animus_network | 004 ❀ Invisible words explode with scorn

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004 ❀ Invisible words explode with scorn

[Hey there tower- you know this face? She doesn't make it a point to use the network often, but when she does, it's usually for a good reason. Today's reason seems to be making announcements, settled in the library with tea beside her and her sketchbook in hand as ever.]

Strega- we will have breakfast tomorrow. All of us. Please don't make me have to come and bring you down. It would assuredly not be worth the trouble.

[Don't make her do it boys. It'll be ugly. Or at the very least, unpleasant.]

Willow- I have more things ready for you, if you would care to come try them on. I feel I may need to request a few more types of fabric from the tower if I am to continue, however. I would like to get the rest of these done properly or not at all.

[Because so many projects, so little of the necessary fabric to use- but half-assing things isn't her style.]

There is one more matter I'd care to bring up, if I may. Her Imperious Condescension, if I might request your attention a moment.

[She picks up her tea then, fingers curling delicately around the cup. It's not an actual request of course, because she takes another sip and continues on regardless-]

It has come to my attention that you have taken issue with the fact that one of your subjects is in a moirallegiance with me. While I am certain you have nothing but his best interests at heart- [she's absolutely sure of the opposite, actually]- I feel I must implore you to kindly mind your own quadrants. Presuming of course, there are any more of your subjects here loyal or willing enough to enter into them with you. If not, perhaps you should look into finding a quadrant-mate outside of the limited number of your people- it seems to be working out just fine for some of the rest of them, after all.

[She takes another sip of her tea, then sets it aside and reaches forward toward the console.]

Ah- and if you should hurt him again like you did before, I believe you will find that not everyone is quite so willing to let you do as you please, Highness.

[Chidori out, yo.]

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[Dualscar must be really upset if he's not even getting angry or pushing Signless away, not that Signless is surprised by that. He scoots closer and puts his arms loosely around him, giving him the space to pull away if he chooses.]

I don't want to take the place of your very able moirail - I think we both know if we have a future it's not in that quadrant - but Orphaner... you are very strong. You stood up to her, and though you might not realize it right now, you accomplished something great.

And maybe she'll recognize that one day, and realize that you did the right thing.

[he hunches his shoulders a bit, and if he'd been doubting himself before, he really is now. of course signless would think that; he doesn't know the whole thing, and this whole affair is embarrassing. here he'd thought he couldn't sink much lower before all of this had exploded in his face.]

I did not. Chidori did.

[another fact that he hates to admit, one that actually gets his blood pumping properly, his thoughts derailing onto another course.]

She's the Empress. She deserves much, much more than this.

Didn't you? [He knows a little, and he can read between the lines of what Chidori told him] Maybe you let the Empress think you'd obeyed her, but you didn't. You could have done more, but you allowed Chidori to stay your moirail, even if you told her you weren't.

[He slips his fingers along Dualscar's cheek, just to the base of a fin, then presses another kiss to Dualscar's other cheek, gentle. It's not black right now at all, but that's all right.]

No, Orphaner. You're the one who deserves better than the way she treated you.

[he swallows. that's one of the more shameful parts to it, really. the list is getting longer, and he can't seem to stop it from growing. he reaches a hand upward to gingerly touch at signless' wrist and hold it.

dualscar shakes his head, his words becoming hollow repeats of his thoughts.]

If I am unable to fulfill my basic duties 'a loyalty, I do not. An' if it brings her happiness to be rid 'a me, then so be it.

[sincerely, even. it's the only thing he can think of to get him through this situation.]

[There now, that's good. Signless cautiously rubs his thumb, not moving his hand, but allowing the thumb to rub up the spine of a fin. He presses his forehead to Dualscar's other cheek, holding him around the shoulders with his free arm.]

Orphaner, you haven't done anything wrong. There's nothing disloyal about having a human moirail. All the Condesce wanted was to lash out and give you pain, because she wasn't able to control you - control your heart. And she's succeeded. That's not the act of a great leader who's deserving of your loyalty. If she cared for you as a follower - or in any other capacity - then she would want you to be happy in her service, not miserable.

She held me to a higher standard, as she should.

[he lets signless shower him with these affections, as it actually makes him feel a touch... better, almost. he's not sure how to feel about this display, other than further disgust with himself. it hurts less to not think on it.]

My misery is my own; I brought this upon myself.

[signless is a mutant rebel. he may just be talking to a brick wall here-- of course he wouldn't get it.]

[Signless certainly hopes it's helping. He's quite worried about the fact that Dualscar is opening up to him like this, rather than lashing out.]

But now you're free to walk your own path. To answer to your own standards, and not those imposed on you by someone who doesn't care about you.

[don't count your chickens before they hatch, signless. perhaps he'll give him a reason not to worry soon enough, if the anger that slips into his voice is any consolation. a highblood's patience only extends so far, after all.]

