animus_network | Because This Will Surely End Well... [Video]

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Because This Will Surely End Well... [Video]

[Lancer is slowly getting better at this network thing, though he still doesn't know how to do anything fancy with it and doesn't really like it. He would much rather be talking to people face to face, but he knows in this case, that is just not a feasible option. Not if he wants to find what he's looking for in an acceptable amount of time.

The face that greats the network this afternoon is somewhat pale and uncertain, though very focused on his task.]

Forgive my intrusion, but I was wondering if I could ask for some assistance from the residents here. After last week's experiment, I would like to try and find a few things to gift to others. I arrived shortly before the experiment started and so, I'm afraid I don't really know where to start looking for these things.

Specifically what I'm looking for are things related to tea and serving it, but I'm open to other suggestions if you have them. I don't have a whole lot since I'm new, but I am a skilled fighter among other things and very willing to offer my services in trade for any assistance I receive.

I thank you all in advance for your help. It is greatly appreciated.

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(OOC: This post is open to anyone who would actually like to help Lancer with his task, but also to people whose characters would like to troll, hurt, or otherwise take advantage of this poor sap who apparently still hasn't learned his lesson about being so trusting.)

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I'm fine.

[The answer is quick--to quick--to be believable. Lancer should have realized his roommate would just shrug things off. It's how the man seems to work.

It's just too bad Lancer himself can't do that.]

Thank you for the information. I don't suppose you have a name for him, do you? It would make things easier.

...Don't push yourself too much.

[He scratches his head.]

Can't think of any off the top of my head.

I'm fine. You didn't hurt me that badly.

[He looks away from his roommate and then adds very quickly under his breath.]

Besides, I deserved it. So, don't worry. It's not important.

I won't worry about it if you aren't worrying about it.

[Lancer could chalk everything up to the experiments messing with people easily enough.]

And no, you didn't deserve that. It never would've happened if the Tower hadn't turned you into that, and nobody deserves to get hit with something like that.

Then don't.

[The words are flat because it's a lie. While Lancer doesn't want his roommate to worry about him, he would like to talk to him about what happened. He just doesn't know how.]

I will call it an omen and warning and heed it as such. I was considering something before, now I am not. It's as simple as that.

[He raises an eyebrow.]

Why? You didn't seem to like what you became. So why even consider it?

[Lancer shakes his head.]

No, I didn't! Why would I want to be that? That is why I'm taking it as an omen. Before this all happened I was thinking of changing something about myself because people thought it might make me happier. If I do that, it might very well be the first step toward becoming what I was during the experiment. I won't risk that so I will just stay how I am now. It's...for the best anyway.

I think you're fine now the way you are.

[Nice, honest, and honorable. Pretty strong too given the shit that he went through during his Grail War. Lancer could definitely respect that in another person.]

What, someone actually had a problem with you?

Not a problem, per say, but thought I would be happier if I relaxed a little bit and allowed myself to be more selfish.

[Lancer pauses a moment and closes his eyes. He has to repress a shiver as he thinks about where that selfishness had led him.]

She meant well, but she seemed to have a real issue with my loyalty and honor. A violent issue one could even say.

[Sadly, he actually has an idea of who that person could be.]

I'll talk to her.

In the end, you're the one who knows what makes you happy, right? You don't have to do what she says.

I know, I know. It's just...

[He pauses, not sure how to explain this to someone like his roommate. Finally, after several moments, he takes a deep breath and continues.]

I used to be okay just living for others and doing whatever my master wanted. Something woke up in me when I was betrayed in my war and that something is now at odds with the rest of me. It's tired of me getting stepped on because I put others first. It wants me to put myself first instead.

That's the part she wanted me to give a chance to and that's the part that I know now I cannot. There is too much risk of me becoming...that.

I don't want to cause any trouble. She was merely trying to find a way for us to reach some kind of accord since we both know some of the same people. I'm afraid it's just not going to happen especially since I seem to remind her of something she would rather forget from her home.

[He listens, and then takes a long time to answer. What Diarmuid was saying reflected on himself, and on all the other Servant.]

It should be possible to serve others while putting yourself first. As long as you know that sometimes what you want is different from what your Master wants, or what orders are bad enough that they don't deserve to be followed. It's not really a surprise that you'd want to try giving up on living for others because of how much your Master fucked with you.

[The surprising part is that he hadn't outright given up yet. Then again, Diarmuid was a hero.]

But your honor is important too, right? I mean, for people like us, it's still part of us no matter how loose it is. So living for yourself means upholding your honor in whatever way you like too. For one thing, actually choosing a worthy Master. Anyways, you've been pretty good about it so far, so just do as you've been doing. If I see you slipping toward becoming that thing, I'll slap you back to normal.

