[Text]

[thekidsare0kay]

hey uh.
ii thiink ii'm gettiing 2iick or 2omethiing.
they called me down two the iinfiirmary and diid 2omethiing wiith my collar, but now ii feel liike 2hiit.
probably not a good iidea two 2ee me for a biit.
ju2t two warn you.

Comments

[guiltapalooza]

No, not cute, just majorly embarrassing. Well sometimes people tell me it's cute but mostly I just think it's embarrassing.

There is something bad, isn't there? I knew it. Just tell me.

[thekidsare0kay]

ii thiink that'2 the defiiniitiion of cute two everyone el2e.

well, ba2iically everyone iin any of the alternate tiimeliine2 ii2 doomed.

[guiltapalooza]

Oh. Yeah, good point. I do think it's cute when other people are embarrassed. Maybe just cause it's novel to see it on someone else for a change.

... I didn't think of that, but it has to be that way, doesn't it. Or the timelines will interfere with each other and, eesh, paradox. That must be hard to live with.

[thekidsare0kay]

exactly!

yeah, that'2 how iit work2.
there'2 the alpha tiimeliine, and then all the others are doomed tiimeliine2.

[guiltapalooza]

It is cute when you and Aradia talk about each other. Very novel.

I think I hate that word doomed already. I'll be thrilled when all of this is over.

[thekidsare0kay]

waiit, no, diid you ju2t call me cute?

ju2t thiink, my tiitle ii2 the mage of doom.
thiink how much ii mu2t hate iit.

[guiltapalooza]

Yup, I sure did, and I stand by it. Extremely cute.

But you can petition to change that, right? A petition would totally work. You just have to find someone to... petition. So that you aren't doomed anymore. Because I don't want you to be doomed!

[thekidsare0kay]

2hiit.
and look at you, you're 2o cute, two!
what am ii 2uppo2ed two do about thii2?

ii don't thiink 2o.
ii thiink the tiitle ii2 related two our per2onaliitiie2 and maybe our power2, two.
ii'm doomed, wiillow, ii already foretold my death, twiice, and the 2econd one ha2n't happened yet.

[guiltapalooza]

Hey, I did not sign up for a cuteness retaliation. You're supposed to let me tease you about what Aradia's said to me about you, and then I tease her about you said to me about her, and it all goes great and I get to witness all sorts of embarrassment.

... Yeah, I figured. If it helps at all, if there's one thing I've learned about prophecies it's that they skimp on the fine details. They suspiciously never mention what's going to happen after it gets fulfilled. So it might not really be as bad as totally and utterly doomed? Maybe more like temporarily doomed.

[thekidsare0kay]

2orry, giirl, you have been 2ubjected two a cutene22 retaliiatiion and there'2 nothiing you can do about iit.

ii have had vii2iion2 my entiire liife.
ii foretold that ii would diie twiice, and go bliind before the 2econd tiime.
ii'm not really 2ure what'2 goiing two happen after ii diie, whiich ii2 probably natural.

[guiltapalooza]

You're asking for some serious payback here. Watch out because when you least expect it, and aren't currently sick and power-wacky from collar tampering, there will be so much cuteness revenge.

Just let me keep my implausible hope for the future, okay? Cause thinking about you getting blinded and dying at some undefined point in the future is actually really upsetting and I think we have enough upsetting. I would rather talk about stupid things like the first half of this, and pretend we don't all have to go back to our apocalyptic fates at home.

[thekidsare0kay]

briing iit, baby~~

you thiink iit'2 up2ettiing two you?
iit'2 goiing two be me who diie2!
agaiin.
but yeah, we can talk about 2omethiing el2e.

[guiltapalooza]

It'll be broughten. Brought. One of those.

I think it's upsetting to everyone and should be avoided right now in the interest of peaceful happy times. Which reminds me. Aradia and I are going to throw a friendship affirmation party once this is all over, and you should totally come! And affirm your friendships.

[thekidsare0kay]

a friiend2hiip affiirmatiion party?
um.
that doe2n't 2ound two lame. okay, ii'll be there.
who el2e ii2 comiing?

[guiltapalooza]

Glad someone doesn't think I'm lame.

I'm not too sure yet. Whoever wants to, really? So I'll probably drag my boyfriend in and his kismesis (the other you), if he wants, and I invited the other Eridan and his moirail, and I'll get Dawn and Xander and Buffy to come, too. There will be strictly non-humiliating party games and also snacks.

[thekidsare0kay]

even iif iit were a lame iidea iit wouldn't nece22ariily mean you were lame.

uh.
ii2 thii2 a good iidea?
ii'm not friiend2 wiith your boyfriiend, and hii2 kii2me2ii2...
ii mean ii don't thiink iit'2 normal two hang around and play party game2 wiith your kii2me2ii2.

[guiltapalooza]

Yeah, well, someone else was all about the insinuations of lameness and I might still be kinda pouty about it.

That's what I'd think, but they both seem really chill about spending social time together. In between implying that the other one is completely useless and a big jerk, yadda yadda, only in stronger words that I am not inclined to repeat. I think they work together on their Alternia so maybe they're just used to it.

[thekidsare0kay]

oh no, what iincrediible douchebag 2aiid you were lame?

huh, well, okay.
ii haven't really talked two that eriidan, 2o maybe he'2 le22 of an a22hole than miine.

[guiltapalooza]

Vriska, the older one. She didn't seem too bad when I met her, but that must've been the shock of arrival temporarily turning her tolerable.

I'm gonna go with yes because he's not an asshole at all. I know I'm like, obligated to say that, but it's true! He's really very sweet. I think we lucked out on both of the Eridans that we got here, from what I can tell.

[thekidsare0kay]

oh, well that'2 vrii2ka for you.
2he'2 a huge biitch, don't let her get two you.

the jade eriidan doe2n't 2eem two bad, ii have two admiit.
but your2... ii don't know.
ii'll keep an open miind, okay?
but he look2 exactly liike the one ii know, and he'2 2uch a douche.

[guiltapalooza]

Oh, she's not getting to me, I just didn't realize I'd have to crack out my witty insults on her. They were getting all dusty and disused from not having Anya around, and using them on Dualscar is like taking sad potshots.

I don't want to betray his confidence or anything, but he's had a really hard life. If you give him a chance I think you'll be surprised. He and other you are really devoted to each other, anyway, so at least some version of you thinks he's worth it.

[thekidsare0kay]

oh, well iin that ca2e iit'2 cool.
hehe, dual2car ii2 a tool.

well, ii'm 2ort of kii2me2e2 wiith the other eriidan, two.
but an eriidan who doe2n't thiink he'2 the be2t thiing ever ii2 probably a huge iimprovement.

[guiltapalooza]

He is a tool, and if he does anything else I'll curse him again! ... I think I'm still a little mad.

Yeah, I think you fill the arrogant highblood role in that relationship. Sorry?

[thekidsare0kay]

yeah, well, ii'm all iin favour of that.
he murdered my ance2tor at lea2t once.

yeah, ii know.
the other me ii2 a douche, two.

[guiltapalooza]

You just let me know and there can be more cursing. No one's getting murdered while I'm around, and I have a couple other ideas for effective punishments.

He's not too bad as long as you stay perky. That's what I think, anyway. We may or may not be planning group outings with Eridan-- mostly just to make his life as awkward as possible, as far as I can tell.