animus_network | 011 ♑ [eleventh honk/video]

Content Warning: Thread with Tavros got smutty I really can't believe I'm putting this right in the OP but the general public has a right to be warned.

[The feed clicks on, revealing an extremely wide, extremely frantic purple eye.]

[After a few seconds, the features surrounding said eye come into view, as the operator of the video backs up. And backs up a little more.]

[It's a gargantuan troll. Everything about him looks like it's been blown well out of reasonable proportion. His shoulders took up the width of the screen, and the way he hunched over couldn't have been anything but uncomfortable. His face was painted up like a monotone clown - all dark smudges against stark white. The design hadn't changed much in the sweeps he'd spent here. What was your face was your face, no matter how you felt about it. The paint was what he was born with, the design was a part of him - one thing in life that couldn't be done on a whim.]

[Most of that face, however, was obscured by the most absurd mane of hair imaginable. It exploded from his head in a mass of mats and twists and curls, getting in his eyes and mouth before running down his neck and past his shoulders. It was reminiscent of vines taking over a building - crawling up and threatening to engulf the two massive, spiraling horns that sprouted from his head.]

[For being as giant as he was, Gamzee had been lacking in the brute strength department - a solitary physical trait he failed to inherit from his ancestor. His limbs and neck were thick, but not as thick as they could or should be. His hands rivaled the size of dinner plates, but the fingers on them remained knuckles and spindle.]

[Now that both manic eyes were visible, as well as a decent amount of the rest of him, Gamzee's dark lips parted to speak, revealing terribly sharp and terribly disgusting fangs. Plucking a vial of dark purple liquid from his pants pocket, he held it up to the camera.]

All you magnanimous motherfuckers, please to be all popping the most righteous of motherfuckin' squats at the terminal and start bestowing on to your wicked brother all what's knowledge holy you up and got in those inferior thinkpans 'bout the matter what all is at being your mother fucking blood.

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[He needed to be evasive. Needed some distraction to take the focus off of him for a second. He felt... he didn't know how he felt about using their relationship to his advantage, but he bent forward to take one of Karkat's hands in his. Running the pad of his thumb over the welts on those knuckles, he tut-tutted at the boy and drew his eyebrows up in mock-concern.]

Lemme take care of this.

[ Karkat knows this move too. he's done it himself plenty of times. either not having a response to something said or not wanting to reflect upon it means that a redirect is needed. it's how he's dealt with insecurities and people calling him out on shit up until growing out of it. mostly. ]

I'll take care of it later.

[ just going to tug his hand back now. ]

[Fine. Take your hand. He's going to stand there with his hand lifted as if it were still holding Karkat's. His gaze is distracted and tired.]

[He says nothing.]

[ Karkat will wait in the silence. for a little bit. hoping that something gets said. he knows that he can't be those moirails in the movies or books that do everything right. that are successful and there is nothing unsaid between them. that's not how real life is. not unless you're Equius and Nepeta. Karkat knows that, but it doesn't make it any better. maybe they can't be moirails content to talk about the nuances of life and being in the Tower. Karkat just wants to be the forefront of thought. not the convenience.

if nothing is said, he'll just let it go. because that's how it always is. there's no point in screaming and yelling if nothing's ever going to be accomplished. if no words come from those disgusting fangs, Karkat will just pat his stupid moirail's cheek and walk away to clean his hands.

what else could he do? even if he's just the little lifesaver in the ocean, at least he's still important. ]

[There's not a lot running through his mind right now. Usually it's buzzing with thoughts or questions or musings or what have you. Right now, it's blank. He vaguely wonders if he can summon up enough emotion to say something right. He then realizes he can't summon up shit, and that he has no idea what the fuck to say.]

[There is really nothing left for him to do. He's ready to just give up. If he gives up, it sentences Karkat to a life of significantly less burden, but unreasonable misery. It sentences Gamzee to a "life" of insanity and a downward spiral that would end with him losing himself entirely.]

Karkat.

[The corners of his mouth tugged down of their own accord. God damn, did he feel helpless.]

I don't know what to do.

[ that's probably the most heartbreaking and yet hopeful thing Karkat has heard in a long time. he releases a breath he had been holding. like a breaking point and yet everything is still so fragile.

Karkat takes Gamzee's hand in his. lips tug up a little. this is what it needs to be. moirails being completely who they are with each other. they've been doing this stupid game for so long, it's no surprise really that it's come to this. that neither one really knows what to do. ]

You sure do know how to break someone completely, you know that?

[ Karkat tugs on that hand, signaling Gamzee to follow. now he might really let Gamzee take care of it. while talking. ]

[Yeah, he does know that. He knows it too well.]

Heh.

[Trailing behind Karkat, his shoulders slumped. It was uneasy, feeling this submissive. Not taking the lead, not having control. It's what he'd been trying to instate this whole time. Security. Control. If he was able to pull the strings with everything else, he could forget about the lack of control he had over his own mind.]

You don't fuckin' say.

[ his thumb rubs along Gamzee's hand. Karkat is just walking back towards his room. mostly because that's where he keeps his storage of personal medical supplies. ]

Mmm.

Can you help me with my hands anyway? If you don't want to now, it's all right.

[Gamzee follows him without question, mainly because his mind has booted back up and is now yammering a mile a minute, anywhere from whispers to shouts.]

Huh?

[His head bobbed up, at attention, now. The free hand that had been absently placed against his lips fell to his side as they continued towards the room.]

Oh, sure.

[Such a conversationalist.]

[ a little sigh. does Gamzee even pay attention? Karkat rubs at his temple just a bit. maybe he shouldn't have tried to ease the tension at that point.

blarg. needs to stop screwing things up. yes, yes he really does. ]

[Karkat, honey, it's not you screwing shit up, believe me.]

[Well, this is an awkward lovey-dovey stroll.]

[...]

[Gamzee retrieves a booger from his nose and flicks it at the wall of the hallway.]

We there yet.

Am I not allowed to get stuff from my trunk? Because I trust what I have collected over the years instead of...

Well instead of the alternative.

Edited 2013-01-18 15:56 (UTC)

[Gamzee popped his neck.]

'Course you are.

[He was trying to get himself back into the mindset he had a few moments ago. Put his trust in Karkat. He was his best friend. Why the fuck was that so difficult!? Why did he feel the need to pick and choose so meticulously what information his moirail was allowed to know?]

[Information control was one of the most gratifying forms of control. It gave him a high clearer than sopor. Besides that, what Karkat didn't know wouldn't hurt him.]

Exactly, so unless you want to pick me up and give me a piggy back ride, we have to walk at my pace.

011 ♑ [eleventh honk/video]

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