[video] here have a late intro post. i hope the awfulness makes up for the delay...somehow....

[grannyfucker]

Alright, so I've been here a couple of days already, and I've just got one question.

What's up with all the furries around here? No one told me there'd be one of those creepy comic book sex cult conventions going on in this place!

What is wrong with the people running this place, and why couldn't they have at least mentioned something about this?! Jesus!

((OOC: I will probably be slow on tags after today, BUT I will tag back a few days later! Just need to get a few things sorted after today first.))

Comments

video

[dubiousdisc]

The-- oh my god. [Sollux takes a moment to facepalm.]

[He rubs his hands together and shows the palms to Nathan, then wipes his hands on his shirt.] No smear. No paint.

[He tugs at his horns, hard, and ignores the pain.] No clip. No headband.

[And finally, he sits down in the terminal again, taking off his glasses -- they're not even yellow and black like a normal troll's, but solid charcoal grey.]

It's not a fucking costume.

video

[grannyfucker]

[WOW THIS IS ONE THING HE WAS NOT EXPECTING TO SEE

HE IS LEGITIMATELY KIND OF FREAKED OUT BY THIS]

You got permanent surgery for this shit?!

Ooohhh, Jesus!

I am so sorry

[dubiousdisc]

[AAAAAUUUUUGH!!]

It's not fucking surgery!

Listen to me, you obtuse, narrow-panned piece of alien shit! This horrible mess is actually my fucking body!

[...Whoa. Sollux, dude, calm down. You're making the audio go static.]

compared to what I'm typing, I think you're fine XD

[grannyfucker]

[Okay, he's recovered. We are good to go again now.]

Haha, well, of course it is, it's not like you pay the surgeon to just give you a Halloween costume!

This is the best thread ever, oh my god.

[dubiousdisc]

That was fast.

[He puts his shades back on, still glaring daggers at the screen.]

I'm not sure if this comment makes it better or worse jafiela;efjal;

[grannyfucker]

[Your glares mean nothing to Nathan. He neither cares for nor understands what that expression means.]

So do you have those problems like other people who get extreme surgery? Like those women with the enormous tits [he gestures around his chest as if to cup two invisible gargantuan breasts in his hands] who start squirtin' silicone out of their nipples like water guns?

Re: I'm not sure if this comment makes it better or worse jafiela;efjal;

[dubiousdisc]

[That sure was a twitch there. If Nathan gave enough shits to pay attention, which he likely didn't, the eyebrow gave it away.]

No.

[grannyfucker]

[Even if he did, he wouldn't catch the meaning of it.

In fact, he barely even registers that response at all. He begins rubbing the invisible nipples on his invisible boobs.]

Is that how you pleasure your cow lovers?

[dubiousdisc]

What the fuck, no. Not even close.

[grannyfucker]

Do you milk your silicone breasts while milking their udders, for special bonding time with them?

[dubiousdisc]

Still no.

[He's taken to using a deadpan in order to protect his brain from this stupidity. But, of course, Sollux has never been good at walking away from conversations.]

[grannyfucker]

You must be shit in bed with them, then.

[dubiousdisc]

You're shit in bed without.

[Not that trolls even involve beds in the process, or have beds at all. But.]

[grannyfucker]

Well, I am a big fan of having a good old-fashioned fuck after a delicious, juicy burger.

[dubiousdisc]

My god, can someone get this asshole committed? [Sollux shouts this to the empty library, pointing at the screen.] He's sounding sicker than most goddamn trolls.

[grannyfucker]

[lol whatevs no fucks given]

[dubiousdisc]

[Yeah ok, whatever. Two can play at this game, asshat.]

[grannyfucker]

[but can you truly have less fucks than Nathan?

ARE WE GOING TO ENTER....

THE NEGATIVE FUCK ZONE???]

[dubiousdisc]

[YES.]

[Sollux's first act of negative fuck-giving will be to turn off the feed and go browse the rest of the Network. Look at all the fucks he gives.]

[grannyfucker]

[....welp.]

Oh, come on, now that's just rude!

[dubiousdisc]

[His second act of negative fuck-giving will be, when he finds the message again, to only reply in text. You don't deserve to see his beautiful face.]

nøw yøu cømplaiin abøut rude?