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.003 ♒ chronicAugustus changed his name to cantgiveAfuck [TEXT]

oh WWell
so much for that
i guess im back noww
id ask wwhat i missed but
Really
wwhy dont i savve us all some time
ha
an just assume shit wwas throwwn into the biggest fan avvailable
good enough?

so
yeah
hi

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yeah about that
lets just say i spent some me time somewwhere that made the fuckin towwer wwonderfuck look pleasant
at least shit Happens here
evvery now an then
unpleasant shit i givve you
but at least its Somethin

oh
im eridan ampora
the jadeblood obvviously
also not the gills an fins douchebag either
if that rings any bells at all

Call it as I see it, bro.

[He actually laughs a little at that.]

Sorry, Jade. Like you too much to do a black pass at ya. Even when you compare me to David and his shithive maggots moods.

Aw don't go shoving your weird ass romance system as me. [Said with quite a bit of exasperation because seriously she still doesn't understand that at all it's weird.]

I'm not looking to solicit you for a hatemance, I'm looking to pound your head back into the ground before you float off the edge of the crazy cliff.

What, but I know you love to hear all about the quadrants and the over complicated ways to fuck them up that even most trolls don't understand.

[Yep, grinning and now hooking a few fangs on his lip to make said grin crooked.]

Ain't any cliff I feel like floating off, Jade. You're overreacting, hon.

Well...then I wish you a warm welcome.

I am called The Signless and I not know who you speak of, but I will be sure to keep knowledge of the gills and fins brute.
I am assuming you mean a sea dwelling troll.

huh
thanks

...thats a title aint it

[Let me rephrase. You're an adult, ain't you?]

yeah
theres another eridan around
wwith gills an fins
but he aint so bad
the one here in the towwer i mean
apparently theres one wwho is
but considerin wwho his asshole a an ancestor is
i see wwhere hed get it from

His ancestor? Can you go on about that?

I'm sorry if I am prying, but I have been wanting to know of others close to my age here and the other ancestors in general.
I managed to meet my own descendent recently.

fuckers gone so i dont mind talkin about it
...wwouldnt really mind talkin about it evven if he still wwere here
come to think about it
not anymore
so i dont knoww if you still care noww that hes gone

anywway
are you
i mean
are you kans or kars?
ancestor
that is

I am still very interested, so you may continue if you so wish.

Karkat.
Pardon, you mean to be telling me there is another troll with my blood color here?

he wwas an asshole
thats pretty much all there is to it

ah
yeah i figured he wwas
i mean
yeah
her names kanaya maryam
in most wworlds shes a jadeblood apparently
but in mine shes got that shade a red

Oh yeah, it's totally the hot button topic, all I want to hear about. Gonna major in it in college. [Somehow more deadpan than her usual deadpan.]

I'm not overreacting. Fuck, you're underreacting or something. People that aren't walking towards the cliff don't grin like a nutcase.

Thank you for that lovely expanse on what I probably could already assume from the mear fact of a sea dwelling troll.
They aren't usually known for their, passive ways.

Ah, a jade blood.
So Miss Kanaya must be the descendent of my dear lusus.

I'll pretend I know what a college is, for the sake of your sick burns.

[He snickers.]

Jade, there's nothing to react to, don't--

[And then he stops. And frowns for a while. Then tilts his head to the side, looking a little less manic, a bit more sad and terribly confused.]

...you've never seen me smile before, have you?

I guess not? You're not exactly a chummy dude and the first time I ever saw you was before you fucking poofed for a month to chill on a dead asteroid.

[H M P H]

actually not really?
i mean
theyre Supposed to be grossly privileged assholes that no one really likes but has to pretend to just so the fuckers wwont get your ass culled
but
really
all seadwwellers ivve met
wwith two memorable exceptions
are kind a really nice
an one a them is barely half a troll anywway so he shouldnt really count
i mean
really
youre a mutant
wwhy do you go around judgin trolls by their bloodcolors
please tell me i aint the only one seein the facepalm material there

shes the---
oh fuck me sidewways wwith a shovvel
youre the dolorosas grub?
Really?

It's not like I meant to leave, you know.

[He shrugs]

Eridan, Really Now.
Is All Of This Necessary?

So what, they just pick you up outta nowhere one day like the fucking sims and drop you in dead wonderland for no fucking reason?

he started it

Pretty much.

That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard.

I ain't making the rules, hon. I'm just another poor sod caught up in them.

[ S H R U G

He ain't even mad about it.]

Well it's fucking dumb!

[SHE IS LEGITLY ANGRY OVER THIS SHUT UP]

What the fuck is with getting roped into stupid bullshit systems? And how the fuck are you so chill about it?

I am not meaning to judge, I'm sure those who you have met are very pleasant, but the only sea dweller I have had come into contact with is her Imperial self.
I am not fond of her ways.
I apologize if I have offended you, but those of a higher blood tend to treat me in a different way, though this is obvious fact.

I am.
She raised me from the caverns.
Is it so hard to believe. What she did was a great sacrifice and I am grateful for it.

REALLY?

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