001 ♠ Voice

[urnotafraid]

So... Let me get this straight. [ Someone sounds grumpy and tired and there's a definite hint of an accent. ] We've been rescued by a group of kind-hearted assholes from Gamma-Beta-Three-A that felt we've just gotta wear collars to match our winning personalities, right? Or am I missing something from the care package left behind in the room?

[ There's a pause filled in with the familiar sound of someone lighting up a cigarette. ]

And I thought this sort of thing only happened in bad movies...

Hey! Anyone around?

Comments

[Voice]

[knightime]

We're actually in a Grade B horror film. The best part about it is that it's all real life time. Everything that's happening to us is straight up legit.

Also, it was a random generator. I can say for sure that more than half the people here have really shitty personalities and it definitely wasn't what got us stuck in this mess.

[Voice]

[urnotafraid]

It's starting to sound better and better. Do we got to dodge zombie wombats too? Cuz if we do, I am so gonna have to take pictures to capture the moment.

Most people got shitty personalities. Just gotta shoot them and move on. Or stuff rags in their mouths to make them shut up.

Got any concrete information about this being real or not?

[Voice]

[knightime]

No zombie wombats, but the place has a suggestion box where you can put in complaints, requests, and the whatever suits your fancy. I don't think people would appreciate if more monsters started appearing though.

The universe part. No. But the stuff that happens to us is real enough. They technically showed us clips of what destroys the universes but a lot of us would think it's a load of shit.

[Voice]

[urnotafraid]

So if I slip them a note that's just one long 'fuck you assholes' they'd just give us more monsters?

Sounds like a load of shit. Who would believe everything's gone just from a bunch of pictures?

[Voice]

[knightime]

Probably not. But you might be able to politely ask for more? Please, can I have some more?

People? You assume everyone is as bright as you are.

[Voice]

[urnotafraid]

I assume people have some common sense. Guess I should remember that a person can be smart but people are dumb animals.

[Voice]

[knightime]

That sure sounded friendly.

People have been here for awhile, so I guess it makes sense when it becomes easier to believe certain things.

[Voice]

[urnotafraid]

Friendly only gets you so far in some places.

[Voice]

[knightime]

Not being friendly isn't going to get you very far here. People kind of hold a lot of resent here.

[Voice]

[urnotafraid]

I'm usually a friendly guy until someone ships me to a weird place and puts a collar around my neck. It makes me a little grumpy.

[Voice]

[knightime]

Oh. Well, looks like you're going to be a little grumpy. The higher ups don't really own up to it and say it was for your sake anyways. Swell guys, aren't they.

[Voice]

[urnotafraid]

Swell.

Well. Thanks anyways.

[Voice]

[knightime]

Good luck. Remember to eat the oatmeal first, just a general rule of thumb. It'll save you a lot of trouble if you just do it.