our heads and we come right back. And some letter saying that you saved me from the big bad--

[ a beat ] Hold on. Who are you supposed to be, anyway? You and your little letter with your little words. Because if you’re not Buffy then i’ve gotta wonder if you’re trying to be her and i’m not sure she’s ever been too big on imitation or flattery being the highest art of anything.

And anyway, if my world had been destroyed, you would’ve saved Buffy, not me. Probably Will, too. I’m not usually the guy that gets picked for these sort of things -- it’s like how I always picked last for dodgeball and put on the bench. I’d probably get picked last for who gets to live in the brand new world order, too.

So, uh, you maybe wanna tell me what’s actually going on? ‘Cause the fake letter really isn’t gonna cut it.

Comments

[toomanly]

I never said you couldn't make your own choices, Will. Just that your choices are kinda.. flip-floppy. Your choices are like a pancake and I can't keep track of which side i'm supposed to be on. Or if I should just be the syrup and wait on the table with the butter and see what happens.

[ Uh-huh... ] .... I'm sorry you were here all by yourself. Would've come sooner if I knew, but it's not like the dimensional leaders of the galaxies usually fill me in on these kind of things.

[guiltapalooza]

I said it wasn't your fault, and I know I'm flip-floppy! You think I know what side I'm on? It wasn't like I woke up and one morning and thought, oh, today I'll flip the lesbian switch, that won't make me confused about anything.

I just don't want this to be a problem between us. I'm trying to... I'm trying. [She crumbles, because trying to be a good person after her time as Darth Rosenberg was a full time, draining, and guilt-riddling occupation.]

[toomanly]

It's not gonna be a problem between us, whichever way you want to flip your switch is fine with me. I don't care if it's on or off, or if you turn on your night light instead. You should know that, Will.

It's just.. a surprise, that's all. [ Sigh, he doesn't want to see Will fall apart, which is why he's partially sucking it up here and trying to be a big boy. But it's difficult because he's still boggled by most of this. ]

[guiltapalooza]

... I know, it's a lot to take in. [She really does know that, because wow, if it was hard for him it'd been weirder for her, going through it.]

I know you just got here, and I don't mean to push you. I was going to tell you, um, sometime when it wasn't right then?

[toomanly]

Bad timing, I got it. All of this is just... a whole lot of bad timing. Though i'm not exactly sure there was a time that would've been all that good, either.

We'll-- I'll figure it out, Will. It's not a problem, okay? Whatever makes you happy.

[guiltapalooza]

Do we ever get good timing? [she asks, trying to joke but overwhelmed with affection for him.]

I think we have the bad timing record.

[toomanly]

If we've got the record for bad timing, does that mean we're always in last place? [ Give him a second to think about that one.

... okay, done. ] Pretty sure we can just forget about the timing. Too complicated.

[guiltapalooza]

Yeah, too complicated, [she says in relieved agreement.]

But we've gone through worse on the relationship front. At least I'm being open about it! [Not that she'd ever hold it against Buffy that she'd kept the situation with Spike to herself, but it had hurt and it had caused problems, Willow couldn't deny.]

This is like... small potatoes, comparatively. We're not even destined to kill each other or anything.

[toomanly]

Troll, vampire. It's like comparing... Tribbles and Ewok's. [ Uh. Or Something. ] Makes it even better when you can keep that pesky destiny business from getting in the way. Especially if he isn't trying to kill you, or... worship you as his Goddess or something.

And hey, I like knowing sooner rather than later. No hiding things -- [ Have a finger waggle! ] -- not even here.

[guiltapalooza]

No killing and no worshiping, I promise. Not even a hint of destiny.

[Oh Xander, don't even mock scold her about hiding things, now she looks embarrassed and awkward and is doing badly at containing it.] I am! --Not hiding things! See, this is me telling you. I just... got used to not having anyone to tell, so I'm playing catch up. But I will catch you up!

[toomanly]

[ Oh pfff, Stop that Willow. Just have a look because c'mon. ] I was teasing. Teasing, okay? You remember what teasing is right? You can't have been stuck here that long in fascist troll land.

I expect all the ketchup okay. And fries to go with it. [ Such witty wordplay you have there, Xander. ]

[guiltapalooza]

... Oh yeah, teasing. Sorry. It's just been a long couple months! [she protests.] Even longer than when I was in Devon. At least then I thought you wouldn't want to see me.

By the way, I'm going to graciously ignore a pun that horrendous. Witness my magnanimity.

[toomanly]

Hey, it wasn't that bad. I've made worse.

[ He just... sighs. Now he's even more worried about you, Will. ] I know we've been through long months before, but we're gonna have to work on this. Think you've been without me too long.

[guiltapalooza]

You have, and that's what frightens me.

[Now that Willow's recovered herself some, she has enough presence of mind to try to make him worry less. She hates to be that friend, the one that takes constant work. ... Even if she is that friend, sometimes.] Yeah, maybe, [she says weakly, and finds a smile for him.] I'll be alright. You're here, and, things aren't so bad. I'm really going a lot better now than I was when I first got back to Sunnydale, even with everything.

[toomanly]

Hey, look at me. [ Have a wave before he points at himself. Yes, look at him. Your savior. ]

You'll be alright. You'll be better than alright, okay? We'll get through this, even with our creepy as hell collars on, injecting who knows what into our veins.

[guiltapalooza]

[She duly looks at him when instructed, and smiles sheepishly.]

The collars are pretty creepy, huh. But... thanks. Somehow I can believe it when you say it. How did you get to be so smart, Xander? Cause I'm sure Ms. Feldon would be shocked to see that you turned out to be Mr. Wise and Responsible.

[toomanly]

[ Oh yes, that's a lovely smile. ]

I think Ms. Feldon would be shocked that i'm still alive and didn't manage to win my very own Darwin Award.

[guiltapalooza]

[ ... A short giggle, and now she looks a lot more normal.]

Yeah, I bet you're more accurate with that one. But hey, look at you, all here and not dead and not stupid. It's impressive.