animus_network | i. anon text (possible action)

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i. anon text (possible action)

[Typing comes slowly to Gilles, who never used a keyboard in his life, and whose fingernails are almost more like claws than human nails. Nevertheless, these shortcomings aside, a conversation with Lancer and the example of the anon meme have given him an inadvisable idea. He is about to join the proud ranks of those who have asked for love advice on the Tower Network.]

my friends!!

i come to you to ask your advice ! i believe i might be in love but how do you you tell if oyu are?? if iam how do i maek my intentions knowN? please advice me as to what i should do?

my thanks!

[Also, as Gilles is big and obvious and takes ages to dramatically type his replies, it is quite possible for one to encounter him in the library, where he is eagerly awaiting replies that may assist him in his hour of need.]

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W-what, me? No...!

[He draws his arms up to his body, tugging at his lapels. Clearly very distressed and uncomfortable with the question.]

Judas!

[Gilles stares at him for a few moments.]

Are you... a virgin?

[Due to Gilles' decidedly poor ability to read others' emotions, he doesn't realize how much this subject is distressing Judas. Also, he is very nosy.]

[He jumps, stammering a few times before finally answering.]

Yes...

Ah, but Judas, you are a grown man. You should taste the fruits of pleasure! We must find you someone to love!

I-I'm fine, it's fine...!!

No, no, I must assist you! I insist. After all, you have done so much for me.

[Gilles puts his hand over his heart.]

I vow that I will find you a suitable lover!

You really don't have to...!! I don't think...I want to...

Of course you do! It is wonderful to be in love, Judas! It makes your heart beat faster and your blood race and your stomach queasy! To love someone else and be loved in return, there is almost nothing finer!

I don't feel I deserve that, and besides...I don't have the, uh, disposition.

[Judas would have a heart attack before he could even kiss someone tbh]

Yes you do, Judas! You have been so wonderful to me, so kind and forgiving! If I were not already in love, I would be your lover.

You simply do not know! Once you've experienced it, you will understand!

Um...thanks...

I think if I've gone this long then it's not really a problem...

[Granted all but maybe 25 years were spent in Hell...]

You are welcome! Beautiful Judas! Who would not want you?

[Gilles beams.]

It only means that your poor heart has been locked away. It has been far too long! We must act at once.

I can't imagine who would?

I've already said I do! So you need not imagine. But I know there must be others.

I know many people in the Tower. I can help you. And I will!

I really think it's better not to. Peter and Andrew used to try...it was awful...

I will not make the mistakes they did!

[Not that he knows what those are. But it's true, he'll probably make his own individual mistakes.]

Do not let your first disappointments turn you away from love. Love transformed my life!

[Not necessarily in a good way.]

Yes, you need not fear, Gilles de Rais is by your side.

I don't think they necessarily made any mistakes...I'm just...not cut out for something like that...

[Unluckily for Judas, Gilles is possibly the worst listener of all time.]

You must not think so poorly of yourself. True, you have committed a terrible sin. But now you have been forgiven! There is a type of love for everyone!

[Gilles loves love a lot.]

Even I can find love! A wretched murderer like me.

That's not necessarily the problem...I mean, I do think I'm no good and no one would want to be with Judas. But...even thinking about it is just too embarrassing... I've always been a nervous man...

I understand. You need worry no more. Gilles will see to it.

There are those who find such anxiety charming! A shy, retiring, boyish young man... It is appealing.

[Gilles pats his head fondly.]

You must be more confident, that is all!

B-boyish? Who would like that... And am I really?

[Other than someone like Gilles.]

You are very attractive yes!

[Everything Gilles says is 100% true. He is trying to help you out bro.]

I will help you with these matters! You have advised me so well. Now I will return the favor.

No, I mean...boyish...

But really, please, don't ....

Yes, you're lovely and slender and youthful, as I said.

[Gilles would hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable, but he isn't that self-aware.]

I know you are shy and afraid, but I will help you through this time!

[He pats his shoulder.]

I...

[ There is really no telling Caster he doesn't want to, huh. ...at least something like this would keep his mind busy and off of murder, though?

He sighs, hanging his head.]

F-fine...

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monstrueux - 2013-12-03 06:26 (UTC) - Expand

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thirtybits - 2013-12-11 01:32 (UTC) - Expand

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