two. [text]

[orphans]

It has come to my attention that the greater part of you [humans, he means--] remain completely and inconcevviably ignorant of the fundamentals of troll romance. WWhile this is not all together surprising, considering the lack of reading material pertaining to our culture, are you incapable of making any sort of inferences wwhatsoevver? I didn't think it especially difficult to assume an alien species wwould also havve alien customs, nor is observvation from afar a particularly arduous task.
If you still fail to comprehend my forthcoming explanation of a single aspect of our culture, ask a lowwblood to further elaborate; howwevver grueling that may be.

Matespritship is of the flushed quadrant. I expect this to be the easiest for you to grasp, as it is the most similar to human romance. Howwevver, the concept of 'pity' takes more prevvalence. It is concupiscent.
Moirallegiance resides in the pale quadrant. It typically occurs wwhen twwo trolls devvise something of a pact wwith each other in order to counterbalance their traits. As insinuated, one is the instigator, wwhile the other is the pacifier.

[INSTIGATOR OF... WHAT. sure is being inexplicit here]

Kismissitude, in contrast to matespritship, is a rivvalry; though it is also the other of the reproductivve quadrants. It is considered to be caliginous. This seems to be the most difficult for humans to wwrap their thinkpans heads around, as it lacks a more distinct parallel. Consider it synonymous to havving someone you loathe dearly, though also find attractivve-- the description in itself provving to be a markedly shalloww comparison, but that's a necessity. Generally, as it is a rivvalry, it requires the acceptance of equality.
Thus, I suggest you refrain from ostentatious displays of hatred for another of my species here, lest they get the... wwrong idea.

[hint fucking hint. ahem.]

Auspicitization occurs wwhen a third troll intervvenes wwith the relationship abovve. This is to prevvent one another from outright murdering each other, wwhich wwould obvviously vvoid the possibility of a successful filling. It is also to prevvent unitentional infidelity, as a kismissitude can quickly become destructivve to nonparticipants. Its quadrant is the ashen one.
And this concludes the summarization of a sypnopsis.

As for the lesser of the trolls here: Do go on embarrassing yourselvves wwith your purposeful naivveté; it isn't as if there is an entire exposition of the superficiality of human culture in the form of a library a feww floors awway.

[locked to agoodoffen2e]
Some questions regarding your flawwed reality. I suggest you answwer them.

Comments

[ocariness]

[ ....... WOW Link hates you, smug asshole, and is fairly sure this HAS to be Dualscar bluh. ]

You all but implied your false superiority.
You'd do well to remember that arrogance lends itself folly.
Though it seems to me that it might also be well enough to remember others here may not exactly have the intent you think, as well.

It is not always their fault if they do not understand your people's ways, is it?

[orphans]

I'm unawware of such, only of execrable wworms and their penchant for implying the foolishly theoretical.
And wwhat is that intent, precisely? Care to enlighten me, since you seem to be on such an awwe-inspiring roll?

[yep, pretty sure he knows who this is. and alas, right on to mocking her heroics!!]

This wwould be the purpose of the entire post, yes.

[ocariness]

[ Face, meet palm. Too bad you can't see it, Douchefins. ]

... You aren't joking, are you.

Fine, if I must explain it in plain terms, then I shall.

[ She hates talking more than necessary, sigh, but whatever. ]

My point is that just because someone of another species happens to mistakenly do something suggesting they are trying to send you signals does not mean they did, in fact, have that intent, and that you ought to give them the benefit of the doubt irregardless, but I suppose that is impossible for you?

... And if you didn't want interspecies romance, then you would be wise not to be so violent with people or angry in the first place. They may not fully comprehend that. It is not their fault you are highly incompetent at actually understanding other species.

[orphans]

I kneww THAT due to wwhat I'vve read.
I wwill admit: No matter my levvel of disinterest, before becoming more acquainted wwith the subject of human reproduction, I remained unsure of your exhibitions.
To be quite frank, I'm sure the idea of a black romance betwween the twwo of us sickens you almost as much as it sickens myself.
No, Hylian. This is a wwarning to prompt you to put that neglected thinkpan of yours to use, and realize I'm not the only troll wwithin the towwer wwho may get the wwrong idea-- howwevver likely it is I'm the only ENLIGHTENED one.

[ocariness]

... Oh, don't mistake me, I have no intention of anything between us.

... It doesn't thrill me, but regardless, at least someone has bothered to say something about this. Even if it had to be you.

[orphans]

And I'm glad to hear it. Sincerely.
You're wwelcome.

[ocariness]

[ LENGTHY PAUSE............. ]

... Thank you, I suppose.

[ Annnd that is the end of this. Link is logging off! ]