[He means it this time. He'll keep an eye on his roommate.]

...Maybe you guys should just avoid each other. I'll tell her that.

That may be for the best. I did try to tell her that, but she was insistent. Then she got a 'taste' of me and that didn't help. Servants apparently taste different from normal humans for one such as her.

[Lancer rubs the back of his head somewhat embarrassed and switches topics, though this one also makes him uncomfortable.]

That is part of my problem. I used to believe that as long as it was my master's will, it was right. Honor didn't play into things because, of course, his actions would be honorable.

Then I met him and that changed. I had to sacrifice all of my honor to follow a master who didn't believe I was loyal to him. I literally had nothing left once he betrayed me. I...

[He pauses and shakes his head.]

I need to find a good master this time, that is all. You aren't the only one to tell me that. And while she would have me stand on my own, I don't know that I can do that. I ...need too much.

[He winces. The matter with Catarina sounds complicated. He decides to just go along with the other Lancer's change of subjects.]

And there's nothing wrong with that. Hell, I need someone to keep me in line half the time. Just a shame that your first Master was shit.

[Again, he had to appreciate his own luck when it came to Masters.]

Catarina's not your Master either, so don't let her control you.

[It was one line that Lancer kept drawn in all of his relationships, though thankfully it hadn't come up between him and Catarina yet.]

Edited 2013-01-22 00:15 (UTC)

[Lancer actually blushes a little at that.]

A lot of people who meet me want to control me and I suppose my nature doesn't help with that. She is really no different than anyone else in that light. She was very frustrated when I wouldn't let her have more than that taste, though. Unfortunately, it's not so easy for me and after what I have been through, it's a line I won't budge on.

[He laughs, nervously.]

I think she expected me to hate her for what she did and her insistence, but I don't judge and she was really no danger to me. Please, keep an eye on her. She is troubled and I know she trusts you even if she won't admit it to herself.

Edited 2013-01-22 00:36 (UTC)

[He gives an eager nod.]

Of course. She's a good woman even if we've got some differences. Besides, it's not as if you or I are the only Servants here. Last I heard, she and Saber were getting along as well.

Edited 2013-01-22 00:41 (UTC)

Yes, her Saber. I kind of figured that out the hard way. Now if only she would figure it out for herself.

[He rubs at his neck and winces at the memory.]

What is it with you and her going for my neck anyway? Are you two trying to mark me or something?

[Now it's Lancer's turn to look embarrassed.]

...Hell if I know. She went for my neck once too. Guess it's just her instincts or something.

[They both went for the neck, but for different reasons. Catarina to maximize the damage, and Lancer to limit it.]

The thing she inherited from her father...

[He says it very quickly and quietly under his breath.]

She hates it, but mention Saber and it will be there. At least, if I mention Saber. I don't know if it's the same with you. I think she thinks I'm a threat to her or something.

[He sighs and shakes his head.]

I don't know. I mean, I have an idea, but it's not something I'm going to talk about here. She will probably finish what she started that day if I do.

...What, she talked about him with you?

[She hadn't mentioned her father even to Lancer. Though, hearing Diarmuid say she hated it might explain matters.]

No, she never did that to me when we were speaking about Saber.

[Not when she was sane, anyways.]

Sounds like a good decision.

[Lancer nods.]

Not a lot, but I suspect I angered her even more than you did though I didn't mean to. We seem to have a talent for finding just the wrong things to say to each other.

Anyway, I also hate my birth father. Perhaps something in her could tell I would understand and wouldn't pry for anymore information than she wanted to give.

[He fixes his roommate with a stern look.]

Do not mention that to anyone else, please. She probably doesn't want that information spread around. I shouldn't have said it out in the open like this to begin with. I hope she won't be too angry with me.

Don't worry. Both of your secrets are safe with me. Now, can you promise me something in return?

Thank you, though I'm not so worried about my secret--if it can be called that--as hers.

[Lancer tilts his head, curious.]

What?

...You mind keeping all that stuff I said to you during the experiment a secret?

[He shouldn't have to ask this, but he just wants to be extra careful. The things he had said were subjects that he wasn't comfortable talking about yet.]

Of course, you need not even ask.

[If for no other reason than he can't imagine himself talking about most of that stuff with anyone but his roommate.]

But speaking of all that, I still owe you a week. Let me know when you need me to so something for you and I'll do it.

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oh yes, this'll turn out well

Danger, Lancer Robinson, Danger....

Re: Danger, Lancer Robinson, Danger....

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