Text | Anon

[cherrygrail]

I apologize for this in advance, but I feel like I'm having a hard time fitting in here.

I don't think I do enough to help everyone here. I can't save anyone. Half of my abilities don't work for me anymore.

I am a liability. Several people waste their time keeping me safe even though I have nothing to contribute.

I don't know what to do anymore. Even asking for advice like this is selfish of me, I know, but I can't think of anything else to do. I don't want to sit around and do nothing but it feels like that's all I've been doing, and whenever I turn to action, it just causes grief.

Comments

text;

[bloodredandblack]

Who the heck are you? You could work for me but I don't pay in money.

text;

[cherrygrail]

The point is that I don't want my identity revealed.

And what exactly do you do?

text;

[bloodredandblack]

Isn't that kind of pointless when asking for help? Whatever.

I do stuff. Fight things. It mostly ends up being me protecting humans.

text;

[cherrygrail]

I can't do that. You're better off asking someone else.

text;

[bloodredandblack]

Did I say I wanted you to do that stuff?

text;

[cherrygrail]

My apologies.

What would you want me to do?

[starofpleiades]

That's not true! You shouldn't say that about yourself... everyone, even the weakest people, can help others!

[cherrygrail]

I'm sorry to disappoint you but everything that I have said about myself is true.

[starofpleiades]

I'm sure there are things you can do! Talking, supporting... even just being there for those who care about you can all help!

[cherrygrail]

That isn't enough when people are dying all around me.

[starofpleiades]

It might feel like that but even just being able to hope, having people that care for you... all of that is just as important here! As long as we can hold onto that, we can always keep fighting.

[midnightblackandgold]

You just need to get stronger. Work hard at the things you can do to take them to new levels while searching for the things you think you've lost.

Maybe instead of trying to help everyone, you should just focus on helping one person. Yourself.

[cherrygrail]

I appreciate your concern. However, with the tower being the way it is, I don't feel like I have the luxury to focus on myself.

[midnightblackandgold]

If you don't focus on yourself and getting yourself to a place where you're not feeling like a pathetic sack of useless crap, you're not going to change the situation you find yourself in.

And I'm not talking about the tower.

[cherrygrail]

I know that you are right. It is difficult to know where to start. I've always felt that doing things for others is the only way I can be of use.

[midnightblackandgold]

You clearly need an injection of self-esteem.

Think. There has to be something about yourself that you think is totally awesome. Even if it's tiny or seems really silly to be proud of.

voice;

[vermicompost]

[He speaks even though he knows his voice sounds terrible.]

I'm sorry you feel that way. No one's a liability here. We all have to work together and help each other. It's hard for everyone.

I can't do very much myself, but even I've been able to save people once or twice. There are many ways to help people. Sometimes you can help them just by being yourself and caring about them.

Even if you can only save one person, it matters. I know it matters to that person.

text;

[cherrygrail]

[ It's the person that she probably least wanted to talk to about this, but now that he's on the other side of the terminal, she feels relieved. ]

I tried but I can't even save one. Not even a single person.

voice;

[vermicompost]

It's hard, but it's good that you're trying. You can keep trying. As long as you don't give up, you haven't failed. There's still a chance.

Sometimes it takes a long time to save someone.

private text;

[cherrygrail]

I know you. Can we talk in person? Would that be alright?

private text;

[vermicompost]

You do?

[He hadn't expected that, but he does know a number of people in the Tower, so it's not unthinkable. And he won't refuse a request to meet, especially if someone needs his help.]

Of course it would. Where would you like to meet?

[Voice]

[scentofmakai]

You don't do 'enough', right? How would you know when you had done 'enough'?

[text]

[doesnotgetit]

Have you asked anyone if they can help you learn to defend yourself? I felt pretty useless too when I first showed up here... I still do, really. But I ashed some people to show me how to use a sword, so I won't have to rely so heavily on the protection of others.

[text]

[fuhgeddaboudit]

I don't think people measure each other based on what they can contribute. If they protect you, it most likely simply means that they like you--that isn't really something you can define with prerequisites. That's just what friends do; they think you're worthwhile even when you don't.

Besides, even if you think you can't do anything, everybody has something that they're good at. Humans are really great like that, and I bet you're no different. Is there anything you enjoy doing? Anything you might be skilled at even if it's just a little?

text;

[integrous]

Hey, there's a lot of people who don't have special powers here! So even if just half of your abilities work, that's still more than other people have.. either way, I guess it comes down to the fact that there's no way anyone would be useless as long as they're willing to try as hard as they can.