Luke fon Fabre (
sacred_flamer) wrote in
animus_network2013-04-19 08:27 pm
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[Video]
[There's a moment where you can see Luke, looking angry and about to cry, before his fist suddenly descents on the terminal screen, punching it as hard as he can. The view rattles angrily, and again when he plants his hands down on either side of the keyboard hard. His voice is high pitched as he struggles not to cry, but it's a futile effort, and it's not long after he starts speaking before he can't see the terminal because of the tears.]
Jason, you damn bastard!!! How could you make me do those things?! How could you make anyone do those things!? I killed my friends; I killed people I care about because of you! And then you made us tell you about everyone!? Betray everyone?! You... you...!
[He just can't anymore; he sinks down against the terminal, just barely in view as he curls his arms around him, sobbing so hard it feels like his chest is going to burst. It's a moment before he can say anything more, and when he does, it's barely more than a whimper.]
...I hate you... I hate all of you...
Jason, you damn bastard!!! How could you make me do those things?! How could you make anyone do those things!? I killed my friends; I killed people I care about because of you! And then you made us tell you about everyone!? Betray everyone?! You... you...!
[He just can't anymore; he sinks down against the terminal, just barely in view as he curls his arms around him, sobbing so hard it feels like his chest is going to burst. It's a moment before he can say anything more, and when he does, it's barely more than a whimper.]
...I hate you... I hate all of you...
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Seeing Luke like this was almost upsetting to the man. Luke felt anger, sadness, happiness; quite a range of emotions, but there didn't seem to be hatred in him.
He could understand, though. To have such a thing thrown back in his face must have been devastating. Feeling it first hand with every replica he saw, Jade knew what it was to make those promises and for them to be broken without any of your say.
So, Jade, in a quietly odd moment of his attempting to help, he placed a hand on Luke's shoulder, giving the boy gentle reassurance he was there.]
We'll find a way to right things, eventually.
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...thanks, Jade.
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A question came to his mind. So old, yet so...]
What would you do.. If you weren't really you..?
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...when did you figure out what I was?
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Shortly after I met both you and Ion, I became aware of your respective states. I felt revealing such to you would... cause more mental distress than was needed at the time.
[At the time, he'd hated Luke. It would have been a nuisance, a problem at the time.]
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I probably wouldn't have believed you anyway.
[Because who would believe that their entirely life was a complete lie?]
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[Jade was silent again. Ion and Luke. He wondered what would have happened had he told them when he'd known. Chaos, of that he was certain. Maybe Luke would have changed sooner, maybe it would have worsened the situation. Either way, not telling Luke was a better decision.]
Believe this; you are Luke, and you are your own person. Anyone telling you different is trying to sell you something.
[A lame attempt at humor. The boy being sad was... so odd to him.]
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I know that... I don't want to think of myself as anything but me.
[He paused at that, looking at his reflection in the glass of the terminal, which had since timed out, the screen going dark.]
...there was a lot about me I didn't like, but I was so used to it, that I didn't want to admit I was wrong. That... I wasn't really a good person. That was all on me, and I didn't want to see it.
[He paused again, turning to Jade with a bit of a sheepish expression on his face.]
How did you all put up with me for that long anyway?
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Political and contractual obligation to nobility of either kingdom.
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Admitting you are wrong is the hardest part. Telling yourself who you are isn't who you should be is nigh impossible. Your reality is based on what you know, and telling yourself to change your own reality in the first place is a feat within itself.
You are a person who wants to change, desperately. And I...
[The only time Jade can think of himself faltering, failing to immediately spit out the word...]
Respect that.
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[Jade, Jade Curtiss the person that had arrested him and annoyed the hell out of him the most after he had been blasted out of the manor, who had taken the opportunity to mock him every chance he got, who was cryptic as hell and probably had more secrets than Jason had test tubes. Jade Curtiss respected him; and not only that, but was probably the first person to actually say as much.]
[Wow.]
[It was a moment before Luke had to turn away, rubbing faintly at an eye. H-he's not crying, you're imagining things.]
...thanks, Jade.
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[It would be odd, wouldn't it. Jade simply nodded his head for now. He wasn't sure what else to say. His respect was more pointed as the Luke he knew, the one who was...
But this was also Luke. A Luke who was in the midst of change, a Luke who was willing to accept that he wasn't always right. This was also the Luke he knew. Maybe it wasn't the one he had initially wanted, nor was it the Luke that he enjoyed, but it was Luke, no matter what the Tower had done.]
And, I'm sorry you learned about Akzeriuth the way you did.
[Words Jade had never gotten to say before. Sentiments Jade had never wished to express, but now, he supposed Luke needed something; someone. Jade wasn't the perfect one, and oh, how he wished Tear were here. Guy had said he and Luke hadn't been getting along and Asch was Asch. The part of him that respected Luke and considered him a friend wanted to be there for him in part. He was, after all, partially responsible for many things in Luke's life, both purposefully and not.]
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...it's okay. I... I didn't do that yet, but it's still my responsibility to learn from it, right? I can't just ignore it, saying it's something I'd never do now... because if I hadn't ended up here, I probably would have.
[...and that was the hardest part of the whole thing to accept; the part where he had to wonder if it was even okay to trust the people that he did.]
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That's.. Grown up of you. Even I'm not sure I could say that about some of my mistakes.
[Something that had always set them apart. In the beginning, they were the same, but as Luke grew, changed, he seemed to surpass the Colonel. Jade had to be forced to consider others, reminded of empathy, and beaten to learn. Luke's was arguably no better, but he understood people, understood the effects on others, and therefore his change from a spoiled noble to a man who would give himself to save a planet had been... surprising, almost worrisome. Jade wondered why he himself couldn't follow his example, sometimes.]
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[Luke glanced away a moment, not sure how to respond. He... didn't really know a lot about Jade; he could guess a lot of it was bad, and that he had a past that he was probably better off not knowing about. At the same time, he still thought of him as a friend, and... well, it was weird to see Jade like this.]
D-don't say I'm that grown up. I'll still whine at you.
[It was a pretty lame attempt at lightening the mood, and even he had to wince.]
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And I'll make sure to knock you down a few pegs occasionally.
[He was pretty good for that.]
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[He paused a moment, before giving Jade a small smile.]
Thanks, I needed that.
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I'm good for some things~