But I care for her.

[He pauses at that, then sighs and rests his head against Dualscar's shoulder]

I'm sorry she rejected you, Orphaner. You can do so much better, though.

There's no one better for me.

[truth. better for matespritship... probably, most definitely. he'll continue with his delusions.]

I know it seems that way right now! But you'll get through this, and you have people who care about you, who will be with you right now.

[He shifts, climbing practically into the sea dweller's lap, so that he can look into his purple eyes. He smiles up at him sympathetically]

I promise you, Orphaner. You're not alone right now. And things will get better.

[he's still skeptical, though it shows itself in the way of sadness as he looks down to the troll in his lap. there are few that care for him, signless knows this, very very very few. and normally this wouldn't be a problem for him, because he wouldn't care so long as he had his empress to follow. but now it's just... a realization, of how utterly alone he is. because if he thought himself lonely before... well.

he touches the side of signless' face, brushes the hair from his eyes, and pulls down to kiss him again.]

[Such gentleness is something Signless might never have expected from Dualscar - certainly never directed towards him.

He smiles softly at that, and goes eagerly where Dualscar pulls him, pressing his lips to Dualscar's and giving a soft hum as he slips his arms around the sea dweller's neck.]

[nor did he, but circumstances have apparently since changed. in contrast, redrom isn't exactly something he does often either -- far from, in fact -- and misunderstandings are a-go. don't worry, he won't tell if signless doesn't. his hand drifts from signless' face to slide down his arm, to rest it softly against the base of his ribcage.

he deepens the kiss, slightly, melancholic thoughts momentarily pushed aside in light of this new area of concentration. that doesn't mean there isn't something desperate in the way he embraces him though, as if afraid signless will disappear from him as well.]

[Wow, uh.

Yeah.

This is really red.

But while Signless is very aware of his recent discovery that his Disciple is back, he simply can't back out right now and leave Dualscar alone. He has a feeling that any kind of rejection right now would possibly destroy something. Something important, either within Dualscar, or between the two of them.

So while he breathes into Dualscar's mouth and returns the kiss with interest, letting his own hands drift down to the middle of Dualscar's back, he slowly tries to shift it in a more black direction. He nips at Dualscar's lower lip, and slides his tongue into the sea dweller's mouth in a more aggressive manner, trying awkwardly to remind him of what quadrant this is, while not rejecting his advance at all.]

[no, not quite Getting It just yet. where as signless kisses he becomes rougher, dualscar rather think it as eagerness by this point. perhaps it's the lack of blood, the complete lack of aggressive advances beforehand, the entire lack of anger in both their demeanors. he's too tired to manage anything properly black right now anyway, beyond scathing bitterness towards himself.

dualscar's mindful of his teeth, as difficult as that is with hands all over you. his own hand shifts to slide up signless' torso, bunching the cloth along with it, as he leans back slightly to let gravity do a bit more of the work.]

[And Signless is too tentative in this area to really get this right. He sighs softly and pushes forward, trying to help Dualscar onto his back.

He nips at his lip again, then pulls back, breaking the kiss. His cheeks burn a bit, though not as much as they had when Dualscar was hate pailing him, before.]

Is this what you want, Orphaner?

[he pauses, lets his arm fall from where it'd been touching signless and back to the bed to lean on. he meets his gaze levelly, searching for something that probably isn't there, but all he can see is fucking compassion. sometimes it's hard to know you've done something wrong, even harder to admit to it. the first step is revolutionary for him, honestly, but at this point it's much easier to accept things as his fault.

he feels his digestive sack twisting in on itself. was there a line, now that he's reached the lowest he could possible sink to?]

... In regards to what?

Edited 2012-04-19 05:54 (UTC)

[Signless swallows hard. He's sure Dualscar hates him, or at least did until today. And Signless still isn't sure he's capable of the kind of relationship that they really should have. Some aspects he can grasp - the idea of a rivalry, making one another stronger, pushing each other. But real hatred? He pities Dualscar too much, quite frankly, for his loneliness and the way society has treated him.

So there's compassion there in his crimson eyes, as well as worry, and guilt.]

Just...me. In regards to me.

[and for dualscar, real hatred he can do. it's the rivalry aspect that's lost on him, what with the condesce making it clear she no longer wants anything to do with him. there was nothing to fight over, acceptance of the others' equality or not. and it's precisely that that causes him to actually think on answer. he studies signless' eyes for a moment longer, unsure of what he should even be looking for, then drops it.

he shakes his head.]

[Signless nods, and sags a little, frankly a bit relieved. He just wasn't sure if a kismessitude between them would work, and he already has a matesprit and a moirail.

He takes Dualscar's cheeks in his hands and gently, gently kisses him on the forehead]

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004 ❀ Invisible words explode with scorn

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