animus_network | ☿ // 004; [text]

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☿ // 004; [text]

I can't help but notice a handful of people actually following along with that little collar-based rebellion only just mentioned on this very network.

You're all idiots. Allow me to outline the problems with this ill-conceived notion.

I: 'But we didn't need check-ups all last month!'

This is a true statement, I will concede that point. However. Consider that last month, Ruana was in control of this tower. And consider if you will the idea (which I have not yet seen contradicted) that she is the most powerful of the current administration. Have we any reason not to theorize that perhaps she was maintaining us herself through some means of which we are unaware?

As I've previously stated, I trust basically nothing I see or experience in this tower while she is in control. Least of all after that incident with the wireframes. For all we know, she has the ability to keep us functioning without sleep or collar check-ups for the entirety of her month if not longer.

II: 'The collars themselves are probably just limiting us!'

No. That's stupid. You don't know what these collars do any more than I do. Now, if you want to stop doing what's been keeping us alive (for a given value of the word) and functioning? That's your choice. But don't pass it off as some high and mighty brilliant revolution instead of the blind idiocy that it is.

Now, maybe this will work. As I just said, I have no idea what these collars actually do. However, I find there are far better ways to rebel than 'let's all stop doing the thing that probably maintains us!' When you have solid evidence that the collars are limiting our souls or powers? I'll acknowledge that and admit some course of action should be taken. Until then, you're grasping on to anything labeled 'rebellion' that you can find, even when it's a stupid idea.

III: 'We have to fight against this tower somehow!'

You're absolutely right. Of course we can't stand idle in this place or simply accept the way it functions. But tell me this: Which of the current administrators has shown any benevolence towards us?

Now tell me this: Which administrator is currently in control?

Hint: They're the same administrator.

Now do you think it wise to stage your grand ill-conceived rebellion while this place lies under the jurisdiction of the one administrator who seems to be at all sympathetic to us? Do you really want to risk alienating him completely due to the actions of a small and stupid group? If you must try this suicidal foolishness, stage it during Jason's or Ruana's months. Remember them? You know, the ones that actively make us suffer?

I won't argue that we need to fight back, because anyone with a brain can see that. But choosing one's battles is a wise course of action, as is not fighting that battle stupidly and with no information.

Edited to add: We have solid proof of retrieval units following individuals around. Now while I think that a consequence of fighting against this place, do you really wish to draw their attention doing something you have no proof will succeed to begin with, rather than fighting a battle there's some slightly better chance of winning?

IV: You're All Going To Get Yourselves Killed.

I should say the title of this section speaks for itself. However, if this works, you need to realize it will do so through dumb blind luck. More likely those participating in this will suffer, die whatever value of death you feel like assigning to this place, or any other list of unpleasant possibilities. So don't come crying to me if and when that happens, because I'll just say 'I told you so' and probably laugh derisively.

In summary? All of you engaging in this little collar boycott are either ill-informed, stupid, or both. I would advise those of you with intellect or common fucking sense to dissuade those showing interest in this. I think I've covered the most urgent and pressing points. If there are any questions, comments, or smart remarks of 'what the hell do you know', please leave them here or in the mailbox of Lord El-Melloi II. I'm not hard to find.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Don't be sorry. I'm afraid too.

[He smiled a little shakily, letting go of Diarmuid's hand and wrapping his uninjured arm around the knight's shoulders.]

I won't lie to make you feel better--I don't know how we'll be able to go back together. But even though that scares the hell out of me, I believe it'll be okay. You and I have a connection far more than any mere contract, and I think you know that as well as I do. That kind of bond isn't one even they can break or fabricate.

I may have terrible luck, but things have a habit of working out in my favor. Trust me--I may not know what to do yet, but I made you a promise. One way or another, you will never be alone again and neither will I.

[Diarmuid starts to rest his head against Waver's shoulder, but stops himself short so he doesn't hurt his friend and makes himself be content with the arm around his shoulders instead.]

I wasn't sure if it was just me or not, but even when we had no way of knowing one person from another while the systems were down, there were some people I just knew. You, Ryoji, Labrys and if I had not been in the same room with him when it happened, my brother as well. It was like... I don't know. It was like my soul still knew theirs. I know it probably sounds foolish, but I don't know how else to describe it.

And I do trust you. More than even I trust myself. I know you won't break your promise to me. Unfortunately. emotions and logic don't mix very well sometimes...

Not that foolish, I don't think.

[Waver leaned his forehead against Diarmuid's and closed his eyes, smiling slightly.]

I know they don't. So if you're worried about this sort of thing, talk to me. I'll handle the logical nonsense.

I guess it's good that one of us can.

[Diarmuid returns Waver's smile with one of his own.]

I seem to have the emotional side of this covered and then some. Just another one of those things that makes us such good partners. Our traits really do balance each other out.

We're just too fortunate to each have such a perfect partner in the other, aren't we?

Yes....I suppose even with bad luck such as mine, something had to work out in my favor sometime, hu?

Hey, you were bound to get lucky sometime. I'd say you're even overdue for it.

[Diarmuid laughs and then smiles a little sheepishly.]

I suppose you are right.

[He looks over at Waver from the corners of his eyes.]

But speaking of lucky, you probably got really lucky that Avenger didn't just kill you. Promise me that you won't go after him alone again. Please.

I won't. I underestimated what he'd be like to begin with. Frankly, he...scares the hell out of me.

[The admission was a hesitant one, but there was no reason to lie. Fear in itself wasn't anything shameful, but fear of the one thing he intended to defeat was a little embarrassing.]

