animus_network | [Video/Action] Bittersweet the Bonds of the Heart

[Losing Mami, who he viewed as an adopted daughter, last month had been hard, but Diarmuid had worked his way through his grief by focusing on the happy times they had spent together. However, when three more people he is close to are sent home--two of which he cares for like his own children--those happy memories become a source of pain instead of a route passed the grief.

When he appears on the Network, Diarmuid looks more lost and empty than he has in a long time.]

Usually, when I address everyone, I am asking for help on a project that will benefit the whole Tower. Today, I am asking for help on a more personal level.

How does one handle losing a child? Not just one, but several over a short period of time? Nothing I try seems to work, and I am...

[His voice trails off here, shaking and uncertain. A short time later, the feed ends.]

Action:

[After making his post, Diarmuid can be found wandering the Tower almost as if he hopes one of the floors might give him the answers he seeks. There are some specific prompts below, but feel free to find him elsewhere.]

Room 4-16:

[A handmade wooden box sits on the bed next to Diarmuid. Once it held chocolates, now it holds letters. Several written in a childish hand are sitting on the top, but what Diarmuid is looking at is a pair of drawings that are usually set up near his bed on the nightstand.

He's not crying... He's not...]

Floor 48 (The Graveyard):

[Rabbit would probably scold Diarmuid for singing what is suppose to be a funny song in such a sad voice, but it's hard to be happy when he is singing the song alone to the gravestone of the person who was suppose to be singing it with him. He and Yotsuba had promised to get together to sing Rabbit's songs as a way of honoring their friend's memory...

Now that is never going to happen in any way other than this.]

Floor 3 (The Library):

[There is ink smudged on his cheek and his arm, but Diarmuid doesn't notice. On the surface, he's focused on printing more copies of the Tower Guide to put out for those who might want them, but really he's in the Library for a very different reason. Tohko was always here and it's like he feels spending time here will help him find her again--find that cheerful voice who had so often redirected him when he didn't know what to do next. He almost expects to look up and see her there, smiling and ready to offer her help with what he's working on.

Unfortunately, no matter how long he waits, that will not happen.]

Floor 28 (The Music Room):

[Before even his brother, Labrys had been the first family Diarmuid had in this place. Their bond created during the January experiment, afterward they had talked about learning to play an instrument together, but life in the Tower and his indecisiveness had kept them from doing so. Now, as his hands run over the piano he had once heard her picking a tune out on, the sound of his grief blocks any music the instrument might make.

How is it that one who once lived his life with no regrets has so many of them now?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Waver, I hardly consider you a kid.

[The hand in Waver's hair rubs gently at the back of the man's head.]

Relax, okay. Your timing was right on. It did make me feel better. Thank you.

...So it would be acceptable if I were to--hypothetically--do it again?

It would be more than acceptable. I would actually encourage it.

[Diarmuid laughs lightly.]

Hypothetically, of course.

And if I wanted to hypothetically encourage you to do it instead? It would only be fair after I caught you off guard like that.

If you wanted to hypothetically do that, I would have no problem with kissing you.

[Diarmuid leans closer to Waver.]

So shall we make the hypothetical, reality?

I don't think I would mind if you wanted to experiment on this particular hypothesis.

Excellent. Then let the experimentation begin.

[Diarmuid gently pulls Waver's head forward so that their lips meet. Even though there was desperation in his kiss before, Diarmuid makes sure to keep it all out of the kiss this time. Instead, the kiss is soft and coaxing. He really wants Waver to be less nervous about this kind of thing. To enjoy it as much as he does.]

[The harshly stiff line to his shoulders gradually started to relax, Waver leaning forward just slightly. His free hand moved to Diarmuid's shoulder, hesitant but still receptive to the circumstances.]

[It's progress. Diarmuid hardly expects Waver to suddenly relax completely. He would be worried about the other man if he did. His hand rubs gently at the back of Waver's head in a calming motion, before ending the kiss with a light flick of his tongue against Waver's lips as he pulls away.]

How was that for an experiment? Successful?

I...think that was a positive result, yes. [Waver actually seemed a little dazed for a moment, like something had made him just a little lightheaded.]

[Diarmuid seems very happy at Waver's answer, but his eyes narrow with worry when he notices how dazed Waver seems. His free hand comes up and lightly strokes the man's cheek.]

Is...everything okay? You look unsteady.

I'm fine. I just don't think I'm particularly used to that yet.

Ah...a good kind of unsteady.

[Diarmuid gently pulls Waver's head toward his shoulder so the man can rest it there if he would like.]

Someday, we will get you more used to it. I promise.

[Waver leaned his head on Diarmuid's shoulder, arms dropping to wrap around the knight's waist.]

Diarmuid, I-... [Faltering, he trailed off before trying again.] ...you're of vital importance to me. No matter what happens, I want you to remember that.

I will. I promise. I just hope...

[Diarmuid pauses, his voice suddenly sounding unsteady. To cover for it, he leans forward to press a light kiss to Waver's forehead.]

You mean the same to me. I don't lie when I tell people I love them. No matter what happens, don't ever forget that or that I am proud of you.

I know, Diarmuid. Hopefully we won't be going anywhere, but if one of us does...I just wanted to be sure that was clear.

It is. I just get scared when I think about it. I don't ever want to forget you, but if I have to go back to my world...

[If he is sent home, he will return to the Grail and he will be forced to forget everything. Even if Diarmuid wants to believe some things can't ever be forgotten, deep down he is scared that the power of the Throne of Heroes is much greater than any wish or hope he could ever have.]

I know, Diarmuid. But I won't let that happen if I can help it. You don't want to be alone any more than I do, right?

Right.

[And if his answer isn't proof enough, the tight squeeze he gives Waver should be.]

I know I say all the time that people are stronger when they are together, but when it comes to us I think that is especially true.

[After all they have both been through, there is just something between the two of them that helps to balance out all of the bad that has happened. At least, that is how it feels to Diarmuid.]

We're just exceptional like that. You and I are a perfect team of walking complexes and trauma.

[Diarmuid laughs gently.]

We are a perfect pair of somethings. What I don't know, but I don't really mind the mystery.

You love it all the same, I'm sure.

I do. I'm not even going to deny it. People have called me perfect at times. I don't agree with them...except in this. This is perfect even if we struggle at times. That just makes it more real.

Any kind of relationship that's actually perfect would be bland, really. The faltering and uncertainties of it make things much more interesting.

Remember that the next time you doubt how well you are doing in all of this, okay Mo Stór?

(no subject)

fionnuisce - 2013-10-26 21:14 (UTC) - Expand

oathshackledbird - 2013-10-27 02:08 (UTC) - Expand