5th Time in Text

[knightime]

how many times have you gone back quote unquote home?
this would be my second time going back
also how long do you get sent back for
both times for me it was like a fucking month
god a fucking month of this shit where you have nothing to do
do you even realize how boring that is?
its like making angels in the fucking ground pretending its actually fun
i assume making snow angels is the shit
but tv programming could be a lying fuck
i only saw snow once and we kind of had shit to do
its cold anyways and why the fuck would you like snow
because freezing your ass off is so much fun
but thats not the point
im back i guess

...
it feels emptier than usual

Comments

[knightime]

Oh my god. I don't even like smuppets, Bro. I fucking hate them, okay? They creep the shit out of me. [Except he kept them on his bed when he had them.] Puppets creep the fuck out of me.

I don't know. I don't really want anything. There isn't anything here I'd care to get that you could help me with.

[plushaeusrumpified]

That hurts, Dave. That hurts a whole fucking lot.

[Can you hear the heartbreak in his deadpan? It's there. Just search for it.]

Have you forgot that I can do pretty much anything? If you want something- anything- I could make it happen. You should have more faith in me than that.

[knightime]

I can see it now. Your little diary full of sob stories at how I just don't understand the appeal of creepy lifeless shit staring at me on a daily basis.

[Deadpan and Striders are basically OTP.]

What if I don't want your help with this? I can do it myself. [He can deal with his girl problems on his own. Not that...he's gonna tell you it's a girl or anything.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

I've already written several novels on it in my head, they're just waiting to be put to paper.

[The biggest OT3.]

But I wanna help you with it, so you don't really have a choice. Besides, why wouldn't you want help with it?

[knightime]

I can see where Rose got her weird hobbies from oh so suddenly.

[Not sure if being serious or teasing.]

Because I don't plan on asking her out, so there's nothing to help wi-oh fuck.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm going to take that as a compliment.

[But when Dave speaks next, thats fucking it.]

Oh my god.

[knightime]

If it makes you sleep at night.

[Dave's life is officially over.]

Oh my fucking god. I said nothing. You heard nothing. It was a figment of your imagination. So how's the weather. If cold was your answer, than you're correct. This place is fucking cold. So how's the food been? I wouldn't know so I wanted your opinion on it. [Attempt to change subject. The series.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Yeah, sorry Dave. He's entirely focused on that thing you let slip, he doesn't even realize the bad think you let slip.]

No, there's virtually no way you're getting out of this one. Who is she? What's her name? Why the fuck are you not going to ask her out? C'mon, dude. You want the V? You should go get the fucking V.

[knightime]

[Dave attempts to abscond.

Is his attempt, successful? Probably not. But nope, nope, nope. Not having this conversation, oh fuck.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Ha. Haha. Hahahahaha. You think you can get away? Fuck that, he saw your attempt coming a mile away and he steps in front of Dave in time to block him, taking him by the shoulders and holding him firmly in place.]

Come the fuck on, I've been waiting for this day like my entire life. Or at least ever since you started hitting puberty. So tell me who the hell it is, bro.

[knightime]

[Sobbing. All the mental sobbing is happening. He might even shed a single tear, except not really.]

It's no big deal. It's just a stupid crush, Bro. [Stubborn runs in the Strider family.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Nope, not good enough. It's not just a stupid crush- or maybe it is, I mean, I really dunno. But the point is it's a stupid crush that matters.

[He's not giving in, goddamn it. He's WAITED FOR THIS. He wants to know who it is really badly.]

Tell meeee.

[knightime]

[But Dave doesn't want to talk about it.] But it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm gonna tell her. [Bro, please stop. He is not ready for this. Relationships in the Tower is scary.]

You're making a big deal out of nothing, Bro.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm not making a big deal out of nothing, I'm making a big deal out of a huge deal. So in fact, I'm making less of a deal out of it than I could be. So there. Besides, it doesn't matter if you don't intend on telling her. I just wanna know. You can trust me with this knowledge, Dave. Your secret is safe with me.