I would be worried if you weren't scared of him. He is so unpredictable that he comes out the other side. The only thing you can count on is him being completely unpredictable.

And it is probably better you learned this here where things are slightly more forgiving than later where a mistake might prove permanently fatal.

[Diarmuid closes his eyes for a moment.]

For the record, he scares me too. I don't know if I can even begin to described how wrong he feels to my senses.

[Waver crossed his arms, trying to repress a shudder as he recalled that immeasurable hatred for what seemed like everything in Avenger's eyes.]

...I don't understand him, and that could be the worst part. I'm not sure any human with real world morality can understand what logic or reason he operates off of.

If he's some form of Servant then he must be some figure from myth or legend. But I'm at a loss for who could possibly be remotely like he is, unless he's fucking Lucifer or something like that.

I think you make a mistake assuming that he has some kind of set logic or reason he operates off. Considering how he acts, isn't it just as likely he doesn't have anything like that and just goes with whatever he feels like at the time?

[Diarmuid brings a hand to his chin in thought.]

He told me that the Avenger class was made specifically for him. In that case, wouldn't it be easier to assume that he might not actually be the kind of soul usually summoned to be a Servant? In fact, perhaps you limit yourself unnecessarily by assuming he is such a thing. For all we know, what he is, is as unpredictable as he himself is.

Honestly, he is so different that it's almost like he's alien in nature. Not truly what you would call an alien these days. I don't mean something from another planet. What I mean is something that is so far beyond human that it doesn't know how to even begin relating. Something that existed long before humans and will exist long after them. Something beyond even angels and demons if that makes any sense.

[Diarmuid shrugs.]

It might explain why he acts the way he does anyway. He just doesn't know how to act in a way we would call appropriate and even more, he doesn't care to know.

So what, like...some kind of concept?

[Waver pressed a hand to his head, exasperated.]

That would be more in line with what I expected from the start. I never really expected to be able to hold a conversation with whatever's wrong with the Grail. I'd assumed something a little less tangible, never mind sentient.

But that still leaves the question of 'what' specifically. And I'm not sure that's a question even I can figure out the answer to.

Yes, a concept. That would make sense and might explain why, while he might play at being human, he really doesn't know what it is to be human. Considering the sheer amount of power within the Grail and in the systems that make the whole war work, why couldn't a concept be given life? A great many of them come very close to life on their own anyway. For all we know, he might have wished for his own life and that is what he meant when he said the class was made for him. It was the vehicle through which he was given his wish for life.

As for what exactly he is, does that really matter in the end?

[He gives Waver a curious look.]

We already know he is some kind of darkness--perhaps even some kind of evil--and that darkness has the power to corrupt whatever it touches. Do we really need to know more than that?

...I dislike not being able to understand things. Especially something like this which I should be able to understand, comprehend, and then eradicate.

I need to know everything I can about Avenger. What he is, where he originated from, and how he got from there to the Grail. The fact that I simply can't know any of that just yet is frustrating on levels I can't explain.

Waver, humans can't understand everything. Our minds...they have limits and we both know there are a great many things out there that have no limits. Not being able to understand everything isn't a failing on your part. It just is something that is.

However, just because the human mind is limited, doesn't mean you should give up trying to understand. It just means you have to be creative in your approach. As you said. You don't know everything yet. But you will someday as long as you keep looking. If one path isn't getting you somewhere, find another one. Don't keep wasting time and energy you don't have. Admit nothing can be found that way and move on.

You will find a way to figure him out. It might be small bit by small bit, but I know you will. While the human mind might have limits, I expect that its ability to grow is unlimited.

[Damn it. How was he so smart when it came to these things? Even a decade later it seemed so easy for Diarmuid to pick out Waver's mistakes and correct him on them. Had he really not changed at all from the scared little kid that didn't have a clue what he was doing?]

[Giving up on the argument, a thoroughly exhausted Waver leaned his head on Diarmuid's shoulder.]

...I really hate when you're right sometimes, you know that?

Don't hate it. It's actually a good thing.

[Diarmuid carefully puts his arm around Waver, this time at about mid-back so that he can avoid the man's injured shoulder, and pulls him closer.]

You are very much wrapped up in this situation and it's not hard to see how you might be able to miss things. I'm more outside of it so it is easier for me to see those things you are missing. It's not like we haven't done this in reverse several times already with you being able to see things I am missing because I'm so wrapped up in something.

It's just another example of why we are such good partners...

[Tension gradually draining out of his rigidly held back and shoulders, Waver slowly relaxed against Diarmuid's side as the knight spoke.]

...right. You and I are partners even in this. I guess..I let myself forget that because I was so ready to dismantle the Grail on my own or with Tohsaka. But it's just as well--you're someone I need just as much as you need me.

I think at this point, in a place like this? We probably both have to be here to keep the other in check.

[Diarmuid smiles as he feels Waver finally start to relax. Maybe if he is lucky, he will be able to get his friend to rest after all.]

Yes, after all I forget to let myself rely on you just as much as you forget to let yourself rely on me sometimes. We are both getting used to having someone we can trust with everything again and that is something that takes time.

Mm...you're right.

[His tone was quiet and nearly absentminded; it was a moment or two before Waver spoke again.]

Diarmuid, would you do something for me?

[Diarmuid tilts his head down to look at Waver.]

Of course. You know you can ask me anything. What do you need?

I'm really damn tired, so would you just...stay here for a while? Please.

[Diarmuid reaches up and carefully ruffles the other man's hair.]

Considering getting you to rest has been my evil intent since I got here, I think I can do that.

You're simply too cruel. An evil genius, I'd say.

☿ // 004; [text]

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