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[papshooshing]

SEE, I KNEW WE WERE TOO CLOSE TO THAT GODDAMNED NEON GREEN HEAVENLY BODY.
AT LEAST THIS IS WHAT I AM GOING TO ASSUME THIS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MISSIVE REFERS TO
SINCE WE ALL KNOW THAT NOT ONLY WAS THE PLANET DESTROYED, BUT THE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE.
THANKS A LOT FOR THAT ONE, LALONDE, IN CASE YOU'RE FUCKING READING THIS.
I SINCERELY DOUBT THAT THE MEDIUM IMPLODING ON ITSELF OR WHATEVER HAPPENED TO IT COUNTS AS SOME HEROIC DEATH.
THOUGH I DON'T KNOW, I COULD COUNT AT LEAST SIXTY WAYS IN WHICH IT COULD PASS AS A JUSTIFIED DEATH SO WHO THE FUCK EVEN KNOWS ANYMORE.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT THIS IS HOOFBEAST SHIT.
I DON'T CARE WHO THE FUCK YOU NOOKBITING BULGE HUMPERS ARE, BUT YOU DIDN'T SAVE SHIT.
ALL OF THE SHIT WAS ON ITS WAY TO BE FIXED AND PACKAGED UP NEATLY WITH A PRETTY RIBBON ON TOP
THEN AWAY IT WOULD GO TO BE LODGED UNDER THE HUMAN CHRISTMAS TREE.
THERE WE WOULD WAIT IN EAGER ANTICIPATION, KNOWING THAT ALL OF OUR EFFORTS HERE WOULD
*MOTHERFUCKING FINALLY*
BEAR SOME SEMBLANCE OF FRUIT.
BUT OH NO! OH NO NO NO!
CAN'T HAVE *THAT* NOW CAN WE?
ONCE THINGS START GOING RIGHT THAT MEANS SOMETHING *OBVIOUSLY* NEEDS TO GO EVEN FUCKING MORE WRONG THAN BEFORE!
THE POWERS THAT BE IN EVERY OTHER UNIVERSE SEEM TO WANT TO CONVERGE ON THE SINGLE MOMENT OF PEACE AND TRANQUILITY AND SHATTER IT WITH A HUGE ASS HAMMER.
OOPS! THERE GO THOSE SHARDS, SMASHED INTO A FINE POWDER THAT BLOWS AWAY IN THE FAINTEST OF BREEZES.
ALL I CAN REALLY SAY ABOUT THIS SITUATION IS
WHAT
THE
FUCK.

Comments

[benigncancer]

HI KARKAT!

[papshooshing]

I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE, BUT I WILL NOT BE MOCKED ANYMORE TODAY.
WHERE ARE YOU SO I CAN PUNCH YOU IN THE SHAME GLOBES.

[benigncancer]

I'M YOUR ANCESTOR.
AND I'M IN THE LIBRARY ON THE THIRD FLOOR, IF YOU'D LIKE TO COME SEE ME.
I WASN'T MOCKING YOU, THOUGH.

[windykind]

whoa!
slow down there, cowboy.
firstly, hi karkat!
and second, what's going on?

[papshooshing]

*YOU*
WHAT YOU DID WAS COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY INDECENT, JOHN EGBERT.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN EVER BE FRIENDS AGAIN AFTER THAT FUCKING STUNT.

[windykind]

so we are friends!
or were, i guess.
now that you've exiled me from the vast and loving embrace of your heart.

[guiltapalooza]

I can't tell if you actually need answers still or are just complaining. Could you clarify that for me so I can dump exposition on you if need be?

Also, my name's Willow, and some other version of you has been here before, so everyone probably knows your name already. Actually, there's still another version of you here. Just telling you as a warning.

[papshooshing]

IT'S BOTH, OR ARE YOUR LOOKSTUBS BROKEN.
DON'T ANSWER THAT, IT'S MORE OR LESS RHETORICAL.
I ALREADY *KNOW* THEY ARE, AS NO ONE SEEMS TO TAKE ANYTHING I SAY SERIOUSLY ANYWAY.
AT LEAST I SHOULD BE THRILLED BY THIS GOLDEN KERNEL OF INFORMATION YOU HAVE JUST DIVE BOMBED ME WITH.
WHY THE BULGE FONDLING HELL WOULD I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE PRESENCE OF ANOTHER SHITSTAIN OF A KARKAT?

[guiltapalooza]

It's just one of those things people like to know, in case of identity confusion or personal desire to dress up as the Bobbsey Twins.

So what do you want answered about the tower? Or should I go off on a list of things I think are relevant for new arrivals?

[scalemate]

[Goooood she is so not in the mood for this!!!!]

YOU DONT R3M3MB3R 4NYTH1NG DO YOU?

[papshooshing]

GEE, WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE.

[scalemate]

UGHHH
DONT ST4RT >:\

[vvvroom]

turn off your capslock, damn

[Whoooosh, missing the point.]

[papshooshing]

HOW ABOUT FUCK YOU?

[vvvroom]

wow rude.
i don't blame you, this place sucks and your reaction is really understandable.
and i also know how you feel because my friends and i were in that exact same situation, weird as that sounds
down to the shit being fixed and packaged up neatly and fruit-bearing and everything
i've been there, i know it's frustrating as hell
but i would try to stay calm at least because it's probably going to get a lot worse and if you keep these kinds of reactions up you might explode.
that's not a metaphor, i mean literally, like a spontaneously combust kind of thing. or have a lot of heart attacks in a row of something, i dunno.

[hystericull]

MoThErFuUuUuCk
ThErE YoU AlL At, BrOtHeR
A MoThErFuCkEr bE TrYiNg tO GeT HiS FuCkInG SeArCh oN At yOu wHaT'S FoR
UhHhHhHh
A TiMe tHaT AlL FeElS LiKe sOmEtHiNg tHaT'S A MoThErFuCkInG WhIlE, pRoBaBlY
WhErE YoU AlL BeEn uP AnD TuRnIn nUbBy tAiL To tHiS WhOlE MoThErFuCkInG TiMe, BeSt fRiEnD?

[papshooshing]

ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH AGAIN OR SOMETHING?
WAIT, NEVERMIND
OBVIOUSLY THIS IS SOME TIME BULLSHITERY GOING ON AND I'M FEELING ODDLY DISCONCERTED WITH THE FACT YOU'RE EATING SOPOR.
LIKE, I AM REALLY NOT OK WITH IT.

[chronomancer]

as much as i sympathize wwith the urge to blame lalonde for things
this isnt his fault
also
wwhat the fuck is probably the right reaction

[papshooshing]

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

[pushedaround]

hEY, kARKAT,

[papshooshing]

NITRAM, I GUESS?

[lightfromdark]

Hello, Karkat.

[papshooshing]

ROSE?

[Posted a day or so after the labyrinth end]

[caliginous]

LOOK WHO DECIDED TO JOIN US AGAIN.
ARE YOU GONNA STICK AROUND THIS TIME EGGHEAD, OR SHOULD I GO BACK TO ENJOYING MY BLISSFUL, BULGELICKER-FREE EVENING IN TOWER WONDERFUCK????????

[papshooshing]

DON'T KNOW
DON'T CARE EITHER.
BUT I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU AND THE ONLY WORDS I CARE TO EXCHANGE *EVER* ARE:
FUCK OFF, NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO DO OR SAY.