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[givesyouaboner]

_{[If anyone hasn't seen Dirk for a while, it's because he hasn't been here. But he's back now, oblivious to what's been happening in the tower for the past month. The more pressing issue for him at the moment is processing what he's experienced in that wasteland.]}

I refuse to believe that was my home world.

_{[And that's just all he has to say on the matter. What's probably most disconcerting is at this moment, as much as he hates this place, he's glad to be back here. At least here, he's not alone.]}

Comments

[restitchtime]

Congratu-fucking-lations, you've reached a conclusion all on your own. Would you like a round of applause for that stunning opinion or what?

[hey dude what's up good to see you're not crazy or dead]

[givesyouaboner]

Oh, yes please. Praise me. I'm perfectly capable of my own cognitive processes. Who'd have known?

[restitchtime]

Nobody who usually banks on events with more than impossible odds, I'd think. You're basically a god damn walking statistical impossibility now, great job.

[givesyouaboner]

Bitchin'. What can I say; I've always wanted to be a statistical anomaly.


I'm sure you've been making progressive leaps and bounds as well, flooring everyone.

[restitchtime]

It's really goddamn touching that we were all able to witness you finally living the life you'd always dreamed of. That's definitely one for the scrapbooks.

Oh, you know me. Not a day goes by that I'm not making somebody cry from sheer fucking jealousy.

[givesyouaboner]

Make sure I get all the gold stars on that page for it, too.

Atta girl.

[restitchtime]

Sorry, you don't merit that highly. I've got fucking better things to blow my stars on than that - they're a limited resource, after all.

Yeah, I make everybody proud with my efforts. Nothing new.

[givesyouaboner]

Aw man, I'm so disappointed. Can you at least draw them on there? I need to feel validated, gosh.

That's good; I'd hate to have to be disappointed in you.

[restitchtime]

Do I look like your personal therapist? I'm not here to fucking bolster your dying self-esteem.

And I'd hate to have to pretend I actually care about your opinion of me. Works out great for everyone involved, huh?

[givesyouaboner]

My bad! How could I have ever mistaken you for that, really.

Yeah, seriously. I would hate for you to have to succumb to that for my benefit.

[restitchtime]

Guess that trip to the illusion wasteland fucked with your head more than you thought it did. I should be the last person on earth you ever turn to for sympathy.

The day I do that is the day I lose all self-respect and go throw myself into one of the monster floors.

[givesyouaboner]

Clearly. I must have tripped face first into a boulder. I think I have brain damage.

Oh dear. That certainly wouldn't be advantageous of you at all.

[restitchtime]

Pretty sure you had that before you left. All you probably did was make it even worse.

Considering this place and its infinite respawn horseshit it might actually be a pretty fucking great way to teach myself a lesson.

[givesyouaboner]

I'll just have to accept there's no hope for me. My poor disadvantaged brain cells.

Are you waiting for my permission to say have at it or something?

[restitchtime]

Hey, at least you have some. There's a huge mass of poor fucks in this tower who're running on muscle memory and nothing else.

Nah, just weighing my options. Not sure if a trip down morality lane is a good enough reason to spoil my pristine death record.