animus_network | 002 || text

[Jin hadn't left his post at the computer for most of the day, except to talk to the others. He'd gotten the message and made sure to head down when some of the people that loitered around started to retire to sleep.

He'd calmed down a bit more, though his previous paranoid rubbing of his arms had started to become habit. Which kind of pissed him off. So he sort of self-consciously restricted his arms to his sides when he made it up to the fourth floor lounge, looking around a bit before heading over to Minato.]

....Hey.

[It kind of reminded him when they had had to talk to him about Takaya. that certainly wasn't a thought he wanted right now.]

[ He removes his headphones and clicks the mp3 player off, rather than turning the volume down like he usually does. He doesn't get up from his seat; rather, this is an invitation for Jin to sit down near him if he wants to. ]

... Hey.

[ God, this is hard. He doesn't want to do this. ]

I... keep wondering if this isn't just some sort of dream. To prove how much control over us they have.

... Bastards.

[ God, they pissed him off. ]

[He'd heard the sound radiating from Minato's headphones so often, that it was almost surprising, but he didn't question it. He did accept the invitation however, and flopped on a nearby seat.]

No shit. [Yeah, he was pretty pissed too. His fists clenched a bit.]

If we were just asleep, then they can make it more than just a dream. Trying to show that they can fuck with us.

[ He is quiet for a moment.

Seeing Jin alive is such a relief... ]

... I... saw the Network. They recorded everything, from everyone.

[ ... He doesn't doubt Jin missed his. He can hope, but... he severely doubts it. ]

That's not right. People's nightmares, their punishments, whatever--they shouldn't force people's private feelings to be... public, like that. It's not their choice.

But I'm... I'm sorry. I should have tried harder. Maybe you wouldn't have went through that.

--Don't. [Oh hell no, there was not gonna be any of this leader-y self-blaming here tonight. Aaaaand he'd rather talk about this than anything Minato would've seen on the network.]

I don't like what they're doing, but don't take the blame for the stupid shit I do.

... You're important to me, Jin. I don't want you to go through any of this. You might say otherwise, but I really don't think you deserve any of what you've been through. Especially not here.

[ There. He said it. HE ADMITTED IT OKAY. He normally tends to beat around the bush but-- ]

... How much did you see?

[ He has to know. ]

[It was kind of weird, hearing someone say he didn't deserve a karmic punch to the face. He didn't really believe in karma, but he'd already learned to take life's hardships and just deal with it, so even if it was Minato saying it...it did get a bit of a side glance.]

Saw all of it. You know me. [Going on the computer was about as much of a hobby he had back home besides mixing explosives and an off-hand interest in robotics.

He looked down and away, suddenly taking an interest in the ground.] I... didn't know you worried about that stuff.

[ ... Oh he's a little sheepish now HAHA... ]

... You know what we do.

[ He smiles quietly and just... awkwardly rubs the back of his head. ]

That... makes me a monster. You know, other people would hear that and think that. And it's not wrong. With our Personas the way they are, if I ever lost control, I don't think it would... be pretty.

[ Likes murdering and mangling and just... generally horrifically maiming everyone in sight not pretty. ]

You're not a monster. [He almost sounds like he's rushing to say that.]

We've been doing that shit for years and it's never bothered me. Not like-- that at least.

[And he's looking up, just a bit now, but he's sitll not meeting Minato's eyes.] I don't know about the others, but I never cared. You're the least monstrous of all of us if you ask me.

... I don't know, to be honest, if that's true or not. Being here has just... reminded me that I'm nothing like anyone else.

[ This is too touchy-feely, but he's not going to lie to Jin. He's seen it, after all. ]

I guess that was always my biggest fear. Losing control. Not... caring anymore. I mean, I justify it to myself, but that doesn't make what I do right, does it?

It's... pretty horrible. Just seeing how people react to it...

[ It bothers him. ]

I feel like the very fact it DOESN'T bother me like it should is why it does at all, and that in itself is... not right. But what can I do about it? It's not like anyone who looks at us would UNDERSTAND. They're too...

[ Them. Normal, to get it, really. ]

Normal.

[He spat it out for him, with not a little amount of venom.]

Fuck 'em, frankly. None of the crap we've done is right. The fact that it actually bothers you to some extent... [And his shook his head a bit. He knew Minato was a pretty big softy deep down, but..]

I mean I know we're all worried about losing control, but I didn't know it bothered you like that. Why did you make yourself do it so much?

... I have to.

[ Why else would he? ]

And... maybe, partly, I want to make the sort of people who would hurt others like we were disappear.

[ It's not the best reason, and he admits it with nothing more than a semi-emotionless frown. Even then, it is slight. ]

I always figured that I would rather be the one responsible for any evil among us completely than you guys. Because people don't see us like I do.

[And he let out a noise that was a mix between a scoff and a laugh, flashing a sardonic grin.] Please. You're the most normal one out of all of us, if I really had to guess. Certainly the nicest.

[The smile was gone in the next few seconds however, as his face fell.] We're different, see? After all these years you still give a shit about people. But even with Moros stuck in my head, I don't.

[No, this was stupid. This whole system Minato had tricked himself into. He shook his head and stood up, clenching his fist and looking at the other with conviction.]

So let me deal with it; let me be the firepower and the first line of offense. And if someone has to go down, let me do it. So you don't have to hurt or kill any of these bastards around here. I'm willing to take the flak. [He tightened his fist even more.] In fact, that's what I'm counting on.

I'm not okay with you taking all of that for me, Jin. I'm not. It's my responsibility.

[ That's as plain as he'll get, dammit. It IS his responsibility. All of it. ]

You may not care about what happens to you, but I do.

[He scoffed, setting his hands on his hips. Guess who's not buying it.]

I'm not your responsibility. The only one responsible for me is me, and I can make my own damn decisions. I'm not gonna go kamikaze on this place, but I can do what I want with my life. And as far as I'm concerned, the most useful thing I can do with it now is to help you out.

[ God you're so stubborn, he doesn't...

... Sigh.

He's not even going to say anything. He's just... thinking this through in silence and giving you a look of "well I can't refute it but you'd better not blow yourself up for me or something, dude."

After a long, searching pause, he finds the words he might be looking for, he... thinks. ]

... Then we take care of each other.

[ ... Yeah, he thinks that's it. THOSE ARE HIS CONDITIONS DAMMIT. Like... he has no idea honestly. ]

I'll let you, but only if you let me.

[ Deal? ]

[He met the look, but he was making no promises on the blowing-himself-up-part. As far as he was concerned, if it helped Minato, it was worth it.]

Heh. Have it your way then.

[He unclenched his fist, holding his hand out to Minato and the side of his mouth turning up in a small smile.] I'll be the asshole, you be your dumb over-protective self.

[ ... Ffffff. ]

Sounds about right. Nice to hear you realizing your true calling, Jin.

[ HE IS TEASING if only to lighten the mood-- ]

[Anyone else, and he wouldn't just glared derisively, but since it was Minato-- it got a small chuckle.]

Tch. What can I say? Gotta embrace my true self.

002 || text

perma-actiiiooonnnnn

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject