breath one | text

[longwinded]

[Say hello to John Egbert. Say hello to John Egbert's angry texts.]

all questions aside about what the hell is going on here.
who broke my hammer?
because that is just messed up.

[He sends another out a few moments later.]

who is even seeing this?
hi i'm john.
to anyone out there.

Comments

[longwinded]

[Heck no he sat on the bed looking at himself for at least half an hour.]

Ugh, gross.

[He looks at his hammer in disdain. He should really try to find someone who knows how to use the forge to try and fix it.]

I'm fifteen. Yes, that sounds like a spectacular idea, one way ticket to burning the shit out of myself.

[knightime]

Exactly. You got to be pretty weird to want that.

[Dave is used to having a broken sword, so he never bothers to get it repaired.]

Well, we can still check the workshop out if you want or we can do whatever you want. Seriously, there's like a bajillion floors. If there's something you want to do, it's probably possible here. Unless you haven't gotten the low down, I can also give you that. Seriously. Plenty of shit for me to help you with. I'm like a senior here or whatever.

[longwinded]

Why would anyone want that? But I'm sure it's happened on more than one occasion.

[But broken swords are still sharp. He guesses he could use the top spike on his hammer to stab people? Or monsters. Whatever.]

I guess we can check the workshop out. I won't fix my hammer this time I guess, I'll probably look for someone who can actually use the tools to fix it. But after that, take me somewhere interesting. I don't care where. Show me stuff you like to do, I dunno. You're my bro, I'm pretty sure I'll dig anything you like.

[He pauses.] How long have you been here?

[knightime]

Dude. People got their kinks. If it's a weird thing, it's some fetish to someone. Don't think it isn't.

[Dave does like pointy things. Pointy things are cool. Swords are fucking cool.]

My dream come true. I finally get to play the role of Tinkerbell and take you on a magical tour through the torture tower. My life is complete. I can die happy. Fuck, might shed a single tear even. But seriously, this place is so fucking huge you'll kill time just seeing each floor. I wouldn't recommend actually exploring every single floor though. Some might kill you. Like the entire fucking point is for you to die.

Over a year. Had my birthday. Oh shit. Second April we get to try and hold a shitty Birthday bash for the Johns. That's rad. Too bad Jason fucked us over in terms of food again.

[longwinded]

Oh gross. I don't even want to think about that, that shit makes my stomach turn.

[Oh Dave. He knew you were a dork, but.]

Well, Rose made me promise to try not to die? SO I guess I'm going to try my damnedest not to get caught by some idiotic trap or a scary monster. [He's only laughing because he's truthfully unsure of what to make of this.] I assume then you know what floors aren't going to mutilate me, right?

Jason is uh, one of those admin people? I'l, probably figure that out eventually, and why that sounds bad.

[knightime]

Haha, don't be such a fucking pussy. It's just a kink.

[Rude.]

Yeah. It would be nice if you didn't die. That would actually be really great. I mean, we got the advantage of God Tier here, but I wouldn't abuse it if possible. Just putting that out there.

I wouldn't call it dying persay. We kind of die and get put into a new body. So it's like the same old shitty soul with a nice new not fucked up body. [Dave shrugs.] Yeah. I can probably write you a list even. Which floors are bad and you shouldn't even bother. Which floors are kinda cool. I mean, in the end, it also depends who's there at the time too.

Yeah. Basically everyone hates him and Ruana. Our favorite Tower caretaker kind of got eaten by Ruana.

[longwinded]

[He is making the most unimpressed face at you Dave. He's doing that right now. Do you see it?]

Well, I can't promise that I won't die. Because I know I've died before and what happens when I die here? As long as it isn't something stupid I'll be okay.

Kind of die. [John rolls his eyes.] Dave that sounds kind of out there, but hey. You've been here longer so I assume you know what the hell you're talking about. [Such a loyal friend.] Well, if you want to go through the trouble I won't stop you.

[......wha.] Eaten?

[knightime]

I can't promise you won't die either. I can't promise I won't die. No one can promise they can't die. Dying here is like a fucking initiation. Welcome to the Tower. You've died. But if you're god tier, that still applies. Otherwise, you wake up back in bed with sleep paralysis.

[Dave starts walking though.] I watched it happen. We're usually not allowed in the area, but we were able to get access. Too bad it was at the expense of the only guy here that gave a shit. And I have a lot of downtime. Don't worry.

Yeah.

[longwinded]

Hooray, dying for everyone. Not that it sounds cool or anything. Actually it sounds pretty shitty if you ask me. Not that I'm gonna be reckless because I'm god tier or anything, sounds like it could backfire in half a second. [John doesn't like the sleep paralysis thing. It's not cool.]

You need more stuff to do then, we can do stuff while we're both here. Stuff that won't make us bored out of our skulls.

Man, that poor guy.

[knightime]

Thanks for being a real bro about it. I can not sleep at night knowing my best bro isn't gonna try and kick the bucket for shits and giggles. [It doesn't help all that much. Because those are the deaths he's not even worried about.]

There's plenty of floors, but it still gets a little dull at times. [And lonely.]

[longwinded]

Rest easy man. Rest easy. [John isn't necessarily worried about dying right now. He thinks he's going to be just fine.]

Whoa man. With you and I together, as best bros. Nothing is going to get dull anymore.

[knightime]

Well, it can either end with us being never bored or we can enjoy each others' company while our brains rot. Seriously. You'd be surprised. [When things aren't terrible and all you wanna do is cry and never leave your bed.]

[longwinded]

Well. We can only sit back and wonder what happens, right? I'm sure we've got many months or years here to sit back and reflect and how much there isn't to do.

[John hasn't even experienced the worst yet, sigh.]

[knightime]

I'm hoping years isn't actually gonna be how long we're stuck here. This ain't exactly my idea of home.

[longwinded]

It isn't my idea of home either. But what we have to go back to isn't exactly the ideal home either.

[knightime]

I guess. Not that I know much passed what everyone has told me. For all I know, I just start living at the Green Sun from my point in time.

[longwinded]

I passed out on my fucking sidewalk, I think. The world was pretty dark. But that is pretty hardcore man. Living it up on the green sun and all.

[knightime]

Good job, John. You never cease to amaze me with the stupid shit that happens to you.

Man, That sounds pretty shitty though. I would not want to live there for the rest of my life. I would take the shitty death by explosion and staying dead than that.

[longwinded]

Thanks, it really is my specialty to find the stupidest situations to be in. For example, the sidewalk! Also here. Ending up here was a stupid thing that happened. It needs to cease being a thing.

[He laughs.]

Man, I think you're overreacting a little bit. We could totally get you out of living on the green sun.

[knightime]

It can stop being a thing. This wouldn't be the first time you disappeared from this shithole.

[Just like the iterations of Roses and Jades that have gone by too.]

I'm sure you would just love to make a pit stop there. Now leaving for Green Sun. ETA is probably some stupid amount of time.

[longwinded]

I wouldn't leave without you. That would be plain stupid. So don't count on me leaving again.

[He's a true bro, okay??]

I mean if Jade could steer us that way, sure thing.

[knightime]

You don't exactly get a say. I'm pretty sure people don't exactly just ask to leave and they get tossed out.

Shit. Jade. [He hasn't seen their version of Jade in awhile...]

[longwinded]

But do we know that for sure? [He snickers.]

Yeah, Jade is pretty badass. What with her space powers.

[knightime]

I didn't ask to leave and got tossed out. Why the fuck does it matter?

I forgot about Jade. [He doesn't mean to be an asshole about it, but-] I mean there's Jade Strider here, but it's been a damn long time since I've seen Harley. [He misses her a lot.]

[longwinded]

I guess it doesn't? Mostly anyways.

[He raises his brow- oh.] Yeah, I don't think our Jade needs to be here anyways. I mean it would be nice to see her? But under these circumstances I don't think so.