animus_network | Rumor Has It

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Rumor Has It - Giant Chickens

[So there's been an unusual amount of activity in the tower lately, and Yata seems to have been affected by it. Unlike some situations in the tower, this one's fairly humorous. He hasn't used the network in a while, but he might be recognizable to a few.]

...When I first got here, people told me this tower was crazy. But seriously? Giant chickens attacking this tower? What the fuck? That sounds like some shit from a cheesy video game.

[Although he seems to be aware that the idea itself is ridiculous, he's totally convinced enough that it's true.]

Even though it's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard of, we can't have people attacking this tower because we still have to find a way back home, assuming our worlds weren't actually destroyed.

[an annoyed sigh]

So what the fuck are we gonna do about these damn chickens?

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........Giant chickens.

[Dubious Mamoru is dubious. He means to add more, but every time he opens his mouth, nothing comes out. There is absolutely nothing he can say about someone claiming giant chickens are going to attack the tower.]

Giant chickens. Really?

[This is literally Yata's reaction.]

...Yeah. I haven't even seen them yet and this is already the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.

You haven't seen them, but you still think giant chickens are attacking?

[Despite the fact this is a logical statement and Yata (sometimes, but not all the time) listens to logic, this isn't really hitting home with him.]

I don't think they are actually here yet...

[Which is a problem, but thankfully not Mamoru's problem. Now, if someone were asking about people hearing his thoughts...]

So what're you going to do about it?

I don't know! That's why I'm making this ridiculously stupid post, considering we're having to deal with ridiculously stupid things!

Assuming we have to deal with them at all. They are chickens. Maybe they'll get distracted.

...Why didn't I think of that.

[He's not like, laughably stupid, but he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.]

[No, but playing with people's beliefs is something he's had a bit too much practice with.]

So what're you gonna do?

First sea animals, now giant chickens? You sure its not just you people going crazy?

I don't know, man. There's a lot of weird shit going on right now. Chickens may be the least of our worries.

Apparently. People are whining but I don't see anything actually happening.

I think it's largely because they aren't actually here yet.

You mean the giant chickens?

Of course I mean the giant chickens! What else would I be talking about?

Yeah, it's kind of hard to tell if you actually believe giant chickens are gonna attack or you're just very good at lying.

I hear that in modern day one of people's favorite ways to deal with chicken is to fry it. I'm not so sure that will work very will with the giant variety though...

[Diarmuid shakes his head. He knows the joke is bad, but even bad humor is better than all the panic and talk of strange rumors that is suddenly infecting the tower.]

I'm not sure who told you that giant chickens are attacking, but I have seen no evidence of such a thing. Are you sure your source is trustworthy?

Edited 2013-05-20 06:29 (UTC)

Uh...

[He skips over the part where Diarmuid tries to male sense.]

...If these giant chickens that are on their way, fried chicken might not be a bad idea...

[Diarmuid gives him a curious, slightly confused look.]

I know it was a bad joke, but I didn't think it was so bad you would take it seriously. What is going on Yata? A lot of people seem to be getting caught up in rumors that really have no basis in reality or, at least, they have no proof that they can give when I ask them about them.

What is it that makes you so sure these chickens are coming? I have seen no signs of them and if they are as large as you say, we should have at least some warning of their approach.

[He gets a little miffed because Diarmuid is making sense when Yata has been suckered into this whole rumor thing.]

...I don;t know what's going on! You don't think I realize that giant chickens are a really dumb and very unlikely to happen? Do you think I'd post something as stupid as this if I wasn't really fucking sure?

[Diarmuid shakes his head not letting the boy's testy tone bother him.]

I am merely trying to understand the information so that proper plans can be made. Please calm yourself. Knights need to keep clear heads in order to best protect those who need them, remember? If you lay out the facts that you know, then we will be able to make a much better plan. If we know no more than 'they are coming' we can't make a very good plan, now can we?

[Honestly, he hopes that by making the boy think critically about what he is saying he will realize that whatever instincts are telling him this is foolish are right and that he should be listening to them instead of whatever this other compulsion is saying.]

...In that case, won't we have to wait till we get here?

[Yata's slowly beginning to see sense.]

And if they don't get here, then whatever's making me think they are coming isn't entirely accurate, right?

If that is all the information we have, we might have to wait. If it is any comfort think of how hard people have tried to damage the tower in the past and how they have failed. For good or ill, I think it will take more than giant chickens to badly damage the tower.

[He nods, glad to see the boy is starting to think a little clearer. ~~Rumor change go! LOL!~~]

That is exactly right. If they don't show up, obviously whatever is making you believe that is wrong. I'm sure you have noticed, but odd things usually happen at certain times of the month around here and it is that time of the month.

[Yata is not aware of this pattern, and now that Diarmuid has pointed it out to him, he's sure he can find it-if he looks hard enough. The question is, can he actually find it?]

I guess you'e right, Diarmuid. No point in worrying, hmm?

[Diarmuid smiles slightly and shakes his head.]

I wish I could say there is no point at all to worrying. In this place it never hurts to worry a little. You just have to be sure you don't let that worry override your common sense. It's not an easy thing to do, but that is what friends are for, right?

Giant chickans... Mon, point me in da rite direction an' I be happy ta git rid 'a dem fer ya.

I could be usin' sum nice an' meaty fowl.

....Hopefully they'll be editable. I don't think they are actually here yet...

[He gives her a smile.]

I haven't seen you around. Glad to know you're doing okay...

Hey, if it not be edible, the feathers an' hide will be useful, let alone da bones of something big.

An' ya know were ya be findin' me if ya needed me cutie. Jus' glad ta see yer okay.

Well, eh, you know...I haven't been using the network much lately. We should totally get together and cook something sometime. This month's menu at the tower would be perfect for that. Especially if these giant chicken things are edible...

I wouldn't be mindin' someting like dat mon. Always fun ta be cookin', specially wit company an' all.

Alright! Sounds pretty awesome! Just let me know when's a good time.

I be always free mon, free ta do tings wit friends, so it be up ta joo.

If ya be free, I make time. Jus' let ol' Xue know when ya be wantin' a food day.

Alright! I'll be contacting you in a few days then!

Good den, I'll be a'waitin' mon. Have a good one eh? An' be stayin' safe.

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Rumor Has It - Giant Chickens

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wow I just realized how full of fail that last comment was god I'm sorry pretty sure I did tags late

No worries. It happens to everyone!

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