eight ♓ video;

[cullscuttlefish]

[Feferi generally manages a smile for the network, even when things aren't going well. This time? She's not even trying to smile. She looks a mess now, though. Her hair's unkempt, like she's been tearing her hands through it, and she looks like she's thrown herself on the ground and cried for a while, then come back to one of the terminals and continued to cry.]

Ruana, you bitch. You took away - you - you -

[She breaks down in sobs again, finally catching her breath after a minute.]

There's a fresh grave with my matesprit's name on it and there are hearts everywhere. You are just throwing all of this crap right in my face, and it's probably giving you some sick kind of enjoyment. You probably watched when I went down there and cried and screamed and you laughed.

I don't care what you did to me last month and how it was supposed to teach me that I couldn't get past you or something. After the crap you pulled at the wedding and after you did this?

I will be hoping that you find someone and develop feelings for them. And then? I will hope that something happens to them, so that when you cry? I can find you and kick you when you're down. Over and over and over again, in your fucking face.

[The threat doesn't seem to help. Feferi just breaks down into tears again, hugging herself loosely until she composes herself enough to speak again]

I...I need some time. I'm sorry, to anyone I said I'd go exploring with. I just...I can't do it. Not now.

Comments

[wweh]

[He gladly accepts her into his arms. At least he's good at that. Or he'd like to think so.]

I'm sorry...I never got to meet him.

[He won't say it was because he was constantly jealous of the guy.]

[cullscuttlefish]

I just...it was always easier to keep smiling knowing that I had someone smiling with me. Who didn't tell me to can it with the puns, who always laughed no matter how silly they got, who'd sing for me or find some way to distract me or get me to play a game when I felt bad. And just - when things got bad? Really bad? He died trying to protect me. I learned that thing with the water from him, when that whole thing happened.

[Whoops. Sudden tear cascade, get.]

I know that he wouldn't want me to cry like this, but it just...it really hurts.

[wweh]

[God, this guy sounds like someone he could never fill the shoes of. He tries to brush off those feelings and be there for her, but it's hard. it's hard and he doesn't understand. All he can really do is hug and try to calm her...]

It's hard... it's hard an' I don't understand. It's okay to cry though, I've done it enough times over losin' someone...

[cullscuttlefish]

[And cry she does. Her words come out in short bursts, through sobs.]

I don't understand it, either. If this was something about breaking some kind of rule on my end, then they've got a thousand ways they could punish me. But this...I got the monsters under my bed, I got a month of thinking it had been sweeps and sweeps that I'd been here and nothing changed, I got a month of being subjected to a constant loop of all of the worst things that have happened to me here.

What the hell else could they possibly want from me? This? Taking away someone I love as a punishment? What's next, taking you away just to see how much I snap?

[wweh]

[and he keeps her in his arms for awhile, gently shooshing her. This is one of the first times he feels he's ever been taken seriously as a moirail, and that's... actually helping him accomplish what he's supposed to do here. Especially when he hears what she said.]

I certainly hope not they're not gettin' me without a fight. I'd say in my expertise it was black solicitation but this is way fuckin' worse than that.

Just gotta keep smilin'. It's how you got through everythin' back home an' its how you're gettin through it here.

[cullscuttlefish]

Can you not make this about that right now? I don't - the admins of this place do not want to make me their kismesis. Ruana does not want me to be her hate-girlfriend, and I'd sooner kill her slowly and painfully than be hers. Okay?

[She didn't mean to snap. She really didn't, and she goes limp again after she says that.]

Sorry. I just - I can't. I really, really can't. And I don't even think I can smile.

[wweh]

[Well, Eridan shrinks a little. Great, he seems to fail at even being a good moirail.]

At least you can rest easy knowin' I'm not goin' anywhere an' if they wanna take me away they're gonna have to be doin' it by force.

Dualscar wouldn't be givin' in without a fight an' neither will I.