[He's preemptively crossing his fingers where Dave can't see, because fuck if he won't try and matchmake at some point or another.]

[knightime]

It's not even a huge deal! I'll get over it and everyone can live their lives not having to be awkward because a friend of yours liked you when they don't like them back. [Dave making subtly jabs at himself. The series.]

Her name is Naminé. There. Now you know who it is.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Namine. Finally he has a name. Hell yes.]

Isn't she the one who was talking about hearts and shit the one time on my post when I asked people about your birthday, back when you were in wastelandville? Shit, dude. She's a total keeper. Why the fuck are you not gonna make a move? She'd totally go for you!

[knightime]

I don't know? Why did you tell people about my birthday anyways? Mother of fuck. [He shrugs a bit, and he looks kind of like a kicked puppy.] I don't think she'd say yes to me. It's not a big deal, Bro. She probably already has someone who's been here longer than me who she likes more.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Because you wouldn't have, and people needed to know it was your fuckin' birthday. [He says it like it's the most obvious thing ever.] And that's bullshit, Dave. Ain't no way anybody could like anyone else more than they like you. You're a Strider. Striders naturally come first. So quit with that line of thinking right now.

[knightime]

I don't see why. What's the point celebrating your birthday when there's jack shit. [Your reasoning is dumb, Bro.] You know that's a load of crock. Tell me one reason why someone would want to fall for me. [It was funny before. To be the shit and say you're covered with bitches. Now? It's just kind of sad, especially in this place.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro just gives him pretty much the flattest stare in the history of flattest stares. Any flatter and it'd practically be a disabled ramp.]

You say it like there isn't a reason. If I were to name every goddamn reason, we'd probably be here several hours. I'm actually half tempted to do that just to hammer in the point that you're not as worthless as you seem to think you are.

[knightime]

[I laughed really hard just now.]

I can't protect anyone here. There's nothing I can do here that can help anyone here. I can't even use my time powers all that well. It gets blocked after a certain amount of time, and this place can shut off our skills without warning. Not being able to properly finish a stable time loop when I know I can is like some really huge middle finger at my face.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Yes, good.]

What the hell does any of that do with somebody liking you? News flash, Sburb wasn't always a thing, and you had likeable qualities then, too. You don't need to protect people or make stable time loops for a girl to like you, Dave. That's ridiculous, and you're being ridiculous right now.

[knightime]

I'm not being ridiculous. I have nothing to offer in this place. I'm going to be the worst significant other who's gonna let everyone starve cause the proverbial bacon is never coming.

Even if I have likeable qualities, that doesn't mean she'll like me back anyways. I'm pretty sure she doesn't.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He honestly couldn't roll his eyes any harder if he tries. And after he rolls them, he's just going to walk over and then slap Dave upside the head.

And then he does it again, because he's decided to reenact a scene from the Incredibles like the most mature adult in the history of the world. He hits him again and again as he yells,]

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!

[Jesus Christ. At least he wasn't hitting too hard, though. It was mostly a joke.]

Seriously, you're a Strider. Stop with the downing yourself bullshit and have some confidence. Why do you think that she wouldn't? That's the most bullshit thing I've ever heard. Stop. Just stop. You're the raddest motherfucker I've ever seen and she would be downright lucky to have you. So shut the fuck up with the insecurity bullshit and ask her the fuck out!

[knightime]

Ow.

[Oh hello. This is a Bro lecture. Dave just shuts up. Yep. Alright. Cool.]

Why does it matter if she does or not? Let's say I ask and she says yes. Okay, cool. Who's to say I won't disappear soon after. What if she does instead?

[He's scared. Scared of people disappearing. It's become such a constant in his life being here and he really doesn't want to be.] It hurts a hell of a lot. Getting up and checking the usual rooms and their names aren't listed anymore. That can happen to her. It can happen to me or you. [He doesn't want to end up being with someone only to lose them in that way.]